


Maybe in My Words

by Paradoxalpoised



Series: An Untold Fairytale [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Femslash, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Swan Queen - Freeform, Swan Queen Big Bang, Swan Queen Big Bang 2014, Swan-Mills Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-17
Updated: 2014-09-18
Packaged: 2018-02-17 18:30:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 62,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2319185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paradoxalpoised/pseuds/Paradoxalpoised
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Engaged in a grand battle for the freedom of the Land of Fairytales, Regina Mills is kidnapped by the Wicked Witch of the West. When forced to remember her memories and leave New York to be reunited with her parents, Emma Swan decides— with the help of her friends— to engage in a desperate search to rescue Regina. During their journey, Emma is guided by the journals Regina has left behind for Emma to read and discover the true Regina in a story never told before.</p><p> </p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fuck

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Maybe in My Words](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2294504) by [artbyjoana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/artbyjoana/pseuds/artbyjoana). 



> [ **Setting** | Events in this story are situated post S03E11, over a year has passed on Earth and in the Land of Fairytales.]
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> I would like to thank Joana for the amazing artwork she did throughout the piece, as well as Gio, Schwarmerei1 and Devje for their original and revisited editing.
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> You can find me over on Tumblr. and Twitter @Paradoxalpoised.
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**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma arrives to Regina’s palace and spends the night in Regina’s apartments. She finds the journals Regina has left behind and begins her journey into Regina's past and her most intimate thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ **Settings** | Events in this chapter begin on day 10 after Regina’s abduction, the very day Emma  & Henry are brought to the Land of Fairytales. For the sake of timeline and storytelling, the New Curse was activated by Regina on Storybrooke’s town line on October 10th 2013. Regina’s letter was written on May 16th 2015.]
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 _‘The 2nd day of Full Moon during the 2nd Moon of Spring of the 6033th Lunar Cycle,  
_ _583rd day of my curse, Rocio Palacio_

_Emma,_

_Would you have preferred Miss Swan again? It’s been over a year, a year and two hundred and eighteen days as I write this, to be precise._

_You needn’t have come, Emma._

_Your mother could never leave well enough alone, I’m afraid. You and Henry. He must be so grown. Is he angry with me? That I left him for the greater good? Me, and the greater good. Life has a strange sense of humor._

_There was a price to pay. I fear the note was long overdue. I only paid it because I knew he would be happy, with you. You would be happy, too, with him._

_I protected your idiots the best I could. They had to go on and try to be heroes, of course. Take you away from your happiness. From Henry’s._

_You deserved it, Emma, the opportunity for happiness I gave you. I shouldn’t have kept him from you. I don’t regret a single thing I have done. It all led to Henry, it all led to the only true joy I could ever hope for. I shouldn’t have kept him from you, but you scared me. I have been a Queen, I have led armies, wielded magic and ruled the world. You scare me._

_No, I do, I regret a few things. I don’t ever want to lie to you again._

_You needn’t come for me, Emma._

_If you’re reading this, it means I am either dead or a prisoner again. She was going to come after me, some time or another. It’s what I would do, if I had me as an enemy._

_She wants power. She wants more power, more magic. She wants to get back to Oz and have her revenge, I suppose. How ironic. It doesn’t matter to her if she annihilates this world in the process. This one or any other._

_Leave, Emma, leave. Take Henry, and his father if you must. Take your idiots and leave._

_I’ll destroy this green witch or I won’t, but you should always put Henry first. You have to stay alive for him. You have to keep him safe. You and Henry, you can still have the life they ripped you from. You don’t have to forget for that, you can walk away and be happy. There is no shame in putting Henry first, Emma. There is no shame in giving him his best shot._

_You don’t have anything to prove. You never had anything to prove to me. It’s enough. You’ve done enough, suffered enough. You were sacrificed on the altar of my rage, of my grief, of Rumplestiltskin’s cowardice and greed, of your mother’s good intentions which are paving all of our roads to hell._

_You won’t leave. We both know you won’t. Not now that you remember, and all these idiots have their talons in you. I know._

_I can’t tell you much of what you are walking into, but whatever she can take, she will. Flying monkeys are just the tip of the iceberg. Start by making sure Henry stays here, not White Castle. She’s certain she’s defeated me. I left enough magic volumes and other magical interferences lying around my apartments for her to take. She won’t be back now that she has me._

_Eugenia has been running the castle and the day-to-day operations of the merry little band of renegades living on my land. Leave Henry here, with Tinkerbell and Neal. He knows his way around. Robin Hood and his people live on the grounds. They will guard Henry with their lives, that much has been secured. If all else fails, Marika will take him away where he’ll be safe._

_I promise._

_Only Ruby and Hua Mulan, Emma. You’ll find gold, supplies, clothes. Everything you need is yours. Red knows. Hook will follow anyway, you might as well make use of him, but Emma, beware… He may think he loves you, but you can only trust him as far as you can throw him, which isn’t quite far enough._

_You have to stay alive, Emma._

_Don’t be reckless. Don’t rush. Don’t doubt. You will find me, it’s what you do. Use the skills you have. Stay with your friends. She can’t—absolutely can’t—know about you. Do you understand? I mean it, Miss Swan. Focus, find your center, your clarity. Be calm. Once you find me, if I’m not dead, that is, once you find me, then we will deal with her._

_Do not do anything grand with your magic. With that heart of yours._

_There is so much I wish I could tell you. I have little time. Too little time. Another irony. I have been away from you and Henry for a year and two hundred and eighteen days. You are here now, and I am the one who is away from you._

_Maybe in my words you will find a way to hear the things I could never say._

_You needn’t have come, Emma, but you have. Idiot._

_When you tell him you love him, and kiss him goodbye… mean it for me as well, will you? My Little Prince. He’ll know._

_Stay alive, Emma. Please._

_R.’_

It’s signed a single _R_.

Emma gazes around the room, upon all the papers, maps, books, and chaos of Regina’s bedchambers. It’s not what Emma expected. It looks a mess, but not the type of fight Regina would put up if anyone tried to fuck with her in her own house.

She thought the Queen’s bedroom would be ostentatious, more like the Mayor’s mansion, or White Castle. It’s nothing like that here. Here, it’s like Regina, just Regina. It’s classy for sure, the bed is huge—she’s sitting on it now—there are wardrobes and tables, a vanity, chairs, a great terrace, and a whole area that is a study and a library. It’s like there should have been a wall, but Regina just took it out when she moved in. There is a large desk, and another table with things Emma can only recognize as some sort of chemistry set. Regina and her potions, always baking something.

She’d very much settle for that apple turnover right now, if it meant having Regina back safe and sound.

It must be really bad. She wrote ‘ _Please_.’

Regina had to give herself away, of all things not helpful. Who’s playing hero with grand gesture and shit, now?

“Fuck.”

She puts the letter to the side and picks up the soft, tanned leather-covered journal, bound by a leather lace on top the notebook cover on the front. She runs her fingers over the covers, back and front. The leather is carved. It’s a tree, with long branches stretching in all directions. Emma feels a coat-of-arms. With the tip of her finger she follows the circle of a round shield encompassing antlers which grow from what looks like the crown of a stag’s head. The antlers continue into the branches of an apple-bearing tree.

She unties the knot, opening the notebook. On the inside cover she finds a deep red wax seal of the same coat of arms embossed on the leather, only much smaller. There’s another stamp underneath the first one. It’s a swan with a crown, not the pointy type like in children’s books, but it looks like a crown. Its head is not inclined, it’s looking up and its wings are unfolded, spread as if it is about to take off flying. Majestic.

She breaks the seals of what she dreads is meant for her eyes only. The seals are magical. She felt that little zap and then the humming of magic—Regina’s. It’s intense, but her heart swells with contentment. Their magic together does neat tricks. Magic, every fairytale character she’s encountered trembles at the word. You say magic, and someone gets to sharpening the blades, pikes, and stakes.

Regina’s magic under her skin feels as good as sex.

Maybe it doesn’t make up for all the fuckery that is created with magic every time it’s used, but it can do pretty insane things, too. Like stop armageddon. Like give her a life with Henry. Like giving her motherhood, a whole year of motherhood. In New York. Where she belongs, with her son. She knows how to be a mom now. She’s Henry’s mom—not just the other one—and she has Regina to thank for that. Provided she finds her first. She’d be glad if she had half the confidence Regina seems to have in her. Doubt.

Her magic flares a little. She’d forgotten that feeling. She looks at what’s written on the page the broken seals revealed. It’s a spell. Life was better when it wasn’t about spells.

The thing is written in a language she doesn’t get, with symbols she doesn’t know. There’s a message with it.

_‘Emma,_

_The spell is designed to allow you, and only you, to read what I’ve written on these pages over the years. Almost fifty years of my story. The one that nobody from this world, or the other, knows about or ever wished to tell._

_I won’t lie to you anymore._

_Close your eyes, focus on your emotions, find your core just like I taught you. Feel your power thrumming, find the balance. When you’re ready, think of me, feel the magic I have placed for you on this page. Breathe it in._

_My magic will recognize yours, thus the spell will take effect._

_You’ll be fine, dear. And when you’re not, remember your friends._

_You are loved._

_R.’_

Emma lets herself fall back on Regina’s bed, the journal on her heart. She breathes in and out, turning to her side, taking in the sight of the room. Stress creeps over her and magnifies the headache she’s had since they stepped into this world. Fairytale Land, the Old World or FTL, Henry calls it for kicks.

“Fuck.”

 

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Emma tries to relax, to find calm. She grimaces. ‘ _Find peace, feel the Force._ ’ Regina’s like Yoda somehow, telling her about magic. She’s Luke Skywalker not able to lift that X-wing up from a Dagobah swamp because she can’t believe she can, or she can’t focus enough. Or she’s too busy trying to save people. Again.

When is this shit ever going to stop?

She hides her face in the pillow, a sigh raising her shoulders. It smells like Regina. Amber, a spicy, cedar scent—warm and comforting. Regina’s scent has always been inviting, mouth-watering almost. The woman is so confusing. This world is so confusing.

She reads the message in the notebook again. She can feel Regina’s magic everywhere, no problem. It’s her calm she can’t find. Regina is gone and maybe hurt, maybe worse. This witch is out to have their necks. Emma is glad to have her family back, her friends back, herself back, but the situation sucks. It scares the shit out of her and it’s hard not to miss New York. It’s only been a day.

‘ _Find peace, feel the Force_.’ Emma closes her eyes and visualizes. She remembers Neverland. She can hear Regina’s voice, telling her about her center, her pool of power, the emotions, the difference between anger and will. Even if anger had been what Regina knew best, that’s not what works for Emma, they both knew that then.

Emma visualizes Regina. In the mine that day she thought they were all going to die. In Neverland, once Henry had woken up. On the town line, the moment they had to say goodbye. The pillow is soft and comfortable. She could close her eyes longer, she could sleep. It’s been an exhausting day. She’s tempted but the urgency to go and do something clashes against the frustration to just say fuck it and leave all this mess behind.

She won’t, but indulging in the contrary helps put heart into her courage. Emma finds her resolve. It’s not that she really has a choice. She clutches onto Regina. She inhales. The swell of the magic spell saturating her is branded of Regina. It should smell of fudge but instead the scent is spicy, salty but sweet, it has a freshness but is kind of indescribable. Like Regina. Intense.

Her power flares in her eyes. The world turns blue for the fraction of an already lost moment of all-mightiness.

The notebook says _Su Excelencia l’Infanta del Reino Sureño y la Duquesa de Basurto, Princesa Regina Esperanza Rosa del Ciervo Rendón en Sandoval del Manzano y del Molienda_ on the following page. Emma’s Spanish isn’t the best, but she can make the name of her birth place, _El Reino Sureño_ , the Southern Kingdom. The calligraphy is lyrical, passionate, but only in the name. Underneath she has written, ‘ _I am Regina._ ’

Emma turns the page reverently. She’s frightened of doing this. It’s clear Regina wants her to, somehow, but it’s not her thing, breaching other people’s private thoughts.

Fifty years of her story. That means Regina is close to being seventy years old, if Emma’s done her math properly. That’s enough to give her pause from diving in right away. She turns the page in a swift movement, gets a whiff of paper, leather and ink. It smells like a good old paperback wrapped in leather.

It’s Regina’s life, though. Something that she’s been curious to discover but that she’d rather have Regina tell her over coffee, instead of reading it in a book while on the run to save her life. All of their lives.

The pages don’t stop. The book doesn’t really end. When she turns the last page with elegant handwriting on it, it’s like she’s brought back to the center of the book with many pages left. Emma flies over the neat and not-so-flaring-anymore penmanship, musing at the sensation of her fingertips caressing emotions, hopes and dreams. There are stains sometimes, what could be tear splatters, bloody fingerprints, and spots of wax. Some words are harsher than others, like Regina has pressed too hard on her pen. It’s fountain pen for sure, several. Sometimes the ink color varies in shades of black and purples. Emma realizes that Regina can draw. She smiles at that. Of course the woman would know how to draw.

There’s a time system. At first she doesn’t understand it. The calendar is different in this world. Regina also wrote in Storybrooke, though. An extra blank page separates the new entry. It says October 22, 1983. The date of Emma’s birth. Soon there are other things, like in a scrap book. Pictures of Henry, pictures of them together, neatly glued to the page, a lock of his hair. Sometimes Regina draws still. Emma doesn’t linger too much, she doesn’t want to spoil her discoveries.

Reading the journal feels like Regina has surrendered an intimate secret to which maybe Emma shouldn’t be privy, and she doesn’t want to defile the trust Regina has placed in her. Emma has never been given such trust, but she has had her own privacy violated more often than not. She knows what this means, and she’s pretty certain that on this she shares Regina’s sentiment.

There are the people who tear through the wrapping of their Christmas presents and those who delicately peel off the concealing paper knowing that, no matter what is underneath it, the moment is to be savored. She’s got no doubt they’re both in the same category.

Something else stops her. There’s more, after Storybrooke. It’s not just Fairytale Land calendar again, it’s—she checks more pages. Regina is counting the days since she got transported back to this world. Since she got separated from Henry and her.

Each entry in this section begins with her name—well, it starts with ‘ _Miss Swan_ ’, but then ‘ _Emma_ ’, Regina calls her Emma. She remembers Regina saying that everything that didn’t belong to the Curse would disappear, but other things would return. Maybe people came back with some of their things that belonged here. Like David’s sword, or Ruby’s cloak, and apparently Regina’s journals.

In which she calls her Emma.

She has resisted rushing into Regina’s past, but her more current thoughts, she can’t. She folds her knees up to her chest, looking for warmth. It’s getting late. She’s probably missed some sort of dinner. She can barely read with the dying sun. It’s her first day in this world, and aside from the Blue Fairy sending her to Regina’s palace with Ruby, she hasn’t witnessed much of the lifestyle people have here. For all she knows they do things differently in Snow and David’s place.

Snow and David’s place. The baby. She focuses back on the smooth swirls of Regina’s penmanship, preferring it to the dwelling of her mind and emotions.

_‘The 1st day of Rising Moon during the 1st Moon of Autumn of the 6031th Lunar Cycle,  
28th day of my curse, Rocio Palacio_

_Miss Swan, Emma…_

_The cricket thinks it would be healthy for me to keep a journal. I didn’t tell him I have, most of my life. I don’t know if it’s kept me healthy, probably not. It’s kept me aware, I suppose. I didn’t tell him I want to write you. He would annoy me with what that might mean, and truly I have no patience to spare. I don’t want to know. Whoever decided to make him the town shrink wasn’t me, I can tell you that much._

_And don’t snort. It’s unbecoming.’_

Emma snorts. She can see Regina rolling her eyes and the bitchiness is priceless. Is Regina being nice? If the circumstances weren’t so fucked up she probably wouldn’t feel like crying because she’s laughing and Regina might be bitchy just to cover up she’s being nice.

_‘He visits, Archie. Twice weekly, like clockwork. Does Henry still favor clocks? I think he only did because of his awareness in Storybrooke, while all the other children and time were still. You have no idea, the panic. The sheer panic. He was growing, listening to Mary-Margaret day in and day out teaching him about building bird houses. He smashed a few eventually, when ice cream, baking, comic books and cartoons stopped being enough._

_He’s very bright, you know that? I taught him perseverance through work and dedication. He is bright, and he must have taken that from you, not his father. Neal is clever, but Henry is intelligent. He must have some catching up to do on the current school curriculum, but up until he ran off to find you, I was tutoring him at home. I wanted him to be able to go to college when the time came, have the life he deserves. A fulfilling one. I hope you’re making sure he gets good grades. He’ll want to make you proud._

_Neal visits with Archie. I think your mother has ordered him to check on me. In case the crown goes to my head, again, no doubt. I’m not at White Castle, if you must know. The air over there is way too charming. It sets my teeth on edge._

_Dark Tower was destroyed with the casting of the curse. I am relieved, I think. It was the White Summer Palace. Your mother’s childhood castle is safe. She was able to go home. I’m staying at El Rocio Palacio. The palace was damaged, but my people rebuilt it while we were gone._

_My people._

_Grandfather’s people. King Xavier. King of El Reino Sureño. Well, my Uncle Lautaro was the reigning King before me. I am in Basurto, the land of the forest. It’s the northern part of the Southern Kingdom. Basurto should have been my father’s land. If not for my mother. We used to live at the tip of Basurto, on the edge of the frontier with Brocéliande, in the forest._

_The palace is deeper in the body of the Enchanted Forest. It’s mine now, the palace, the palaces, Basurto, Araya, Verano. The Realm is mine. If my mother could see it. My father would have never held a throne. He was fifth in line, with four older brothers who all had children._

_Succession is a strange thing. I am probably responsible a way or another for some of how and why these people died or stepped down, but here I am. We did things properly. I abdicated the White’s throne to your mother and her shepherd._

_Snow checks on me. Neal wants me to tell him about Henry. He brings Tinkerbell with him. He irks me. I can see him being amusing for ten minutes with that smirk he thinks irresistible and that crinkle at the corner of his eyes. Then I remember you were nothing but a child, a stray, a girl and I—five minutes. He abandoned you, set you up for prison, all of that because he was afraid his father might get to him. All of that on Pinocchio’s word. Pinocchio. If he wasn’t Henry’s father I would have roasted him and put his head on a spike._

_You were nothing but a child and I can barely say his name._

_Your mother checks on me, but it’s you she wants. She’s driving me mad with her questions. Snow White wants her daughter back. The price of the curse may not be enough for her, but I won’t throw away your chance, Henry’s chance. I left White Castle after the abdication, only a few days after our return. She wants you back more than she wants to hear about the witch, the Wicked Witch of the West._

_She’s green, just as in the movie, Emma. Have you ever stopped to think how it can be that there are so many stories of us, fairytale characters, or plain imagined people, from this world and apparently others? I never knew Oz to be real, and I can only tell you of what I read in the books and saw on the television on Earth. I dread what other stories lie hiding in very real shapes and forms on other worlds, in other dimensions._

_How can there be stories of us? Well, some tales of us. Mine was never told because it is here between these pages and never seen by any other eyes but mine, and now yours. It makes me wonder of vampires, ghosts and elves._

_I won’t help her, Emma. I don’t suppose you would forgive me if you knew, but for as much as it shatters my heart and tears my soul, I will not help her bring you and Henry to this world. Not when you are safe and carefree in a world where magic is dormant, only thriving in the imagination of bards and storytellers._

_Your father has yet to come and ask. They send Neal instead to torment me. I thought that’s why Eugenia and Red were here, too. I turned up one morning at the breakfast table, so as to silence the few old, privileged and useless counselors my predecessor—my uncle—loved to surround himself with. I’m eating pancakes. Only me, mind you—I have no idea what the others were having—with cut fruits and yoghurt that is almost Greek._

_There was a note next to my tea, we don’t have coffee in these parts—yet, because I’m positive Marika is working on it—that said, ‘It’s honey. No maple syrup yet. Deal.’_

_Miss Lucas’ sense of humor hasn’t changed, although she’s more—well, more. In any case, they were in the kitchens, Red seated on a counter and Eugenia with her sleeves rolled up, completely at ease like they own the place._

_I guess they do. Eugenia gave me the look, or so Red calls it, saying I was being ‘lax with the staff and unconcerned with the affairs of the State, Regina. There’s no other word for it. You better get a hold of yourself.’_

_I sassed back, you can imagine, told her, in so many words, who is master and who is dog. Red almost rolled on the floor, and I let her know pets aren’t allowed in the kitchen._

_You would have loved it._

_Anyway, that was that. Since then, I have a dog following me everywhere and a proper Grand Master of the Southern Kingdom. Well, Grande Maestra to my House and Realm, to be precise._

_She rules everything that isn’t political, and, of course, that has its politics all the more. You should see her, with her scolding frown and iron hand. This place runs like a charm. The court has reduced to the only third I would tolerate. She seems to think I shouldn’t be bothered, for I need my mind to rule and figure out how to dispose of our green inconvenience._

_I don’t know how, Emma. They all look at me as if I am going to pull a rabbit from my hat and either get you back so you can Savior us all or disapparate her in purple smoke on her merry way back to Oz, abracadabra._

_I don’t know how._

_I want to see you._

_Henry and you. I haven’t asked the Genie because he’s pouting. It wouldn’t work anyway. Ariel has gone. She and Eric are visiting. She wasn’t sure she would be able to with the new curse, but it worked._

_She said you’re in New York. You’re living in Manhattan in the apartment near Christopher Street. Which means you remembered the trust fund and my agent._

_You will never need for anything ever again, Emma. You, who has needed for everything._

_You are safe and adjusting well, Ariel reported, with smiles, places to visit and things to do. She saw you at the Hudson River Park with Henry, throwing a ball with funny hand mittens._

_Did you turn a Yankees fan, Miss Swan?_

_I miss him. I imagine being there, in New York, from memories we have, Henry and I, the movies, the books, the maps we studied, all the trips and grand adventures we imagined, and the places I always wanted to take him. He’ll finally get a chance to go visit the American Museum of Natural History. You’ll take him, won’t you? He’ll be insane with joy at the dinosaurs._

_I never did take him outside Storybrooke. I was too scared to leave town. I was entirely too scared, for far too long, and entirely too much for my liking._

_I miss you, too, and that stupid red leather jacket of yours, ruining my parade at every turn._

_R._ ’

“Emma?”

There’s an annoying but gentle hand touching her shoulder. It smells like cinnamon in the air. That’s nice, but still.

“Hmm—” She’s conscious now, and she’s cold. She’s tired and she was kind of sleeping. On Regina’s pillow.

“Henry’s getting ready for bed, Em,” Ruby says. “I figured you’d want to say goodnight. He asked to come here but I wouldn’t want him to see this mess.”

“Okay, okay, I’m up.” She’s thorough in rubbing her eyes of the remnants of sleep at their corners. She’s been crying.

“You okay?”

Apparently she’s not the only one who’s noticed. No, she’s not okay. Everything here sucks. She wants to be with Henry, back home, in New York, to go out for bagels and a movie. She doesn’t want hot chocolate, even with cinnamon. She wants a smoothie at Jamba Juice and to go to the park with Henry to work on his throwing arm before they go see a Mets game.

“Yeah. I guess. Does it show a lot?”

“Henry will notice. It’s been an emotional day, Em. He doesn’t have to know that you were crying,” Ruby’s tone takes a turn for sassy, “on his mother’s pillow, clutching her journals to you.”

Ruby Lucas. Professional pain in the ass, with super keenness and werewolf shape shifting—friend extraordinaire.

“You know what the book is?”

“She didn’t exactly explain, but she’s been carrying it around and writing in it often.” Ruby sets her candelabra on the bedside table. She settles beside her on the bed. “She also wanted me to make sure you would find it, if she wasn’t here when you arrived.”

“So, she did allow herself to be taken?” Well, fuck. Why would Regina do that? Now Emma’s here and useless. She has to find Regina instead of trying to find her own way back to Earth.

“Yeah.”

“It’s fucked up.” It is. As if Emma wants to fight this green bitch. As if she can. This is definitely fucked up.

“It is.” Ruby wraps a protective arm around her shoulders. She’s holding a cup of hot chocolate in the other, which explains the lovely smell. Emma wants to say ‘thanks but no thanks’ and be annoyed with her friend. With everyone. “She hasn’t been herself ever since that day. Or, rather, she’s been the Regina you would have liked her to be when you first met her, Em, but her heart has been bleeding for the longest time.”

Yeah, and she was happy with Henry in New York. Happy and safe. But who cares?

She’s kind of taken aback how young it’s making her feel. Ruby looks like a teenager, wearing pants, barefooted, white lace shirt, leather jacket. Fairytale Land style. That’s when Emma remembers, at best this is Ruby-Red, very much Red, and she’s about fifty years old.

Shit.

Come to think of it, Ruby was fifty in Storybrooke, too, but she wasn’t prepared to look at it that way. The tables were turned. And then it was New York and the bliss of not remembering any of that.

“So you’ve really been her guard dog?” It’s half-tease, half-bite, and that’s all right, only because it’s her. Not that Ruby being Red would stop her from pushing her luck if she felt like starting a fight, but she’s only tired and grouchy—not stupid.

“Mostly at night, or on the grounds when it’s just the two of us.” Ruby’s arm leaves her shoulder. “Rest of the time I am the Queen’s Right Arm, Commander of the Monteros de Espinoza, her bodyguards in the Guardia Real.”

Ruby stands and shoves the hot chocolate into her hands.

“Drink, it’ll warm you up.” Ruby isn’t so harsh when she adds, “I made it for you just like you like it.”

Emma takes a sip. And another longer one. She wants to be mad. They had no right. She says nothing under the scrutiny of Red, because Ruby is still there but whatever hesitance, guilt, or entire lack of self-worth she had seen in her friend before has gone.

She sets the empty mug on the bedside table by the candle holder.

“She was under your watch. You let that green bitch take her when she was under your watch.”

Emma knows she’s being an ass with this woman she cares about and just got back in her life this very day. Ruby has been by Regina’s side. For all she knows, she too was opposed to tearing Emma and Henry from Earth to bring them here. For all she knows, but not for all she cares. Her tone is cold and if Ruby’s face is any indication, it’s that she isn’t happy about it.

“I wasn’t with her.”

“Is that why you’re still here and she’s been gone ten days?” Because honestly, if Ruby, this Ruby—Red, whatever—didn’t even try to get Regina back, what good is Emma going to be?

There’s a fleeting and ugly hurt on Ruby’s face. It’s costing her to be standing here in front of her. The realization dawns on Emma. It’s not that she wouldn’t go, it’s that she couldn’t. It’s costing her that she’s offering hot chocolate, comfort and patience to Emma’s tantrum instead of running off to find Regina.

Her Queen.

“Your son is waiting for you in his bedchambers. Granny’s with him. The guard can guide you there.” She turns around and walks to the door.

“Ruby, I’m—”

“Don’t try and ditch the guard. I ordered him here for your protection. He’ll be sorry if he loses you.” Red is out the door before she can add another word.

“Fuck.”

She’s an idiot, but being kept in the dark isn’t something she enjoys. Being here is not something she enjoys. Clearly, Ruby’s priorities have changed. Emma didn’t even get asked about hers before she was thrown out of her life by a pirate.

 

* * *

 

Henry’s bedchambers are much smaller than his mother’s, but quite refined and comfortable.

“Ma?” His voice is small, but not because he’s still her little boy.

“Hey, Kid.” Even in New York she had called him Kd. Regina had thought to give her that. He’d been calling her Mom, though, not Ma. Regina had given her that, too.

“You figured out where to find Mom?”

Children are resilient and flexible. Like bubblegum.

“Kinda. Your mom gave me a clue.”

Adults have to decide to adjust, to not have things mean more than they are. Mom and Ma matter just as much to Henry. He’s finding a solution to the duality of his memories, and the wholeness of his heart.

“So she’s playing it smart, right?”

Mom and Ma are both loved for who they are. He’s called Regina Mom for twelve years, and he’s called her Emma for two. Ma is good. It’s being Mom with another ring to it.

“You know your mom, kid.”

She’s just going to have to get used to it. It’s all right, and it’s not Regina’s fault. It’s her own mom’s fault. To be dealt with later.

“So what’s the plan?” He’s sitting up on his bed now, inside his covers, and she’s missing his head on her shoulder instantly. There’s an empty mug on his bedside table, identical to the one Ruby brought her. Granny’s sitting in a large brown leather armchair that looks quite comfortable. There’s a fire in the hearth of a large chimney with a white marble mantle.

“I don’t know yet, I’m sure someone will tell me eventually.” She wants to tell him there’s no plan and she doesn’t want there to be one. They should be safe, and home. “I just know I’m leaving in the morning.”

He’s frowning already. “I’m going with you!”

“Henry, it’s too dangerous.” That’s an understatement. He’s going to end up an orphan, is what’s likely to happen. Again.

“I don’t want to go back to Grams and Gramps. I’m fourteen. I’m not a little kid anymore.”

“No you’re not a little kid anymore, but you’re still a teenager with no training.”

“Kids my age here are at least knights in training.”

She wants to chuckle. He’s worried and mad that he can’t go with them to save Regina, but he’s already negotiating his downside because he’s known all along he isn’t going anywhere.

“You’re not going back to the White Castle. You’re staying here with Granny.” She nods in the woman’s direction. “If that’s all right with you, Granny.”

“As far as I’m concerned, this is Henry’s home and he’s Regina’s heir.” She looks at her, then Henry.

There’s this keenness again, and all the wisdom that comes with age.

“You are the Infante del Reino Sureño, Henry. At fourteen, you should have started your proper training in knighthood. You are your Mother’s People’s Prince.”

There’s respect and love in Granny’s voice. For Regina.

“Mom, if I stay here like you want me to, can I please start training and, you know, do something useful?”

He’s got to get used to it too, it seems.

She’ll thank Granny for the ambush later. As much as she wants her baby boy to be her baby forever, he’s hit puberty, he’s seen and done and been around much too much already. He needs to be able to defend himself. He should know how to take care of himself. The violent way too, especially in this world.

She doesn’t want to be here. This world is odd. Not that she has a lot of experience in world travelling. It’s only that she’s been here before and she had that gut feeling that this world is not for her. Not for Henry.

She has that gut feeling still. She doesn’t want to be here, fighting some crazy shit having to do with magic, princesses, queens and saving the world.

“‘kay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Promise?” His eyes sparkle.

She’s going out to save Henry’s mother, she might not come back. They might not come back. His eyes are sparkling and he’s all that matters.

“Yeah.”

“You gotta say it.”

“I promise that you can start your training, and I trust Granny with making sure you won’t get hurt or killed in the process.” She smirks and ruffles his hair as he grins for the first time today.

“Time to sleep, boy. Your mother needs her rest,” Granny says.

He lies down as she gets up. She threads her fingers through his hair. She has a feeling he’s going to want it shorter.

She kisses his forehead with all the love she knows how to give. “Sleep, Henry, it’ll be okay.”

“I hope she’s not in pain somewhere in a dungeon.” He sounds sad and frustrated.

“You can’t think like that. Your mom is the strongest person I have ever met. She’s going to fight, she knew we were coming. She’s going to fight and I am gonna bring her back home, okay?”

“Home here?”

“Here, or wherever. Home to you.”

“‘kay.”

“Okay.” That’s her promise. Their promise.

Whatever she wants, whatever she would like, they’re here. They remember. He needs his mother. Regina can’t die, it would break his heart. She’ll go. For him. To hell with anything else.

She returns to Regina’s rooms. If it’s a breach of etiquette, nobody’s told her.

The guard is following her everywhere. He doesn’t open doors for her or make conversation. He just follows and speaks only when spoken to and calls her ‘Your Highness’. He is dark and serious, the kind of guy who would mess you up if you tried to up him.

It’s not too hard to make good on what Ruby’s asked.

He stops at the doorway of Regina’s chambers. It’s clear he isn’t going any further.

“‘Kay so, goodnight.” Emma kind of waves at him and closes the door.

Someone has lit a fire and has left a long, loose cotton shirt and capri-length pants on the bed.

She makes her way to the bathroom. It’s remarkably modern in there. There is a sort of fountain coming from the wall with a large basin underneath it. The basin collects the water and feeds it back to the wall, creating a constant water system. The sound is soothing. There’s an intricate circuit of copper pipes coming from the chimney and a pressure system.

The running water is—Regina made her own hot water indoor plumbing. It’s really cool considering the room is not a sauna at all. She wonders where the soiled water goes, from the ‘shower’ and the toilets present in the far end of the room. She’ll have to ask her, when they get back, because that’s quite something. Her bathroom in their loft on Christopher Street isn’t as grand but she likes it better, and Henry is just happy he has one to himself. Although he shares it with the guest room.

For now it’s hot shower, teeth brushing—they’ve got this very eucalyptus-ish type of paste, with wooden, soft and small brushes, it’s really clever actually—and sleep.

She’s lying down in Regina’s bed. The journal is next to her, with the neatly folded letter in the cover. She’s holding it to her chest as she’s turned around. She wants to read further, but the second she got under the covers, her eyes started drooping and she doesn’t have the strength to fight it.

She doesn’t remember falling asleep, but the stars are bright in the sky and the crescent moon is shining high when she wakes up. She’s a bit startled because there’s something warm and furry breathing deeply and leaning into her side. She waits and she listens. That fur is quite soft against her shins and the small of her back.

She turns around, and though she did expect the animal to be a wolf, she didn’t expect it to be so huge. Like really fucking huge. It’s not just a legend. Totally not like in children’s books. It’s all curled up and sound asleep. In all seriousness, whoever named Ruby ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ needs to get their sight checked.

“What the fuck, Rubes?” She’s not freaking out, per se, just—big wolf in her bed. Well Regina’s bed, but still. Gigantic head, pointy, freaking sharp teeth and monster paws.

Now a naked woman.

Emma jumps, putting some distance between herself and Ruby’s naked body. “Ruby, what the actual fuck?”

“It’s just me. Chill.”

“Oh I am chilled, I mean… Yeah, uhm… what you doing here, in bed, with me?” Naked.

“It’s where I sleep.”

Emma’s awake now. “You’re sleeping with Regina?”

“What? No.” Ruby’s kind of smiling and Emma has no idea why. “I sleep here. As the wolf. In Regina’s bed. She—she’s had a lot of trouble sleeping, and it’s my job to watch over her. See?”

“Nope.”

“I didn’t want to intrude on her with my human presence and my wolf form seems to relax her. So I would just lay by the side of her bed, on the rug, and I don’t know—”

Emma feels the shrug of her shoulders more than she sees it.

“Winters are cold here, she’d always end up on the edge of the bed with her hand on top my head. One night I thought she was going to fall so I hopped onto the bed with her, and she didn’t have anything to say against it when she woke up.”

‘And that’s it? Every night?’ she thinks. It’s not her place to ask, but she’s going to have to ponder that one.

“I’m sorry, Ruby.”

“I know.”

“It’s not on you—”

“It’s okay. I’m your friend, Emma.”

“I promised Henry we were gonna get her back.”

“Then I guess we’ll have to.”

“‘kay.”

“Sleep now, tomorrow we take off. It’s been long enough.” There’s a decisiveness to Ruby’s tone that echoes with the one in Emma’s heart, despite the unknown and all the doubts.

Soft fur and deep breathing soothe her to sleep again.

She searches deep within for the calm and thrum of her power. She thinks of Regina, the lines of her face, the sound of her voice. She lets her scent surround her.

_‘Be strong Regina. I have your journals, I’ll listen. I’ll find you.’_


	2. The Expedition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After upsetting discoveries about Regina's past, and the necessary preparations, Emma and her friends are finally beginning their rescue mission. Their resolve is strong but their plan a bit shaky as they don't have much to go on with. The group has yet to become a team, cohesion and morale are not high.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ **Setting** | Events in this chapter begin on day 11 after Regina's abduction. For indication, in the first of Regina's entries in this chapter, Regina is 21, Snow is 15, Red is 10.]
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* * *

   
 _‘The 3rd day of Rising Moon during the 2nd Moon of Winter of the 5988th Lunar Cycle,_

_White Castle,_

_The girl delivered it._

_I hadn’t realized that the older woman had the girl run this particular errand. It seems cold of her._

_She’s younger than Snow, and has no real idea of her existence. They don’t live in the kingdom, only close enough to the edge of it, in Brocéliande._

_I didn’t talk to her. I let her hide the pouch where Marika indicated she should. She’s so thin. I wonder if they’re hungry. I can’t imagine her grandmother not feeding her properly. It seems the Widow Lucas’ life is invested in that child._

_She’s a werewolf. A magical creature. She has magic, like me, but she has no control over it. She took the wolfsbane potion I put there in trade for the silphium. She left the gold. Not the gold for the plant, the gold I meant for her._

_Why won’t she take the gold?_

_I needed the horse ride. It doesn’t hurt too much now. Another day of Snow’s concern. Of his disdain. I was ready to throw myself off the balcony._

_I was further along than I had thought. Further along than the first time. It was a girl. My baby girl._

_I hate him._

_He gave me a week’s time. Not even half a moon. I begged him._

_The only time I ever begged him was four years ago, the second night after the Royal Wedding. He didn’t laugh this time, or tell me, “You will grow to enjoy it, my young Queen.”_

_He only said, “You shall give me an heir. It is your royal duty. And, once you do, you will give me another. I will take what is mine, and you will give it to me gracefully, for I am your King,” before he rammed into me._

_The stench of him as he grunts, thrusting his manhood in me._

_It feels like being torn apart from the inside, each and every time. He likes to force me around, dominating me from behind and also in ways he needs not to carry on his line. It hurts more than I am able to describe. I have learned not to scream, for I don’t want to gag on the fingers he shoves in my mouth, like he does his member, when he wants to humiliate me further._

_I won’t give him children. I won’t give him heirs. I swear it on my own life._

_There’s silphium to help me, delivered by a girl wolf._

_I am not begging ever again._

_Marika is so much gentler than he is. Love is weakness; Mother was right. Marika loves me, though, with her enticing caresses and burning lips._

_Why does he have to be such a brute? I care for his child, I hold my own at court, I don’t disgrace him or speak out of turn. He doesn’t love me, he doesn’t care._

_I wonder how Snow can ever think she will have a fate different than mine? He will marry her off to some soon-to-be or already reigning animal, forcing himself upon her like her father forces himself upon me, night after night, for blood and land. For heirs, to perpetuate their lineage, their houses, their fortune and power._

_For girls to be thin and hungry? For peasants to slave over field, mill, forge, castle? For young men to die on battlefields barely dry from their older brothers’ blood?_

_No, I will not give King Leopold of the White any heir to assert his even stronger hold on thousands of lives, starting with mine._

_He’s just as great a monster as Mother. She would force his seed in my belly herself were she here with me. Rumplestiltskin likes to call himself my mentor, but, the way he thinks, the things he demands of me, I fear he is of the darkest kind._

_I need his teachings, though, so I may fend for myself soon. So I may be free._

_I won’t suffer in vain. If I must suffer, and it seems I must, then I shall suffer for a purpose of my own._

_I enjoy Marika. I enjoy learning with Marika. I made the wolfsbane potion for the girl this time. It will work for now, but she must suffer terrible pains as it runs in her blood._

_Why won’t she take the gold?_

_Marika took my little girl. We incinerated her in the craft shop, behind the grow house. There was incienso and flower essence, it smelled sweet and beautiful. We planted a rosa damascena Marika has been growing. It has roses of the deepest red. I placed the ashes with its roots. I would rather keep them with my apple tree, but if I was to dig by the tree’s trunk, we would easily be discovered. Surely by Snow, once again._

_I didn’t weep for you then, preciosa hija mia, but I will forever carry your soul in my heart.’_

Emma cries, bent in half over the toilet bowl in Regina’s bathroom as she retches.

She’s been up for a few hours. Since before dawn, really, when Ruby the wolf bounced out of bed, stretched, and jumped clear off the terrace. There must be others terraces below because Regina’s room is quite high and there wasn’t any yelping.

She picked up Regina’s journal, and started to read. She has had to pause, but she hasn’t been able to stop herself.

“It’s too much, Regina.” She wipes her mouth and rests her shivering body against the cool marble of the floor and wall.

She’s speaking to herself, trying to drive away the hideous images which the first four years of Regina’s life as the White Queen—just a seventeen-year-old kid—have drilled into her eyes, even shut. The first year, Regina didn’t seem to write anything, as her journal starts with an explanation of how she finally managed to secure a spell to hide her writings. Once she figured how to do so on her own.

She’s already Rumple’s student when she first shares. She doesn’t write too often: she regrets it apparently but she can’t find the privacy. The King has her watched like milk on the stove. Snow frets over her, wanting her attention and love. The young Queen seems divided between hatred, frustration, rage, and such a heavy sadness. It’s not like she doesn’t care about Snow, but she can’t bring herself to forgive and love her as the Princess would wish.

She mentions Daniel. She misses him.

She mentions Cora, too, but she doesn’t miss her. It’s ‘_Mother this, Mother that’_, or to pass judgement on herself or reassure herself of their differences. There’s something on Regina’s mind about Cora, but Emma can’t tell just yet what it is. All she knows for sure is that, although she rarely sees her father, he does visit. She has arguments about it with the King although Henry is always quite amenable, in Regina’s words, and always has an attention for Snow. He visits. Alone. Regina hasn’t seen Cora in four years of her marriage and apparently it doesn’t seem to bother anyone.

She writes maybe once a week, sometimes less. Emma is starting to understand how the people of Fairytale Land keep track of passing time. They count in rises and descents of the moon cycle, that’s their weeks. Months are the whole moon cycle, and there are a certain amount of moons per season. They mark four seasons in the Enchanted Forest—that she can tell of so far—but she’s not sure about the other lands. She’s not sure about anything concerning the other lands yet, except some names and idea of them being North, South, East or West.

She’s learned, for example, that Snow White’s mother—her Grandmother, Queen Eva—is the second-born child, Princess of the Winterlands, where snowdrop flowers grow and survive the blizzards. It’s why her mother was named Snow, and why the King had the flower planted all over the grounds of White Castle.

She’s also learned that her grandfather is a nasty motherfucker. The horrors Regina had to go through. When she reminisces about her mother, when she explains her marriage, and her first months at court. The abuse—there’s no other word for it; all this time she had thought her family were sort of the good guys. She can barely shake the recounting of Regina’s first pregnancy. The little boy she lost, bleeding in the middle of a dinner she had to sit at until she could discreetly leave, only to be discovered by Snow, unconscious on the floor of her bedroom.

She could have died, alone, terrified. The king had called for Marika, and a midwife, but only the herbalist had been able to help. He shunned her for weeks afterwards, allowing only Marika at her side. Regina’s friend, whom she only accepted as such after a couple of years of patient efforts from the older woman, fellow citizen of their homeland, _El Reino Sureño_ , The Southern Kingdom.

Emma has tried to make it roll on her tongue several times, but she’s pretty sure she’s only butchering the name that must sound beautiful in Regina’s mouth. Maybe she’ll teach her, when they’re together again.

Marika. Regina’s first lover was a woman.

Emma takes a short breath, rubs at her forehead, and threads her fingers through her hair.

Marika. The only seemingly non-toxic breath of air the young Queen was able to give herself then. Along with tending to plants and trees, learning potions, studying nature and the natural magic around her that isn’t corrupted.

Emma can also see the continuous strain on Regina’s mind that is Rumpelstiltskin. Manipulating her, flattering her ego, tying her self-worth to him, lying to her and playing his schemes so that Regina is well on her way to becoming the most powerful witch of all realms, of all ages.

In his image.  
  


* * *

  
Emma skips breakfast, her stomach turned. Her mood lifts for tea and time with Henry. They don’t have much time left together before their goodbyes. She’s leaving by land later on with Ruby and Mulan. There’s a consensus floating around, as if each person she meets feels a sense of duty towards her. She understands her friends—now Regina’s friends—have been organizing, defending, and often pursuing the witch themselves, but with little success. People know what they’re doing, it’s just that what they’ve been doing hasn’t worked.

Prepared, organized, proactive but failing. It’s enough to be uneasy, at best.

It smells like secret societies. Like Emma is half of a greater plan, and Regina is the other. If finding Regina is of the utmost importance, protecting Emma while she does it is top priority. And they’re both royalty, which is not to be overlooked. She’s never going to get used to being _‘Your Highness’_.

Henry is a prince. He’s just as much out of sorts here as Emma, but he’s bouncing back from their uprooting experience much faster than she is. Kids are resilient like that. But so is she. It’s not that. It’s not that at all.

When soon after, Ruby leads her back to Regina’s rooms, she finds out that clothes have been tailored for her. Riding, practical, modern, quite to her liking clothes. She has high boots and a tight threaded pair of midnight blue pants that make her feel like she’s wearing jeans—maybe not as skintight as she’s been used to, but they’ll do. She finds spare pants, shirts, undershirt, underwear, and above all, a red leather jacket with quite the unexpected design.

It has a hood. Just like in Assassin’s Creed.

She looks like this pretty cool superhero ready to embark on a hero’s journey and quest of her own. Maybe not quite super, but she very much likes the style Regina’s given her all the same.

The question remains, though, why—if Regina refused to help bring them to this world—why would Regina plan so extensively for Emma’s expedition to find her? Why not say ‘fuck this world’ and simply stop her parents from doing what they set in motion?

Regina could have done that. She could have taken Emma’s parents or the Blue Fairy on. Regina detests all of them. She could have destroyed the stuff they used to tear Emma and Henry away from their life together. She could have stopped them.

Something tells her that this Regina who is no longer reviled by fairytales people, maybe knew deep down that she needed Emma to save this world. Maybe people suffering and dying for her sake, or Emma and Henry’s, wasn’t sitting so well with her.

Emma and Regina don’t know each other; however, Emma feels now—and she has before, in Storybrooke, in Neverland even—that they both have a deep and instinctive sense of each other. Not that Emma has listened, but it’s real. She has it in writing.

The jacket is thick but flexible—it could be lined with fur in the winter—and it has a pocket in the middle of her back. It’s big enough to fit Regina’s magical notebooks in it so they’re not bulging out of the waist of her pants and she can have them on her at all times.

It makes her feel better. She can’t risk losing Regina’s journals.

There are also weapons, a light sword she can carry across her back, a dagger of the same quality, and an interesting mutation of a crossbow and a handgun. She’s going to have to figure out a name for it.

Emma straps the harness for the long and elegant dagger Ruby gave her and her personal single-hand crossbow around her waist and right thigh. She’s a bit encumbered by the quiver hanging loosely at her hip and thigh filled with short, sharp and dart-like arrows to recharge the weapon.

She just has to get used to it. Like with everything else around here.

“It’s quieter than a gun but still has several shots in it before you have to reload. You only have to tie the string with that thing, like on a Colt in a western movie. She’s had it engineered for you and tested by Robin Hood,” Ruby tells her as she helps her fasten all elements of her attire properly.

“The_ _Robin Hood?”

“Yes. Don’t worry, he’s not all that the stories tell him to be. Not even the born-ready archer thing.”

“No?”

“Magical bow.”

“Oh, don’t tell Henry. He’s all into _Arrow_ and _The Avengers_. He’s going to be disappointed.”

“He’ll find out soon enough, but all the same I’m glad we won’t be the ones to have to let him know.”

Emma packs a bag she can carry on her back and straps the sword to it for now. Ruby stops her before she can add more to the saddle bags she also has.

“I’ll finish packing for you. I won’t forget what you’ve set aside. You should go visit the Lady Floran by the grow house. I think you’ll find it enlightening and I’m also sure whatever she feels like parting with will be helpful.”

“Like a first aid kit?”

“Yes, we’ll be happy about that when she’s saved our lives once or twice.”

Emma has a shiver of horror at the thought of wilderness, bugs and other creatures—or people—who could harm them along the way. She remembers the mosquitos from her last visit in the Land of Fairytales.

“Where’s Mulan?”

“We’re meeting her at the stables. Her and Bug. And Hook.”

Emma grimaces and sighs.

“So he’s following?”

“Like a lovesick puppy. He got here with Tinkerbell and Neal this morning. I discouraged him from following us yesterday, but he’s got it in his mind that wherever you go, he goes.”

She studies the slender, muscular woman adjusting her jacket for her. Ruby is changed. She looks up to meet the caring face of her friend. Ruby tucks a strand of Emma’s hair behind her ear.

“What if I don’t want him to?”

“Then you let me know and I will eat him for you. Hook and all.”

Emma chuckles at Ruby’s grin. She doesn’t have the shadow of a doubt that if Hook tries anything that doesn’t suit her, Ruby will kill him on the spot.

It’s comforting. Because Regina is right: even if Hook can come in handy, when it comes down to the nitty gritty, she doesn’t trust him.

“Who’s Bug?”

“Your horse.” Ruby’s smile is priceless, and if Emma didn’t know about the wolf thing, she’d say it probably would be her best weapon.

They’re soon ready to go, but first Emma heads out to meet Marika, the mysterious woman of Regina’s journals. Emma imagines her beautiful—as Regina described—golden skin in the sun, worked and callous hands but soft and assured, the penetrating look and the silence, the accent when she breaks it. She’s intrigued by this woman who managed to warm her way into Regina’s heart.

Where was she, later in Storybrooke? Who was she? Did they keep seeing each other?

Henry is following her everywhere. She can feel his anxiety growing at the idea of parting from her. She tries hard not to show him her own fear and doubt. Her new outfit helps.

As they walk down the paved lane to the grow house, Emma can’t help but notice the beautiful red rosebush, placed in the center of a parterre of dark earth and crawling small white roses.

Damascena roses. It survived.

“Good morning, Your Highnesses.” Marika nods to both of them. “I am Marika Floran, Her Majesty’s Royal Herbalist.”

“A herbalist? So, you make potions and ointments?” Henry asks with a curiosity she always loves to see bright in his dark eyes. It raises his eyebrows and shines on his whole face.

“Indeed, Your Highness.”

“My mom is very good at potions.”

“Her Majesty is very gifted in the art of potions.”

“I watched her brew a sleeping potion that was very powerful once. I wish they taught us that in chem. Is it dark magic?” Henry is relentless, but Marika, whom she definitely can’t place from Storybrooke, is willing to indulge him.

“No, Your Highness, potion-making has nothing to do with dark magic. Magic is only dark if you will it to be, or if you are possessed with it once it’s been darkened.”

“You shouldn’t have to call me Your Highness, you know.” He air-quotes the term. “Henry is fine, really.”

“But it isn’t fine. Your Highness is my Prince.” Marika ponders a moment, leaving Emma to study her and Henry’s reactions. These two are going to be great pals. “I shall call you as I do Her Majesty, your Mother, if it pleases Your Highness.” That’s directed at her, Emma realizes. “Alteza.”

“That’s Spanish, I like it.” Henry smiles.

“Maybe that is the first thing we should teach Your Highness.”

“Yo ya hablo español, mi madre me enseñó cuando era un niño. Plus I have four hours of it every week at school.”

“I didn’t know you spoke it that good.” Emma chuckles to cover her surprise.

“Thanks.” He’s not as excited as he could be, but circumstances are dire and time is ticking.

“Henry, I’d like a word with Mrs Floran. Can you go find your dad and Granny? We’re supposed to meet Mulan and Ruby at the stables.”

“All right. I’ll see you later, Mrs Floran.”

Marika smiles at him and bids him goodbye with the Spanish formal endearment she promised him.

“Who were you in Storybrooke?” She’s cutting to the chase, no need to beat around the bush.

“I was a nurse at the hospital. My main purpose was to care for the patients in the psychiatric ward. I was guarding Belle French.”

So that’s what Regina did with her. She entrusted her with her dirty secrets.

“So we’ve never met before?”

“No, Your Highness, we have never met before.”

Emma produces the leather covered journal she’s pretty certain Marika knows of, and sets it on the large and imposing dark wood surface of Marika’s desk.

“You love your Queen, don’t you?”

“I do, Your Highness.”

There is no lie.

“She thinks you will protect our son against anything that will come to harm him. That you will keep him safe in the end, when everything else fails. Is she right?”

“It’s what Regina needs from me.”

There’s no doubt where Marika’s loyalties lie.

“How do I know you’re not like Sidney?”

“Question my loyalty at your leisure, but I won’t have you question my motivation. She’s my Queen and her son’s safety will always be my priority.”

The herbalist produces several pouches, pots of ointments and bottles. Conversation is over.

“Until you both return.”

Emma lifts the satchel Marika has filled with her precious remedies for their rescue mission.

“Give them to Hua Mulan, she will explain their usage to you. Be safe, Your Highness.”

“Thank you. For everything.”

Marika nods.

 

* * *

 

“So.” Emma’s ass feels wrecked after only a day’s ride and she’s already cursing this world with no cars, no cell phones and every place takes so long getting to. A fucking expedition to go anywhere. “How bad is it?”

“What do you mean, lass?” Hook is sitting against the trunk of a nearby tree, close enough to her. His hook catches the firelight.

She’s not talking to anyone in particular, but they’re all chewing on a stew Ruby put together with some meat she walked back to camp with—they keep their share of food Granny packed for them for lunch—and aside from going North, nobody’s got a damn clue of where Regina is. Obviously Regina planned for her to be involved, even if she didn’t like it. Regina wanted Red and Mulan involved. And maybe even Hook, even if Regina must have hated it.

“You guys aren’t telling me everything, now’s the time to spill.” She’s been quiet, absorbing, processing, and spending a good day just figuring out how to stay up straight on a horse without falling face first in the dirt.

She’s done waiting for them to decide they need to talk.

Her ass is sore, her head hurts and there’s no coffee either. At least it’s summer. The humidity sucks, but the herbs and creams Marika gave them seem to be good at repelling bugs. She’s not sunburnt, which she’s glad not to have to deal with.

“Emma—”

“No!” She feels the anger rise up in her chest all over again. “I want to know if there’s a plan of some sort. You said she’s your friend.”

“She is, Em. Regina’s my friend.”

“I know you, Ruby. You’re not the kind of friend to let her be taken, willing or not, and then wait to go after her for ten fucking days!” She’s standing, her bowl of stew forgotten, fist raised instead. “I’m listening.”

All three are looking up at her, but she’s only paying attention to Ruby, her friend. The only one she has, knows and loves.

“It’s not so much that we have a plan as you became the plan along the way. We exhausted all our options. We’re nowhere, and I think it’s what Regina feared all along. Her being taken, it was her last Hail Mary, the last hope that maybe she could do something before you got here.”

Ruby sighs. She looks sad, defeated.

“She never wanted you involved. From the moment we returned with Regina’s curse, all Snow and David have been going on about is how to get you here. Regina refused to help, she wouldn’t have anyone jeopardize your happiness with Henry.”

“So how did we get here? How do we remember?” There’s resentment in her voice, because she knows.

She knows what it actually cost Regina to let go of her child, of her family. Maybe even of their strange and unexpected friendship, their connection. She has done it before, and she certainly had not gotten twelve years of their miracle of a child when she did.

So yes, she resents them. These people, their selfishness, their needs. Their incredible lack of true courage. How much more are they going to have to pay, Regina, Henry, herself?

Some get their true loves, their boats, their fairydust, some get to be pregnant and do their lives over in their castles—heck, in a hut, for all she cares. They get theirs.

“The Blue Fairy.” It’s Hook who answers her. “Getting to New York wasn’t the hardest part as you know, but when you—when kissing you didn’t work, I snuck you a potion to jog yours and your boy’s memories.”

“You thought you could give her True Love’s Kiss?!” Red is kind of growling. These two ain’t gonna be mates. Fine by her. Presumptuous, egotistical jackass.

“Can’t blame a pirate for trying the direct approach.”

“At least I kneed him in the balls.” She bites the inside of her cheek not to laugh outright.

Even Mulan smiles a little.

“That will teach you, Killian Jones. Imposing yourself on a woman is no honorable behavior.”

“You say that like you think I’m anything but a pirate, lass.” He’s got a smirk on his face, but he doesn’t seem to realize that he’s not impressing any of them.

Mulan isn’t fazed, “The Queen wanted to alter her path, Emma. To take responsibility for her past actions by acquitting herself of the sacrifice required of her so that you and your son could be safe and go on living a good life. Bringing you here the way your parents did—it has not broken her curse. We don’t know what the effects could be and she has been wary.”

“Mulan is right. The Wicked Witch has been harassing all of the realms, but she’s pressing on a few, like White Kingdom, Draconia, Tianxia and Yönder. Not The Southern Kingdom, at least not deep in South. She’s focusing on Brocéliande, it’s the central part of the Enchanted Forest that belongs to no realm, only Magical Folk. There and the Northern part of the forest belonging to the Kingdoms I just mentioned. There hasn’t been a lot of thought put into breaking the curse. Regina and—we think that we can’t take that chance before we handle the Witch.”

“So that’s what made Regina decide she was a target?”

“That, and the fact that we have no idea what the Wicked Witch wants. It’s a bold strategy, but you don’t need me to tell you how Regina is. She wanted to do the best she could to get this world safe before you got here with Henry. Plus, she figured that she was being assessed. It was only a matter of time.” Ruby shrugs.

She looks like someone who knows much more than she’s ready to let on. Ruby is loyal to a fault and incredibly trustworthy. With anyone’s secrets. They’re going to have to talk, though. It’s only that now is not the time to insist.

“She was trying to save you? Us?” She’s not incredulous that Regina would take such risks for Henry’s safety, but for an entire world? Trying her best to make sure no one gets hurt, here or anywhere else?

“The Queen has been nothing but honorable since her return.” Mulan is solemn as ever. Maybe it’s just her natural formal disposition, but there’s always been a seriousness in her dark, but soft eyes. It’s a form of melancholy she’s seen before. Broken hearts, bloodied knuckles and bad shiners.

“Regina is not the only one to think this way, Swan.” Hook is standing next to her now. He’s too close, with his doe-like looks and arched eyebrows. “Your parents and the other Kingdoms are readying armies and weapons for an eventual battle, but against sorcery this grand, it’s rather stupid.”

“What do you know about the witch? Has anyone seen her?”

“We’ve seen flying monkeys, and werewolf attacks—”

“Wait, werewolves?”

Ruby is wary and weary when she answers, “She can control shapeshifters. Any kind. Even the true kind. The monkeys are shifters as well, although they’re not from our world. Not that I know of.”

“So she can control you?” That doesn’t sound very practical, or safe, for that matter.

“No, not me.” Ruby shifts from foot to foot, she’s obviously not discussed this with the others. “I heard the call once, but Regina was with me and she helped. I know how to resist it.”

“How do we know you will resist it without the Queen? Or if we get close enough for it to be a lot stronger?” Hook’s tone is not to her liking but his questions make sense.

“I started training with Regina as soon as I arrived at Rocio Palacio. She helped me gain control of my wolf.” Ruby is standing tall, fierce. “I can resist the Witch, don’t you worry about that, pirate.” She steps closer to him with a smirk.

Hook being Hook gives her a once over and seems to catch up with what the rest of the world has known for a while. Ruby Lucas is stunning. She’s dangerously stunning, wild and animalistic. Emma hasn’t seen her in action but she’s seen her as a wolf, and she wouldn’t be surprised if Hook’s survival instincts kicked in—

Right about now.

“You’ll be the first I sink my fangs into. You won’t see it coming. Or you will.”

Hook loses his sass and is probably grateful for the eyeliner. He sits back down by the fire but doesn’t pick up his bowl of stew.

“Red.” Mulan’s tone isn’t scolding or even authoritative, but it’s enough to remind Emma that it is late, and they are tired. “We should get rest, the journey is long.”

“So, in all this time, you guys didn’t get anywhere and now the Wicked Bitch of the West has Regina? Lovely. Let’s try this again, shall we?” She takes a deep, pacifying breath. “Regina said we should go north?”

“Indeed. Many men and mercenaries have been flanking to the witch’s side. She has gold and power. People like to pick the winning side.” Mulan gives her an honest and intelligent look. One she’s kind of missed, now that she’s in her presence again. A woman who is capable and whom she can trust. “Regina is a cunning strategist, she knew to trust in us to find her. I think we should find their supply routes.”

“She may be a witch, but men need food, armor, weapons—” Emma’s emotions are quieting down, except for one.

“Booze and women.” Hook butts in.

“Indeed.” Mulan nods. “We all know she’s looking for something she believes to be in the Enchanted Forest or in the Northern Realms. However, these Kingdoms are preparing for war, and so must she.”

“If it were me, I would take what is destined for my enemies and harass their supply lines.” Emma is scheming. It’s very much like planning a con, and she’s quite good at picking the weakest link of the chain and pulling on it until it breaks.

“The flying monkeys have been doing a lot of that.” It’s Ruby who carries on her thoughts. “Your mother has been sending word, asking Regina to commandeer ships to come by sea with supplies because their mills and forges are being attacked all around.”

“What’s the next kingdom north?”

“Midas’ land, Draconia.”

“We head there and—Can we follow a monkey?”

“None of us can fly,” Mulan remarks.

“But we can mark coordinates and triangulate directions if we gather enough intel on the raids.” Hook’s a pirate, and besides bad rum and women, what he’s best at is navigation.

Maps.

“We didn’t wait for you, pirate. You were too busy helping Snow and David get Emma and Henry here.” Ruby scoffs, and now she gets why the cold shoulder. “It was Regina’s first plan. And the monkeys are shapeshifters, not animals. They have brains. Their retreats are never the same and very few converge.”

There’s a heavy silence. Emma has no issue with silence, but for now it’s killing the little hope she was beginning to harvest preciously in her chest.

She’s not abandoning Regina. Not a chance.

“We keep north first thing in the morning.” Emma picks up her bowl from beside the log she was sitting on. “If we’re to find any clues, we need to investigate. We need to go to a place that’s of middle size, big enough to trade and have goods that the witch or any army would need, but not big enough that we’ll have to stay too long to figure out some information.”

“Police work?”

“Yep.” She gives Ruby a smile, and she means it. Regina told her to keep to what she knows how to do. It is pretty good advice. “I’ll take first watch.”

 

* * *

 

She does, every night. Take first watch, that is.

She gets to spend time reading Regina’s journals. She puts her nose into them any given chance. She alternates between the rough parts and the comfort ones. The ones where Regina is twenty-something, living in hell, and the ones when she calls her Emma. They’re sad, too, but she tells her a lot about what Emma has missed.

She tells her everything.

They’ve been on the road three and a half days. Her ass hurts so much she doesn’t feel it anymore. She hasn’t had a bath or eaten something other than rabbit stew or roasted pheasant since they left Regina’s palace. At least it’s not chimera.

And she’s whining.

She’s not actually complaining out loud, but she’s grouchy and she feels unworthy. She’s out here, against her will. Regina is imprisoned—hopefully not hurt in any way—by her own design.

What is really annoying Emma beyond measure is that she’s terrified.

She doesn’t know at all if she can find Regina, let alone alive. She’s pretty sure there’s no way she can defeat the Wicked Witch on her own. Regina let herself be captured because she doesn’t think she can do it, either.

Their only chance is together.

She’s sitting against an old oak, and she’s sulking. Ruby has been gone again. She runs, she hunts, she does what she does. She’s always there when Emma’s asleep, though. Wrapped around her with enormous paws, soft fur and deep breaths. She’s got little trouble understanding the comfort Regina has been taking in the wolf. She dislikes that Regina had to need it, but she gets it.

“Do we need to talk?” Oh Ruby’s back.

“Hmm?”

They’re sitting, on different sides of the same tree. Emma hadn’t noticed.

“You look like we do.”

“When did you get like this?” There, she’s whining again.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re so much older than me.”

“I kinda am, Em.”

“Everything has been so fucked since the curse—the first one—got broken.” She pushes some dirt around with the toe of her boot. “I haven’t gotten a chance to breathe and look around myself.”

“But we’ve all had almost two years of knowing who we are and being ourselves again.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s not what’s bothering you though, is it?”

It’s not. Emma’s just not sure what she can say that won’t sound like she’s not okay with it, because it’s none of her business.

“Look, it’s none of my business. I just—she’s my son’s mother.” She shifts positions to look at Ruby, because she’s no savior, but she’s no coward, either. “It’s just she writes to me, you know? Like it means something to her. She calls me Emma, and—you’re sleeping with her.”

Ruby’s chuckling. Thank goodness it’s not pity, she’s just downright laughing at her.

“Right.” She’s offended, like a petulant child.

“Aww, Emma—” Ruby pulls her into a hug that is kind of awkward, at least for her, but she won’t let go. Wolf strength obliges, Emma yields, for now, and gets comfortable in Ruby’s embrace.

“Let me go.”

“No.” Ruby has stopped laughing. She’s not keeping her locked in her arms either. “We’re not sleeping together like that, Emma.”

“She’s pretty forward in her writing style.”

“She would be.” Emma feels the smile because of Ruby’s chin on the crown of her head. “It’s complicated.” There’s a pause, Ruby inhales deeply. “Look, Em, it’s a bit complicated to explain on my part and really not my place to tell you on hers.”

She shouldn’t care what Regina and Ruby are to each other now. It really is none of her business, and whatever they have going on, love and life have more than one single linear dimension.

“We have a profound connection. She’s helped me control the side of me that has been my nightmare, haunting me my whole life. She’s helped me become who I really am and made certain that I will never ever take a life unless I decide to.”

“So you slept with her because you’re grateful?” There’s a swift swat of a fist on her arm. “Ow!”

“Idiot.” Ruby’s hand is rubbing the spot she just hit on Emma’s arm. It doesn’t hurt much. “I’ve slept with her because I love her. Because we’re close with each other, and you know, we wanted it.”

Ruby pauses for a few of her calm heartbeats and her voice is deeper when she goes on.

“Because she’s the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. ”

“Oh—”

Ruby shrugs. “It’s just how I am, Em. I don’t know if she’s the same, but she’s open. Her heart is so vast. She’s wanted freedom all her life, and me—”

“You just are.” Freedom, that is. Ruby Lucas is freedom.

Now it makes sense.

“I am. I think she needed to feel that.”

“She did.” Emma has read it in Regina’s own words, on every page.

Ruby is leaning to her side, looking straight into her eyes. “We thought you ought to be happy back in the other world with Henry, because that’s what was right. Snow and David wanted you back no matter what. But Emma, Regina—she thought that she was never going to see you again. That it was her price to pay.”

That never stops sounding like a death sentence.

“I don’t know what to say.” It hurts and it’s not fair.

Things are starting to make some sort of ironic sense. Regina deserves so much better than what she has received her whole life. Regina deserves Henry. She deserves to be safe and loved and happy. She deserves to be understood and forgiven. It’s so strange to have to reconcile all the harm that Regina has brought others, but that she really never created. All the harm that has befallen her. Pretty much from birth. Just like Emma herself.

Her head is spinning because if she follows the line of who is to blame—it’s like it never ends. It won’t get her anywhere. It won’t give any peace to anyone. There’s always more blood, more hatred, more destruction.

“Just understand. She’s not in love with me, Em. I am certain she cares for me a great deal, and she loves me just as much as I love her. She’s shown me and told me that much, but she’s not in love with me.”

“‘kay.” She takes a deep breath.

“And it’s good that way.”

“It is?”

“Yes.” Ruby pulls her back against her in a tighter hug before standing from behind her against the oak tree. “I’ll leave you be with your reading. Sounds like she’s a juicy writer.”

“Hey!”

Ruby smiles as she motions to leave. Emma smiles back.

“She’s been keeping an eye on you your whole life, did you know that?”

Ruby turns back around. “I’m not sure I understand.”

“Remember the wolfsbane potions and all that gold? And when you got your cloak? Or when Granny got pneumonia that really bad winter?”

“Yeah, I remember.” There’s a heaviness of memories that aren’t fond but meaningful all the same darkening Ruby’s eyes further than the night already does.

“She really does love you.”

“It was her?”

“All along.”

“So when I met Snow?”

“I am not there yet.” Emma has no doubt, though. Regina would have never hurt Ruby.

The more she reads, the more she knows. Regina would have never hurt Snow either.

As for Leopold. Were she in Regina’s place, Emma would have closed her jaw on his dick in her mouth and ripped it right off with her teeth before wrapping her hands around his throat to help him quietly choke to death if he didn’t bleed out fast enough.

She’s seen it with her eyes open. Riding Bug. Lying down at night. Drinking tea. She can almost taste the blood in her mouth thinking it. It doesn’t make her blink or feel anything else but regret that she doesn’t have a time machine.

She doesn’t know how yet, but for all the evil Regina was slowly being coaxed and groomed into, Emma doesn’t have a doubt she herself would have killed, embraced the darkness, kissed the power of her magic open-mouthed, fingers diving in tender flesh, heart-ripping.

Much sooner.

She empathizes, understands intrinsically the intensity of the dissociation Regina had to go through to survive. She knows the insanity, the silence and incommensurable solitude of being so completely annihilated. She knows that pain turns darkness and volatility into pure, hot rage and violence. The taste of it. Swallowing power. Enabling you to feel like you have control of your own life, even just once. No one ever stops at once.

She didn’t. The release felt too good.

What she sees, with each word, each drawing, each fact related in courage and dignity—just barely allowing herself to actually say how she feels—what she sees, what she sees indeed, is the most beautiful woman she has ever met.

They spoiled her. They robbed her. They abused her. From the woman who gave birth to her, the man who could never protect her despite all his love for her, the child who so selfishly sealed her doom, the husband she was sold to, to the monster who designed her into the finest, most exquisite weapon.

They should have called her Regina the Damned Queen, not the Evil Queen.

Ruby has kneeled in front of her.

“We have to find her, Emma.” She shakes her head. “We have to.”

“I know.” She does. She’s not going to pretend she can’t relate and it’s not affecting her, because it is and she can feel the anger rise all over again.

Emma hasn’t felt this kind of fucked up and ready to explode since she was maybe fourteen or fifteen years old. Thing is, today, she’s almost thirty-two, she’s got a sword, a dagger and a one-handed automatic crossbow, a werewolf, a warrior princess and a pirate with a hook.

She refuses to think about Snow. She refuses to think about what that’s going to be like when they meet again.

She hasn’t felt this kind of fucked up, ever.

 

* * *

 

It’s Mulan who interrupts them. She comes bearing tea.

According to her, another half a day’s ride and they’ll reach Traverse Town, in Midas’ Kingdom. It’s a traveller’s town between White Kingdom and Draconia. The road there bifurcates. Inland, it heads towards a chain of mountains where the Winterlands cities and the capital are nestled in the Highlands before the natural barrier forms the frontier to Tianxia, Mulan’s homeland. The Tianxia Empire is kind of bigger than actual China. It’s probably as big as China with Thailand and Bhutan put together. The variety of climates and geography makes it rich and pretty self-sufficient. A very well designed autocracy. The clans don’t mix much, Mulan has explained, leaving the Empire is usually a matter of commerce, studies, imperial mandate or banishment.

Emma doesn’t dare ask. It’s asking someone who’s in jail what they’re in for. Last time she had seen her, Mulan was protecting Aurora after she had actually just helped Philip wake the Princess from Maleficent’s sleeping curse. Emma still feels kind of bad that Philip had to spend any sort of time literally stuck in a black hole and anything else wraith-related. Mulan had given her word of honor she would protect Aurora and, next thing Emma knows, Aurora’s pregnant, living happily ever after with her Prince, while Mulan has this lonesome cowboy kinda vibe going on and hangs out at Regina’s and never, ever mentions Aurora or Philip in any way.

She hasn’t asked and she’s not there yet in Regina’s journal. She’s curious, but she gets the feeling she’s intruding enough. They all know what it is she’s reading—well, except for Hook, but even he will work it out when he stops staring at Emma’s ass long enough.

Once they’re in Traverse Town, she hopes they can get the information they need on where the latest raid happened and what was taken. Maybe they can find intermediaries for the Wicked Witch’s buyers, too, in case the whole following of stolen goods plan doesn’t pan out. Maybe she can find clues as to who is helping the Wicked Witch. There are always those who think they can profit from whoever is the strongest.

Cowards like to be on the winning side.

“Drink your tea. Tomorrow, we make progress.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

They’re quiet for a while. Emma sips her tea. It’s sweet and really nice, actually.

“We’ll find Regina.”

“You saying that to cheer me up?” Emma chuckles. Mulan is so—she’s fortitude. It must be exhausting.

“I believe in you.”

“Come on, you’ve spent most the time you’ve known me saving my sorry ass from everything hidden under the rocks in this place.”

“I have.” Mulan drinks her tea. “I also watched you and all of your stubborn determination find your way back to your world, to your son, and his mother.”

Touché.

“I almost got you killed.”

“Don’t do it again.” Mulan looks at her then. “I made the mistake of not believing in you once, and I almost got all of us killed.”

“Don’t do it again.” Emma stands. “Thanks for the tea.”

“Good night, Emma.” Mulan nods, her gaze settling on the end of the clearing they set camp in.

She makes her way to the second campfire, where Hook is snoring a little, covered up in ridiculous leather and blankets. She finds her own cot, with her blankets and lining.

Damn Mulan and her honorable, faithful heart. She’s got to make sure she doesn’t get them all killed.

She settles down, kicking off her boots, removing her jacket. She loosens her shirt, enough to take her bra off and reapply some of Marika’s amazing bug repellant cream.

It’s not cold, just a little damp. The air is not too heavy, but it’s not full on summer just yet. Still June. And when you’re riding all day, dead on your feet—or your ass—it gets cold. She unfastens her pants, too. She won’t make the mistake of keeping them tight again. She’s just not comfortable shrugging them off.

Emma keeps her jacket close. She gets out the book. She’s getting used to reading by the moonlight and the firelight. They have candles, but she doesn’t want to use them. There’s a crystal she found in Regina’s room, she wants to try to infuse it with the magic she’s been itching to use—all Frodo Baggins in Lord of the Rings with the Phial of Galadriel—but Regina told her not to let it out.

Her furry shield appears, gentle but heavy paws on the ground, dropping with a soft thud next to her. Red lies between her and Hook. She makes herself comfortable against Emma. She’s so big. And comfy. She makes a great support for sitting back into with her soft belly and solid built.

“You smell like you got wet.”

There’s a low growl, or some sort of chuckle; she doesn’t speak wolf all that good just yet.

“You totally found a creek or something!” She bumps into Red a little, who’s trying very hard to keep her eyes closed. “You know what I’d give for a bath?”

Red lifts her head and sniffs at Emma, then shakes her head with a snort.

“Why don’t you tell me I smell while you’re at it?” She settles herself back against Ruby’s big head and muzzle, her neck bent enough to reach Emma’s lap.

“If you think I’m gonna pet you or something.” A small whine comes out of Red and she swears the wolf is giving her the puppy look, tilting her head.

She opens Regina’s journal, finding the most recent entry she left at the night before.

Her fingers are threading through Red’s fur before she realizes what she’s doing and she’s playing with the wolf’s ear.

_‘The 4th day of Half Moon during the 3rd Moon of Winter of the 6032th Lunar Cycle,_  
_162nd day of my curse, White Castle_

_Emma,_

_Today is the first day of the Lanterns & Fire Festival. The celebrations last for a week around the Spring Equinox. All the realms celebrate it, even the Magic Folks of Brocéliande are sometimes seen crossing on Man Land to observe the festivities._

_The most famous manifestation of the festival, and my favorite—although I never got to participate in it—is the release of all the sky lanterns in Corona. When I was Queen here in White Castle, the lanterns were lit to symbolize the hope for the return of the Princess Rapunzel of Corona who had been missing since. You could see them from the shore if the night was clear enough, and they drifted, swirled around by the winds. They were always a solace, a symbol of freedom._

_How I wished I could fly away and never touch foot on the mortal ground ever again._

_Your father recently rescued Rapunzel from a tower in Brocéliande, and the Festival is the perfect way to celebrate. Naturally all royalty in the Land has been conveyed to royal allegria._

_This year, the lanterns will be released to the skies in Corona and in White Castle, in honor of your father. Your mother, in her ever so annoying desire to have her people love me anew, has asked me to conjure a fire and lights spectacle to amuse her guests and the peasants._

_I couldn’t very well refuse, and Red has been itching to visit. It is rare for us to have Snow as a topic of conversation. Rather, we discussed it at length in the first few weeks of this attempt at friendship she’s insisted on. I think we’ve reached an understanding._

_They are sisters. They always were. You should have seen the look in Snow’s eyes. Red was sheepish when she ran off to the gardens with her on the day we arrived. Another thing your mother took away from me, with the most easy of ignorance and innocence. I had been Red’s shadow for half her life, giving her the most peaceful childhood she could hope to have or that I knew how to give. Yet a week with your mother and she killed her first love._

_She doesn’t know. Maybe far away in the memory of the beast, she remembers our encounters. The binding spells I loathed so terribly but inflicted on her so she wouldn’t kill when the wolfsbane potions didn’t slow her changings anymore. I don’t know if I should wish for you to see her one day, explode out of her own skin into such a magnificent animal under the moonlight._

_Even then, and she was just a girl still, Red was a majestic wolf. Not all Children of the Moon are who she is. Maybe she knew me then, until the cloak._

_I’m not her… I don’t own her. I’ve certainly made it clear she’s allowed to do what she wants. Maybe it’s a pack thing, she is fiercely protective of me after all._

_Would you be cross with me, Emma? I made a friend of your mother’s best friend. My captain of the Royal Guard. My lover._

_My secret._

_Yes, yes, Miss Swan, she should know. She will. Don’t be like Granny, giving me looks. I don’t need any moralists around me. With looks or declarations._

_I doubt your mother knows about it. Granny does. She gave me a look one morning. A look of ‘if you hurt her so help me I will kill you with my bare hands.’ I thought for a moment she was about to ready her crossbow._

_I lit all the lanterns at once and swirled them in the sky, choreographed a display of fireworks and threw a couple fireballs for the children. Nothing overboard. Your father was fidgeting like a brat, half-terrified, half-meaning to restrain himself from his wonder at the fireworks._

_You seem to be his more than you are hers. I suppose that’s a relief._

_The party is still going. I retired for the night, but not before I had the most interesting conversation with Reul Ghorm._

_Curse that fucking fairy._

_She’s the one helping them. She’s the one conspiring with your idiots, with your pirate, or so he claims to be. I thought they had found an artefact, maybe with help from Belle French. The bookworm is resourceful, and she knows much about Rumpelstiltskin and his lair._

_It’s worse than that. It’s completely irresponsible, but what is new? They’re not breaking the curse, Emma, they’re enchanting the Jolly Roger for her to be able to cross realms. To align with portals, I can only assume, in and out of any world. There are portals in this world, one needs to be able to find them, but there are some. Starting with the ones in the Forbidden Sea._

_They need ingredients, it’s going to take time. The Blue Fairy… her work will reside with your memories. Your mother asked me again, will I make a potion? I won’t. It matters not that I can._

_But Emma, what if Reul Ghorm makes a mistake? What if her plan to jog your memories isn’t safe? And what about the curse?_

_They have no idea what could break it save for True Love’s Kiss and I don’t see how—it’s my price to pay, no one should take a chance with your life, with Henry’s. What if only he and I can break this curse?_

_Could I kiss the forehead of my baby boy and hold him to my heart again?_

_Magic doesn’t forgive. Curses don’t have mercy. They tempt me, relentlessly. Bringing you to this world, saving us all, seeing you again. Being with our son. You don’t belong here. This world isn’t yours. This price isn’t yours._

_And it is not safe. Not for Henry, not for you. You could never be happy in the Land of Fairytales. If they manage to get you here as you are, we still don’t have the first idea what this Wicked Witch wants, or how to defeat her._

_What is she thinking? Blue is much older than any of us. She’s seen the destruction meddling with dark curses brings. I believe she cast more than her share of curses in all her time. Wishing upon fairy dust isn’t as innocent as your children’s books make it seem._

_I fear for you. They tempt me with my longing. In my despair._

_I want to kill them. I want to snap their pretty little necks like the nuisance they are._

_I want to smell the scent of his hair when he wakes up in the morning and forgets he thinks he’s too grown for hugs. Do you remember how much I love him?_

_Do you enjoy being able to cook or make a sensible wardrobe choice for him? I thought of it all for hours. I wasn’t sure what would stick to your thick skull. Do you remember my lasagna recipe? You liked it enough back in Storybrooke._

_That is undeniably something Henry gets from you. You both could be willingly led to the end of the world by your stomachs. No need for subjugation or violent means._

_To see him, to hold him, to be warmed by his smile._

_Have they no shame? Have they no understanding of cruelty, bathing in their goodness?_

_To see you. Mother of my child. My defeat._

_R.’_


	3. Unsoundness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma and her friends make their way to Traverse Town, hopeful of getting information that will lead them to Regina. They're not so lucky and very soon get themselves into a rough patch only to be rescued by an unexpected party. Emma's heart keeps breaking as she reads the Queen's entry, watching Regina spiral toward darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ **Setting** | Events in this chapter begin on day 15 after Regina’s abduction.For indication in the Queen’s entry, Regina is 27, Snow is 21 and Red is still 16.]
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‘The day of Full Moon during the 3rd Moon of Spring of the 5994th Lunar Cycle,  
White Castle.

_It’s done._

_He’s dead. I killed him._

_I killed him._

_I expected to feel much better. He got what he deserved. They can whisper in the corridors. They can cry, mourn their beloved King._

_I wanted to kill him with my bare hands. The vipers were too kind a death. He looked in pain when I saw his dead mask. He looked in agony._

_Why doesn’t it feel better? I’m relieved. Justice is served. I should be jubilating._

_I am free._

_Maybe it’s because she didn’t die. They will all pay for the consequences of their vile, selfish deeds. Mother, the King, Snow White. Rumplestiltskin, the liar who thinks I don’t know he wants something of me. Let him want, and teach me. I will rule, yes. I will take all of what is theirs._

_I will make it more._

_I will show men what a powerful Queen can do to their frail and manly leadership. I will move the court to the White Summer Palace. I don’t want to set foot in White Castle ever again. I can be the Queen Regent, as long as she never marries. She should be grateful that I won’t sell her to a rich prince for some land and riches._

_She should be grateful I haven’t killed her. I had it all set up. They were going to die together. A terrible accident, wiping his blood-line of the surface of our world. How poetic._

_She will have to know. I will make certain. She will have to know I could have killed her. I killed her father. I want her to know she lives to learn the consequences of her actions._

_Because she had Daniel killed. Because she has innocent blood on her hands. Pure, precious Snow White. I shall ruin her. I shall make her feel the bite of that cold and cruel life forced upon me to satisfy her needs._

_Poor little princess needed a mommy._

_No, she won’t die. Not because I can’t kill her. Not because I love her._

_Blind little princess. Blind and careless with all her misguided affections. Selfish, selfish child._

_She will be my prisoner. My doll to do with as I please, like she dictated my life torn from me. Little abomination, with her fair skin, her green eyes, her raven-like hair. Maybe someday I’ll leave her out for the ravens. As she sacrificed me to the vultures._

_It was ten Lunar Cycles ago. Still she calls me Stepmother. I hear her call me under her breath. Mother. Still she hasn’t the faintest idea, or she closes her eyes and shuts her ears. So Mother can do her hair one more time. So Mother can teach her how to dance. So Mother can hold her when she’s with fever._

_How she ran to my arms when she was told. She saw him. She has no one left but me._  
_I will not be her mother anymore. I am the most powerful witch in all the realms. They have no idea. I am the Queen._

_You live, Snow White. It is not because I love you.’_

“Regina…”

Emma’s sorrow feels heavy. It’s a gray morning, having rained all night. They found shelter in the entry of a cave close to a small watering hole frequented by many forest animals come to drink to. They had boar from the previous day.

She puts the journals away in her jacket. She packs her things. Witnessing Regina’s spiraling tastes like bile in her mouth.

So that’s the moment Regina lost herself. Killing your rapist. It has a certain appeal, she can’t deny it. She thinks maybe there’s solace in Regina’s hatred of Snow White, because really she couldn’t go through with it. Regina couldn’t kill her. No matter how much she says she wanted to. No matter how much suffering she unleashed.

The Queen couldn’t kill Snow White. Regina loved her. Hatred so stubborn, it’s a lot of things, it’s also love. All this rage, all the destruction. It all got out of hand when she took the King’s life.

What Emma can’t accept is how these people can lie to themselves so much. Her mother included. Her mother first. To be so blinded to all the pain that must have been splattered at her feet.

Emma’s brooding. She doesn’t like what she’s reading happened to Regina. It’s not she who is evil, it’s what’s happened to her. She can’t do shit about it because it already happened. Why wasn’t Marika’s help enough? Why didn’t Regina run for her life when she managed to have enough power?

Not taking Tinkerbell up on the stupid fairy dust prediction, being the lonely young woman she was—Emma more than gets that. How fucking naïve of Tink to even think the Regina she was back then could step into that stupid tavern and just fall head over heels for a guy so that all her problems would be solved by magic. Or to want her to believe that fate exists to begin with? Regina knows better.

No, and it has Emma shaking her head. Waiting for the right moment to act, she can get that. Hell, killing the bastard she can get, too. Why stay?

Then again, where could she have gone?

Regina never wanted power. Regina never wanted to rule. She wanted to be with Daniel, ride her horse in the forest, and be accepted for who she was. She wanted to be happy and loving. She wanted to be free. She lost everything, over and over again.

So much pain. No more hope.

Is that how you become an angel of death?  


* * *

  
“You seem troubled, Emma.”

“Huh?”

Mulan’s voice is calm, grounding. “You haven’t said a word all morning. We’ll be in Traverse Town by midday and I haven’t heard you complain about your behind once.”

“Yeah. That’s because my ass hurts so much it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

Mulan smiles a gentle smile. Mulan is a patient yet impetuous woman. It’s an interesting combination. Being so still yet so alive.

“You need to relax a little, go with the flow of your horse’s movement. Your posture is already much improved. You’ve listened.”

“Your Tai Chi moves aren’t helping so far.”

“What is Tai Chi?”

“A martial art on Earth.” She contorts in her saddle. “All about controlling your anger and emotions to stretch and do soft style movements using your opponent’s strength and such.”

“People in Tianxia practice that sort of exercise a lot, it’s good for the body. It helps avoid pains following hard physical exertion. It’s good for the mind, too.”

“It’s like riding Bug, I need to get used to it.”

She pats the neck of the horse whose ears are always pricked and seems so good-hearted. He makes her feel safe despite being as inexperienced as she is.

“Regina trained him herself for you.”

“She did?”

“She chose him for you because of his coat. He reminds her of you.”

“He’s kind of the same color as my car. Which is funny because she hates that car. I call it Bug, too.”

“The Queen told me about your cars on Earth. She didn’t say she hated yours.”

“She prepared all these things—she trained a horse for me?”

“Yes, we found him one day we were riding together. He was alone and looked pretty sad. He’s been boarding with Khan since.”

“So you and Regina are riding partners?”

Reading the journals, Emma is starting to get a sense of who the friends in Regina’s life are, and why they are. Regina is the queen again, it can’t be that simple to up and declare yourself friend of the former Evil Queen. She knows Mulan, even if they did butt heads. She can see what Regina would like about Mulan. And vice versa.

“I suppose we are. She says what she means, she knows how to make decisions.”

“You mean she’s not weak?” Some things are changing in Regina, some others remain the same.

“That, too.” Mulan’s look is warm, but firm. Proud. “Regina is my friend, she’s earned my trust and respect, as much as I earned hers.”

“I’m reading her journals.”

Mulan nods. Emma doesn’t want to share Regina’s business. She needs to focus and all she can think about is Regina’s spiraling to her darkest hour. She knows they’re Regina’s memories, subjective memories, but it doesn’t make what she’s gone through, and how it feels to her, less real. Conflict.

It’s hard navigating the tumultuous emotions of the young woman, Queen despite herself, powerful and so very paradoxical.

Regina is tempestuous at best. Cunning, smart and clever, but also impulsive, rash. So overcome by her emotions. It’s like she’s being skinned alive. She bleeds and bleeds, flaunted. It’s breaking Emma’s heart. Regina is starting to make sense, a lot of sense. She didn’t expect black and white—she knows better—but there’s something else, underneath all of it, an unsoundness that is simply too foreign, even if Regina is somewhat in denial at times. Emma can’t shake the feeling that there’s something more she isn’t grasping.

“She had so much rage. What was done to her—it’s like I’m watching her descend into the worst of who she has been, but isn’t anymore.” Emma hesitates. “I know her. I know who she is.”

“But you didn’t know her circumstances.”

“Not like that, no. And not just hers.”

“Good people do bad things, Emma.”

“I know that. Of all the people I’ve seen in Regina’s life, I’ve probably been the one who never expects her to be the Evil Queen. Although she seems to have turned a new leaf here.”  
__  
Emma wasn’t part of that. She’s jealous and it’s sort of strange. She never managed to have that influence on Regina. Not directly. People change when they want to change. Maybe the change in Regina started a while back. Maybe she’d triggered that, but not motivated it, no.

Henry, maybe even Neverland, with Snow and David’s one-eighty, Regina herself, Daniel telling her to love again. Regina didn’t explain much of the circumstances when Daniel did tell her to move on, except that it happened in Storybrooke while Emma and Mary Margaret were in the Land of Fairytales. That’s got to be the hardest thing for Regina to do. Move on.

Daniel was Regina’s first love. Was he her first ever True Love? Regina certainly believed so. All this fairytale bullshit pisses her off more often than not, but Emma is strikingly aware how fucked up it must have been for Regina—a girl still, not much older than herself when Neal left her to take the fall for him—watching her mother kill her first love and then having to do it herself, decades later, to release him from the suffering of his mortal body.

How do you move on from that and open yourself to love again? Regina must be so scared, so vulnerable. Emma doesn’t trust in love either. She’s respectful of Regina’s inner growth, and all the changes she’s motivated for herself.

Regina is suddenly good again in everybody’s eyes. Thankfully some people truly understand that Regina was never not good. Emma misses that she missed it. It’s kind of stupid, but she misses that chance she could have had to be Regina’s friend all along.

Because she messed up. Because she’s messed up.

“I kept pushing her. I took Henry. I sided with my parents against her because I was scared.”

“You come with your own circumstances. You both share responsibilities for what happened between you. She has grown, and if you are here, doing what’s honorable, then so have you.”

“She sacrificed everything she holds dear for me to have a good life. And maybe it wasn’t all that real, but it felt the closest to being stable and having a family I have ever been.”

“Guilt won’t help you, Emma Swan.”

“It’s not efficient?”

“Indeed.”

Emma chuckles. Because, really, these two must be thick as thieves. Emma wants friends, too. She wants part of their rebellion, part of their pack, part of their home.

She wants part of Regina’s life.  


* * *

  
Traverse Town has a big market square for a mid-sized town. Emma’s drawn her hood, the sky is grey anyway. The docks are not far, going down the hill after they leave the Northern Road leading to the bridge. They’ve had to cross the main part of the city to reach them.

“They seem quite busy for people who have been suffering raids.”

“This town sees a lot of passage, and its share of fights.” Mulan leads the way and jumps off her horse.

“So how do you want to do this, Em?”

“We need supplies for the road, so that’s a good cover to ask questions. We should go shopping, maybe ask for news, to be safe, you know?”

They’re all standing in a circle, their horses behind them, on one side of the road.

“Aye, you do that. I’ll find a drink.”

“Why don’t you take the horses to the Inn, Hook, and make yourself useful for once?” Ruby couldn’t sound grouchier if she tried.

“It’s not my fault Innkeepers like to share their gossip over good whiskey, lass. You can’t blame a pirate for all the wrong doings of men.”

“Hook, shut up,” Emma says. He’s not wrong. On both counts. A drink can get you more information than you pay for, or trouble.

Hook’s curtsy has Ruby roll her eyes but they quit their arguing and that’s all Emma’s interested in. She takes a couple of steps away from Hook and hands him Bug’s reins. She motions for Ruby to follow her.

“I swear I’m going to dismember that idiot. I won’t even eat him.”

“Not just yet. He has his uses.”

“Like drinking with the Innkeeper?”

“That’s what you do when you’re a bullshit artist.” And a con.

“Point taken.”

“What you do best is not in this town.”

“You want me to go sniff around?” Ruby smirks. “When did you become so good at politics, Emma Swan?”

“Working for corporate clients and maintaining a better quality of life for Henry helped, especially since I didn’t travel as much anymore.”

“Fine. I’ll go for a stroll around the city, see what I can pick up. I’ll meet you back at the Inn you choose before sundown.”

“Be safe, okay?”

“You too, Em.”

She turns around to see that Hook has left. There is a good amount of foot traffic around the central market place. Mulan is waiting for her on the side of the paved road, not far from where she left her.

“Where did Hook go?”

“To station the horses at the Inn over there.” She looks in the direction of a bigger looking house with what must be a barn next to it. “But he’ll go for a drink on the docks.”

“Yeah, well let’s hope he can fish something.” Emma retrieves one of the two bags Mulan is carrying.

“He’ll meet us at the Inn before sundown.”

“Ruby, too. She went to check out the city surroundings.”

Traverse Town is bigger than Emma expected. Still has a Middle Age kind of feel, but she didn’t expect paved roads. More like mud and dirt. It doesn’t smell that good, and she didn’t notice any sewer system. There’s a central fountain and pumps at key locations, so either they have wells all around or there’s a form of pipe system to carry fresh water. The marketplace has some permanent traders with actual booths. It’s a big square with aisles, very much like on Earth.

She’s no history or literature expert but this is Draconia, the land of King Midas whose hand turns anything he touches into gold. Emma knows white privileged middle class when she sees it. Money smells the same, no matter the world.

These parts look a lot better than what she’d seen the previous time around.

Last time, all she saw was ruins. And woods. And ogres.  


* * *

  
They don’t gather much interesting information, apart from what they all expected to hear. The average raiding, once every couple of weeks, flying monkeys and masked bandits. An increase in missing people, and a genuine fear of what’s coming next. Despite detaching more men to protect the town, Midas’ local garrison hasn’t been able to prevent the lootings from becoming a regular occurrence. There are fewer smugglers in town, but a lot of ships pillaged along the coasts on both sides of the land.

Mulan checked on the horses, both Hook and Ruby returned unharmed, but rather empty-handed. Frustration is the word none of them voices, but is on everyone’s mind. They have a quiet dinner. They each share the details of their findings and what they think they could try next.

Emma is dejected, but if she’s honest with herself, she didn’t expect things to be that easy.

“Would you keep close to the lands you’d raid if you were trying to stay hidden?”

“It can go both ways, Em. Keep your enemies close.”

“Well, it can’t be too remote if they’re raising an army.”

“I agree. They might not be in the deep south, but their camp must be east.”

“Do you think they’re in Brocéliande?” Hook asks Ruby directly.

She looks at him but no jab comes. He must have asked a smart question.

“It was Regina’s conclusion at first. We looked. I ran, Robin and his men organized expeditions. Regina reached out to the magic folk.”

Ruby takes a swallow of a nice honeymead that she must be used to, but is kind of making Emma feel warm and a little less sore. Very rooted back in her chair.

“We had to explore other venues, the Witch’s army is not in Brocéliande. However, we all agree that they’re in the Enchanted Forest, here on the Mainland.”

“You think one of the kingdoms is harboring them?”

“That is our thinking, yes.” It’s Mulan who picks up the explanation. “We ruled out Mathab, and considering Prince Lancelot and Queen Guenièvre’s friendship with Snow White, we also ruled out Britannia.”

“King Midas isn’t exactly a morally-rounded lad,” Hook adds.

“Maybe not, but he’s an old man now, twenty eight years on all of us. Abigail sends regular reports, she’s had riders search across all the North.”

“So what does that leave us with? And how do we know she’s on the Mainland?”

Emma is a little lost on all the geography, even if Mulan has spread out a map on their table to show her. At least they’re looking like real travellers.

“Well,” Mulan shows her a big island on the right side of the map in front of her, “this is Yönder-”

“That’s where Aurora is from.” Red supplies that and also press her finger to a smaller part east of where they are now, pretty much on the other side of the land, “and that’s Verdania, where Philip is from.”

“Ariel and Eric, who is the Prince and Heir of the Archipelago of Nacre, here, have visited Yönder and sailed around in patterns to make sure, and also to catch any ships to the witch’s colors, or pirates.”

“I wouldn’t think they’ve had much luck with that,” Hook chuckles.

“Unfortunately,” Ruby glares at him before a much gentler gaze falls on her, “Hook is right. So far we’ve only been able to proceed by elimination.”

“Discerning who is friend or foe is not as simple as it seems,” Mulan says. “Some realms, like Tianxia, are simply not communicating. Forming diplomatic bonds, rallying kingdoms to the Alliance has been as laborious as finding the Witch’s lair.”

“It’s been taking too long, is what she means. And now Regina is in danger.”

“Well, Swan is here, so the Queen isn’t our only asset against the Witch.” If Emma didn’t know better she’d think he’s satisfied with the result. His smugness is probably only about her being here because of him, though.

“She’s much more qualified than me at all of this.” Her tone is final.

She’s not going to save them. This isn’t Storybrooke with some written prophecy lying around in a book to tell her that she’s the Savior. She’s not doing this without Regina, if she’s even doing this at all. She might just let this alliance deal with their problem once she’s found Regina. She’s here now, she has to protect Henry, and their family.

She didn’t re-enlist for any world-saving.  


* * *

  
There are two tubs filled with hot water, one for scrubbing, one for soaking. The hot water feels so good she was almost too eager washing herself. Her skin is all fiery red but she doesn’t mind the lobster effect. She’s soaking, now, reading more of Regina’s entries.

She’s reading the more recent ones. It’s not that they’re easier than the Queen’s entries, they still hurt. Regina is always suffering, one way or another. Emma likes how open she is with her, even knowing the possibility that she might stumble back into her life with Henry in tow. Maybe she didn’t intend for her to read them at first, but you don’t address your journals to someone if you don’t want to talk to them somehow, or imagine they might read your words one day.

Well, maybe you do. She doesn’t know so well, she never kept any journals. She feels closer to the Regina she knows. She thinks maybe this time around, she can do something about her happiness. That’s if she gets her back alive.

That, and all the things that need addressing. With Regina, with her parents, too. It’s not like she can go on as if she hasn’t read anything about the life they had, all these years ago. All the selfishness and the shattered innocence. She’s beginning to understand the feud between Snow White and Regina, why it’s so deeply rooted in Regina’s heart, but not why her mother is oblivious to any of it.

Is Snow in denial?

Emma is careful not to put any water on the pages, her knees are up so she can immerse herself fully. She breathes and closes her eyes for a while, picturing the rides in the forest, the trees and roses in the orchard and the gardens, the scents and sounds Regina describes. She hears her voice, deep and warm, speaking the words as she writes them.

“Emma! There’s trouble, we’ve got to get out of here.”

Ruby comes bursting through the door like it was not at all heavy, made of wood and locked with what looks like serious smithery. She almost drops the journals in the bath water. It pisses her off even more than being intruded upon. Or in trouble. Again.

“What the fuck now?”

“Hook.”

She rolls her eyes, trying to dry herself while Ruby is handing her the clean clothes she brought with her.

“Of course.” She’s jumping on one leg, attempting to slip the other in her pants. She’s already hidden the journals back in her jacket pocket. “How many?”

“A dozen inside. Probably more outside.” Ruby’s eyes are glowing with moonlight again. It’s pretty dark out, if not for lit torches and lanterns here and there.

“Don’t turn into a wolf in here. It’ll give us away.”

“I know,” Ruby huffs. “It might save our asses, though. They’re not playing around. Mulan’s killed a couple already. I had to knock out three more to get to you.”

She finally manages to pull up her pants. “What do they want? Can’t we reason with them?”

“You can give us your valuables for starters.”

There’s two of them. Bandits of some sorts. They look naval, with their vests and one of them has a belt made of cord tied with a knot that leaves no doubt he’s some sort of sailor. That and the general scent of rum drifting off of them and contrasting pretty strongly with the clean and fresh scent of her bath salts.

“Come on, love, we don’t have all night.” He gives her a dirty smile filled with yellow teeth.

“I don’t think so.” Ruby’s voice doesn’t leave any room for negotiation on what is coming next.

“Come on, gentlemen, I’m sure we can talk about this like proper pirates.” Hook’s smirk isn’t as big as usual, until he looks at her. “Nice.” He makes a wrist gesture to her chest, “not how I wanted to see them the first time, but—”

There’s a swoosh of air then Hook is sprawled on the floor, his nose bleeding pretty profusely. Laughter fills her ears, the robbers are appreciating the scene.

“Ow! Really now? Aren’t we supposed to fight the nasty pirates who want to dispossess us of our things?”

“You’re a pig.”

“That he is, and a cheat.”

“And you are?” Emma has managed to cover her chest with a shirt now, and she’s put her jacket on.

“An old acquaintance.” The new man entering the bathroom is tall, white as a sheet with a nasty scar going from his forehead through his left eye and down his cheekbone. “You owe me money, Jones.”

“Do I? I can’t seem to remember. It must have been a long time ago.”

“Thirty-two years, thanks to that cursed witch, but it’s never too late to pay up your debts.”

“Yeah, still more charming and handsomer than you, Sliced.”

Emma snorts loud enough to get everybody’s attention. “Really? Sliced?”

“Got a problem with my name, darlin’?”

“No, really it’s a cool name.” She ties up her pants for the sake of it. “So, how much do you want?”

“Oh no, little girl, you see now, your Tianxian friend and your pretty boy here, they went through half a dozen of my men.”

There’s a loud shriek which turns into a scream before a dull thud is heard and someone rushes up the stairs.

“I guess that’s one more, by the sound of it.”

Mulan has her sword out by the door. The scene looks pretty absurd, Sliced and his two brutes, Ruby standing by her side deeper in the room, Hook on his ass against the wall in between Mulan and them.

There’s another door and a window behind her, leading to a balcony and some back stairs, down to a laundry line and some sort of archaic lavatory before the two stalls of outdoors toilets. They’re only on the second floor.

“We outnumber you right now.”

“You sure ‘bout that, darlin’?” He takes a step towards her.

Automatically she steps back, only to press into Ruby’s immovable shape. She gives a quick look over her shoulder. There’s a man with a knife. He’s pushed the window open and is standing on the balcony. He seems to have back-up with him.

“Hook is a sneaky, slimy bastard, we didn’t come unprepared.”

“All right, I can see that.” Mulan is fixing her with cautious eyes, checking on Sliced’ hands at regular intervals. “How about we compensate you for the debt owed and all the trouble you had to go through, then we can all move on with our lives.”

“I’m afraid that’s not how it works, darlin’.”

She’s getting tired of him calling her darlin’. Ruby is shaking behind her, visibly fighting her urges to just explode and ram teeth first into their assailants. She can see Hook has more than gathered his wits since Ruby knocked him down. Mulan can get Yellow Teeth right away, they’re pretty much facing each other. Emma has none of her weapons and she feels very dumb for leaving them back in the room she was going to share with Ruby.

She considers jumping at the idiot in the window so they can free a path through the back stairs and then make a run for it, but she’s not prepared to abandon their supplies to these thugs.

“Sliced, we gotta get a move on.” Yellow Teeth is antsy.

“Come on, darlin’, you and your little mates are coming with us.”

Another two men climb the stairs and relieve Mulan of her sword.

“You two, go get their stuff from their rooms.”

He calls to the other two men on the balcony and soon they’re all down in the main hall of the Inn. Emma is carrying her dirty clothes and shoes from the bathroom.

This is not looking good at all.

“Anytime now, Em.” Ruby is grinding her teeth loud enough to give her goosebumps.

Ruby wants to change and get them out of this mess as far as Emma can tell. What surprises her is that she’s waiting on her signal. Letting Red out is emergency measure, and never if they know they’ll leave witnesses. That’s what they decided together.

These guys want to take them somewhere. She’s willing to bet that the somewhere in question is isolated enough to kill a few people without giving yourself away.

“Not yet.” She mumbles it under her breath.

But soon.

They’re led outside, other men waiting for them there. Nobody ties their hands, but she feels the threat of a crossbow next to her is dissuasive enough.

“We’ll take good care of you ladies back on our ship. After Hook pays a visit to the bottom of the sea.”

“I think not.” The voice is loud and definitely feminine.

Suddenly an arrow is lodged right between Crossbow’s eyes and the klinks of blades meeting each other are heard all at once. Men in dark clothing are surrounding them, disabling the rest of their pirate assailants.

Sliced slowly falls down to his knees, then face first in the dirt. It seems Hook’s dagger found its way between his ribs. The men are not lowering their weapons.

“Draconian soldiers.” Mulan is to her left. “We do not wish to make any trouble, we were attacked by these men at the Inn,” she says louder toward their leader.

“Yes, and now you will come with us.” The feminine voice is muffled yet authoritative.

“We can’t kill soldiers.” Mulan says it loud enough for Emma to hear, but she gets the feeling that she’s addressing Ruby.

“Gather their things.” The soldiers’ leader hands a purse of what must be gold to a man who enters the Inn swiftly. Then she throws another one to Yellow Teeth, who has been smart enough not to fight. “This should make up for your losses, and the debt due.”

“I haven’t counted yet.”

“Take it and go, before I change my mind.”

Yellow Teeth only hesitates long enough to not lose face in front of the pirates still standing. They pick up their dead and injured and walk away toward the docks.

“Let’s go.”

Emma takes a second to step into her boots, but she can’t help wondering if they’re now in more trouble. Maybe she can manage to kill Hook before they get thrown in a dungeon. Fucking idiot.

They stop at the edge of a patch of woods, soon joined by a couple of men with Bug, Kahn, Feathers and Hook’s horse which he apparently didn’t name. Obviously, if you’re not a boat or a flask, you don’t deserve much in his eyes. Especially not if you’re a horse, or a woman.

“That was neat timing.” Ruby’s smile is wide. Another part of the story Emma doesn’t get. “It’s good to see you, Abigail.”

“And you, Red.”

The woman pulls the mask and hood she’s been wearing from her face, revealing a cascade of blonde hair.

“Kathryn?”

“Hello, Emma.”  


* * *

  
After parting with the royal guards following Kathryn around, they ride east for about two hours before stopping for some overdue conversation and what’s left of the night.

A fire is crackling. The horses are tended to. She’s been quiet for a long while. The road, then caring for Bug. She’s alone by his side. She doesn’t want to talk.

“Emma?”

There are responsibilities she can’t ignore.

“Thanks for saving our necks, earlier.”

“I’m glad I could help.” Kathryn pats Bug’s neck gently. “Although I think you would have handled it on your own eventually.”

“It would have been a lot messier.”

“Hmm, yes. Red would never let anything happen to you.”

Ruby obeyed her. Whenever Emma stops to think about it, she’s mesmerized by the idea. Such a powerful being, doing what she commands. There’s something intense and satisfying about it.

“I guess not.” Emma looks into Kathryn’s blue eyes, warmed by the light of the lantern she’s hung to be able to see what she’s doing. “Why are you here, Kathryn?”

“To help you find Regina. I started South looking for you as soon as Granny wrote you had left Rocio Palacio.”

“What about your Kingdom?”

“What about it?”

“Don’t you have stuff to do for Draconia?”

“I have many responsibilities, Emma, one of them is making sure my people are safe from the Wicked Witch of the West.” Kathryn’s head tilts, observing her. “Regina is this world’s best chance, and you are hers. We are here to help you.”

“I can’t just put all of her friends in danger. What if you die?”

“We would have gone without you, if Regina hadn’t ask us to wait until Hook returned with you.”

“She asked you to wait?” So that’s what the others didn’t tell her.

“Yes, she wanted you safe and she was right.” Kathryn crosses her arms on her chest decisively. “You have no knowledge of this world, you’re not a born leader—no matter what your parents like to think—but your magic combined is stronger than anything I’ve ever seen.”

“So you’re here to protect me so Regina and I can kick that witch’s ass?”

“Precisely.” Kathryn’s eyebrow lifts not unlike Regina’s. “And she’s my friend, so is your father. I wouldn’t let anything happen to either of you.”

“Look—”

“Emma, this is my land, my world, my life. Frederick and I have come to join you and rescue Regina, because she’s our friend, and our best chance. I’m not going to argue with you, we’re coming.”

Emma takes a deep, resigned breath. Kathryn offers her a smile, and then unexpectedly, a hug. She feels stiff at first. Kathryn isn’t letting her go.

“I know you weren’t supposed to be here, but I’m glad you are anyway.”

Emma closes her eyes a few seconds. Tentatively she wraps her arms around Kathryn’s waist. She’s been scared. She hadn’t realized until now, listening to the frantic beat of her own heart. She’s been really scared.

As if she knows, Kathryn pulls her in closer. “It’s okay. We’re stronger together. We’re going to find her alive, and we’re going to bring her back.”

“‘kay.”

She wants to meet the woman who is slowly taking shape before her, in writing and in her friends’ devotion. Enough that they want to protect her, because they believe in Regina’s faith in her.

Can you long for someone and be envious of them all at once? She’s been frozen in time, just Henry and her and everyday life. It was good, really good, but it feels far away every minute of being here, in the Land of Fairytales. It feels like longing, urgent and sad. Regina’s absence a bite she can’t explain.

“It’s a nice horse.” Kathryn lets her go, placing a hand on Bug’s nose, where he was leaning into them. “You’re a good boy, aren’t you?”

Bug breathes a little harder in her hand, curious.

“I’m sorry I don’t have any sugar for you. You should rest, we have to go take care of a naughty pirate.” She dances her fingers against his playful lips.

A naughty pirate. Just how many times is Hook going to get them in trouble? He reeks of danger, lies and manipulations. Which is not appealing at all, whatever he thinks about it.

“Let’s go.”

They walk back to a quiet camp fire. Mulan is sharpening the edge of her blade with a grey, flat stone. Ruby is sitting next to Frederick, listening to him with her back turned to Hook who is fretting, half seated on a side of a fallen tree trunk.

“Swan!” He stands up with a start. “Listen, I didn’t know I would come across Sliced and his band. I haven’t thought of him in over thirty years.”

“Must be a pirate thing, paying old debts with a knife.”

“He was a smuggler, not exactly a pirate. Although the scar confused a lot of people.” He smiles uncomfortably, but he must be counting on his charm and his doe eyes.

“You almost got us killed. Any more skeletons in your closet we ought to worry about?”

“Technicalities. I’m a pirate, I carry a couple of debts I forgot, and another couple of favors I can always cash in, if need be.”

“What we’re in need of,” Ruby stands, “is a new plan. Not excuses.”

“We should head east,” Mulan says in a soft voice, quieting down any of Hook’s retorts.

“North east is what we thought.”

Emma smiles to Frederick who smiles back warmly. She hasn’t really talked to him before, Henry’s gym teacher. He’s quite the figure in leathers, a sword to his waist. He carries the same earnest lift of the chin her father does. Kind-hearted, honorable men do, she’d learned that early on, but rarely seen it.

“To the Skull.” Kathryn and Frederick are both looking intently at Hook.

“That’s a bad idea, Princess.”

“What’s the Skull?”

“It’s an island, in the blind spot between Draconia and the Winterlands.” Hook is concerned. “Claimed by pirates and visited by all sorts of smugglers.”

“So, full of morally ambiguous people?”

“It’s no laughing matter, Swan. There’s no welcome there for people who aren’t pirates or smugglers themselves. Especially not for your royal lot and your—”

“Gold?”

Emma can discern Kathryn’s cunning intelligence from across the fire. The smile lifting the corner of her mouth, and the eyebrow reminding her very much why she and Regina got along so well.

“Gold might be a good argument, to get us in. I can’t promise you it’ll keep us alive.”

“Where else should we go?” Frederick is not hiding in Kathryn’s shadow. “You know as well as all of us that the only people capable of ferrying what an army needs undetected and without many qualms are pirates.”

“Now it wouldn’t surprise me if the Pirates had rallied themselves with the Wicked Witch, hoping to grab more land or just a fair share of the profit from raidings and lootings, but whether they are still for sale or not, the only way to find out where the Witch’s armies are, is to go to the Skull.”

“Maybe so.” Hook looks at her suddenly, like he’s got an idea. “We should let Swan decide.”

“I think it’s the best plan we’re going to come up with. If there had been any other way Regina would have thought of it long before I got here. And now we actually have a pirate to get us in.”

They’ve discussed anything else they could do full circle, with and without her. This might even be why Regina didn’t tell her to stay away from Hook.

“It is settled then.” Mulan sheaths her sword and gets herself busy making tea.

“I’ll take first watch.” Emma needs space and solitude.  


* * *

  
Emma walks past the campfire, a few trees closer to the road they came from. It’s too dark to read. She’s too agitated anyway. She gets her dagger out, wanting to doodle on the ground or something, but then she realizes that would leave even more traces of their passage.

She’s not sure how much time has gone by, but she doesn’t mistake Hook’s steps for anyone else’s even if he’s trying to be discreet.

“What do you want, Hook?” She stands her back to the trunk of the tree she’s been sitting against.

“I came to check on you.” He stands in front of her.

“I’m fine. It’s not the end of my shift yet.”

“No, but I figured we could talk. I’ll relieve you from watch duty next.”

“You should have slept instead.” She’s harsh, but he’s just too sleek.

“I came to bury the hatchet.” He raises his arms up, his hook catches the descending moon. “I’m sorry we had to deal with a group of angry smugglers because of me.”

She’s surprised he actually said the words.

“I guess you couldn’t know,” she shrugs, “How’s your nose?”

“Not broken, which is a mercy, I suppose.”

“She would have broken it if she had wanted to.” There’s warning in her voice. She likes that Ruby will keep her safe. Against anyone or anything.

“I have no doubt.” He’s smiling that smug smile of his again.

“Will you accept my apology?” He takes a couple of steps closer to her, his head tilted, extending his hands in front of him. An open gesture.

She takes a deep breath, “I guess.” She pauses. “Maybe you should apologize to the others as well.”

“Very well.”

“This is serious, Hook. We’re not just risking our necks. We need to be able to rely on you. I can’t always worry you’ll mess this up even more than it is.” She’s already tired of his games.

He takes another step. He’s in her personal space. “I didn’t let you down in Neverland, did I?”

“No.” Nothing extraordinary, though.

He puts an arm up on the trunk, to the side of her face. She’s holding her breath. She’s not going to stay still very long. He’s got more to say, she can tell. That’s the only reason she hasn’t put that dagger to his balls just yet.

“It’s really good to see you being yourself again, love.” He smiles, that smile that lifts the corner of his mouth and reveals the perfect line of his teeth, like he’s an actor from Hollywood.

“I’m not sure I wasn’t myself in New York. I’ll miss the peace of mind.”

New York meant she didn’t have to worry about the end of the world, magic, witches, and pirates. Or family with kingdoms and new babies.

“Come now, Swan, you must have missed a few things.”

“Honestly, I didn’t. I was just fine.” And she was. Happy, even. With Henry, and their cool place, work and school. She didn’t have many friends but that’s not her thing anyway. What was there to miss? A pirate? Fairytale people? Right.

“I would like a chance to pick up where we left off in Neverland.”

“Hook—”

“We could be good together. I’ve changed.”

“It’s good if you’ve changed, Killian. I just don’t think there’s anything to pick up from.”

He’s adventure and games, a little thrill here and there. He’s nothing for her. A million years from where she’s really at, and who she really is. Not that she knows every day. Not that she’s always had the strength to stay away from being wanted like he wants her. There’s want and want, and he’s all the wrong kinds of everything.

Truth be told, she doesn’t want him. She never wanted him.

“Then let me show you.” He’s too eager for her liking. Annoying really. Puppy pushing her buttons again.

What’s with people doing that? Getting a ride out of her self-esteem issues and making her feel like she has to accept whatever they’re pressing on her.

He sounds just like Snow saying,_ ‘Aww Emma, come meet your little brother. He’s such a blessing, and we’re so happy he can be with his big sister now. Isn’t he the most precious baby boy you’ve ever seen?’_

Henry is the most precious little boy she’s ever seen. Evan is a beautiful baby and he’s her little brother. And she’s very much not ready to think about him at all. He smiled at her, pink gums and sparkling grey soon to be green eyes. Like her own.

She sighs.

“The Princess’ gold will get us to the Skull. Once we’re there—I didn’t want to say anything, because it’s been a while, but the Governor of the island owes me a favor. A big one.”

“You think he could tell us where to find the Witch’s army?” That would be the first and probably most serious lead they would get. She’s careful not to get her hopes up though. Hook coming through is a long shot.

“Nothing happens in the pirate or smuggling world without the Governor knowing about it.”

“How do you know the dude’s still alive?”

“He’s older, and relies on a son of his for a lot of things, but he’s still the boss. No doubt about it.”

“He must have heard your friend Sliced, and his band, tried to get us then.”

“Aye, he will have when we reach the Skull. It’s good for my reputation, even if Sliced was only a smuggler. He was respected.”

“What’s the difference between a pirate and a smuggler?”

He keeps referring to the two like they’re different and it has its importance. Not that she wants to encourage him, but she doesn’t like being in the dark.

“Pirates live on the Skull and are dedicated to the lifestyle. No strings attached but to your captain and the code.” He smiles with satisfaction. “Smugglers organize more into enterprises. Lucrative businesses. They usually have colors of their own crews, not the pirate ones. They deal in stolen goods, illegal merchandises, occasionally sink a ship or two, but they go home in their homeland once in a while, have wives and children if they want to.”

“Pirates have a Governor, though.” It sounds like the pirates are their own big crew of smugglers.

“Yes, a pirate captain of his own fame, king of the Skull. His crews usually are in charge of the intendance on the island. Other pirate captains pay him the bounty.”

“You pay this guy off, too?”

“When it suits me. I wasn’t always in this world and I have my own fame. Generally if you want a good crew, and with a fine ship like the Jolly Roger, I only get the best, then you pay your bounty so you can do commerce in peace. Outsiders are enough to worry about, no one wants pirates on their backs too.”

“All right. I guess we’ll see how that pans out.”

“I only want what you want, Swan.”

“Somehow, I doubt that.” She pushes him off of her with a shoulder against his. “I’m off. It’s been a long day.”

“Good night, love.”

“Yeah. Don’t fall asleep.”

He’s giving her much to think about. She gets the feeling, next talk they have, he’ll be telling her she’s been leading him on.  


* * *

  
Mulan is asleep, her back opposite Kathryn and Frederick, wrapped into each other. The fire is not as strong as it was but it’ll last until morning. She doesn’t see Ruby, or Red, but she has no doubt she will before long.

Emma settles down not too far from the fire so she can see. By the time she’s gotten ready for some sleep, untying her pants and releasing her chest, Red is curling around her, helping her rest her back into her belly, massive head onto her lap.

She gives a scratch to an ear and the wolf’s left cheek. She’s rewarded with a contented rumble.

“You heard Hook’s plan?”

Red gives a snort of hot air.

“It ties in well with what Kathryn has in mind. She just thought she’d buy it out of the guy instead.”

Emma relaxes into Red after she opens the leather bound book to where she left off at in Regina’s recent entries. She doesn’t use anything to bookmark the pages, the journal just seems to know what she wants to read.

“Hopefully, we’ll get the right info and then we can focus on how to get Regina back, not just where she’s at.”

She feels a nod in her belly where Red’s jaw is resting.

_‘The 5th day of Sleeping Moon during the 3rd Moon of Spring of the 6032th Lunar Cycle,  
260th day of my curse, Rocio Palacio_

_Dear Emma,_

_I can’t do this anymore. I told your mother I wasn’t interested in the man. Robin of Locksley, lion tattoo or not, is not who I want to be with. Of course, Tink thought it her magic-bound duty to inform your mother my ‘soulmate’ is supposed to be this Robin Hood, and that he’s been living in my yard._

_Naturally, your mother went on and encouraged him to court me. Naturally, he took it to heart. Court me! I spent the past week rebuking his most pressing advances. He’s scruffy looking and entirely too amicable._

_He has a little boy, maybe five years of age, named Roland. He’s very sweet and he likes to visit the kitchens with me, but that’s all there is to it. I have no interest in Robin Hood._

_It would actually be a blessing if your mother and fairy dust could keep their nosy noses out of my business._

_I don’t want a new family. I don’t want a new man to take possession of my soul and think my life can’t be blessed because I don’t have one of each. I already have a family._

_How dare she throw this man and his child at me, thinking even for the most fleeting instant that he, or anyone for that matter, could replace you, or Henry in my heart?_

_Oh, and remind me to tell you about the moment Red realized that Robin Hood’s bow is magical and he can never miss his target thanks to it. She had such a fit, it was lovely.’_

There are butterflies having a party in her stomach.

She’s in Regina’s heart? It’s not just Henry? She must only have meant it because she’s angry with Snow and offended that anyone would think Regina could just swap her love for Henry by doting on Rolland.

When is Snow ever going to get a clue she shouldn’t meddle like that in people’s lives? It only causes trouble.

She’s not that unhappy that she didn’t have Robin Hood join them. Hopefully, Henry won’t get all chummy with him while they’re gone.

Henry. If only there was a way to check on him. They’ve only been gone five days, but it feels like weeks.

_‘Speaking of, I also have to tell you something else. There aren’t twenty ways around it—Emma, your mother is pregnant._

_You might hear it from your parents first, if they are successful in bringing you here. I don’t doubt their resolve, but I doubt their capacity to handle your emotions about that news. Or anything really._

_You are important, Emma Swan. You are loved. Even if selfishly by your idiots. They didn’t raise you, mostly, they say, because I was looming over their fate with dark intentions. They can’t be expected to understand what you’re going through, or why them bringing a child into this world of chaos isn’t necessarily something that will fill you with pride and happiness._

_I know you will love the child. There’s not a doubt in my mind that you will._

_They are breaking the heart of the abandoned little girl you will always carry with you. In all the places you have no defenses for. I’m afraid you won’t change them until they are willing to open their eyes and grasp that the world isn’t made of only one dimension of good and bad intentions and that happiness isn’t born of wishful thinking. They are careless in their privilege of always having had each other._

_You are not alone anymore. Neither abandoned or unwanted._

_You have a family, of blood and choice. You have Henry, you have your parents, the people you chose and who chose you, like Red or Mulan._

_Having to let go of Henry and you, it was so terribly difficult. You have become a part of me, Miss Swan, not only because we share a son._

_You have me as well, Emma, in your family, if you so wish.’_

Family, with Regina. With Henry. Regina gave it to her on the townline with a teary goodbye, holding her hand in the face of doom. They’re a family, the three of them. Does she want it?

Emma knows she wants it. It’s probably what she wanted to begin with. Something to belong to, somewhere to call home. Giving Henry his best chance meant letting go of him. That was by far the harshest and hardest thing she’s ever done. She remembers Storybrooke, Regina and Henry being their own family, their own unit, even in their fights, in the anger and the resentment. She remembers the envy. Wanting what Regina had. Wanting what Henry had.

She catches a few tears from her cheeks and allows herself one sniffle before wiping her nose with the wrist of her shirt as well. It’s mostly water anyway.

She wasn’t raised by her parents because they let her go. Danger or not. Regina would never abandon Henry, she would choose war over twenty eight years apart and prophecies. So would she.

There are the people you’re born to, and then there are the people you choose to call family.

There are little girls’ broken hearts, too.

She’s always been an orphan. She will always be an orphan.

It’s just that, now, she’s an orphan with family.

_‘And soon you’ll have to add Bug too. He’s your horse._

_Mulan introduced him to me during one of our rides together. He’s a beautiful young palomino. His coat very much reminds me of that death trap of yours. Did you buy a better car already? There should be more than enough for you to be able to._

_Mulan thought I should train Bug for Henry, but by the time she had finished that sentence I already had named him for you. He’s a very gentle animal, you’ll be safe with him. He has a sure foot which will compensate for your clumsiness._

_Don’t pout. You are clumsy. It’s rather sweet when you’re not annoying, or raining havoc and catastrophes._

_Bug is boarding with Kahn for now, they have become friends, as you and Mulan have, or Mulan and I. She told me many stories of your adventures in the Enchanted Forest. It was how we started talking, actually. She has a voracious appetite for stories of our world. Of Earth. I have grown to appreciate the calm of her company, although given enough space, she lights up with a strong passion and character._

_I can see why you would like her, and why I would, too. I also can see how you two would butt heads. She is just as stubborn as you are. Honorable and trustworthy Hua Mulan. I am glad I have met her._

_Henry’s horse, Apache, I found back at the White stables with your father’s horse. He brought him back for me, trotting behind his own. In person. Idiot._

_I still won’t help them._

_Enjoy your happiness, Emma. Savor each moment with Henry._

_I wish I could promise you an untroubled future. I was hoping I had._

_R.’_

She looks for Bug’s shape in the not so distant darkness, his head rendered on the next page at Regina’s hand is just as real. She looks at Mulan, then. All is quiet; even Red’s breathing has evened out.

She closes the journals, puts them back in the secrecy of her jacket. She inches her body forward, careful with Red’s heavy head so she can lean further into her soft fur.

She shuts her eyes, an imprint of Regina’s delicate face on the back of her eyelids.

Emma doesn’t trust anyone with much of anything, especially not her life, or her future, and certainly not her heart. Even less her child. Never promises.

She’s entrusted all of it to Regina. She can’t find a single reason why she wouldn’t.

The only thing she doubts is herself.

Fucking Robin Hood.


	4. Fairy Godmothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group manages to make it to the Skull where Hook is invited to a dinner party by the Pirate Governor. While he's attending with Mulan; Emma, Ruby, Frederick, and Kathryn are waiting for them at a local Inn. Emma is pondering the feelings that Regina has been evoking in her through her writings, and trying to sort out where she stands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ **Setting** | Events in this chapter begin on day 18 after Regina’s abduction. For indication in the Queen’s entry, Regina is 34, Snow is 28 and Red is 24.]
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_‘The 4th day of Crescent during the 1st Moon of Summer of the 6001th Lunar Cycle,  
Dark Tower_

_They reinvested White Castle a Lunar Cycle ago. Damn you Lancelot du Lac. The girl was there, too. She is never far from Snow anymore._

_Their marriage, is it the beginning of the end?_

_Maybe it isn’t the worst idea. Let them think they won the war. I will be ready soon, Rumpelstiltskin gave me all I need. I won’t be confined to Dark Tower forever._

_I might not be able to harm them in this world, but I shall destroy their happiness if it is the last thing I do. I gave them my word as a nuptial present._

_This curse will take everything from them. Their precious True Love, their people, their memories. The price matters not. She does not deserve to live happily ever after. Not after all the pain she has caused._

_That wouldn’t be fair now, would it? Selfish little princess. And they call me the Evil Queen!_

_Mother only wanted power. I have power._

_I want justice. For Daniel, for myself._

_These animals will pay for their righteousness, their birth rights. She can have White Castle, she can have the peasants, the realm. There will be no peace for her as there is no peace for me._

_I will enact his curse. It matters not if it serves him, it will serve me also._

_There is no fate. There are no fairy godmothers. Only actors of their own purposes and interests. Only men imposing their will. Only those who possess and those who bend._

_I will bend no more._

_Maleficent heeded her warning. She warned me not to become my mother. She warned me of the emptiness of the path I’m choosing. Maybe her eyes have grown too accustomed to the shadows, buried under her mountain._

_My path is already empty. It has been since the day Snow White betrayed me. It has been since the day I was born. Mother’s clay. Papi didn’t protect me then, he doesn’t protect me now. He never could. He didn’t have the courage. He only had the love and the guilt._

_It’s why he stays now, why he doesn’t oppose me._

_Did I truly embrace Mother’s path? I think not. I think I make my own. I think I shed my weaknesses. She’s the one who kept them in wooden boxes._

_I will wipe them from existence and take everything they ever cherished from them. I will keep nothing of this life but the knowledge I got from it all._

_Whether it lasts for twenty-eight years or eternity is of no consequence. The prophecy is a myth, but even if Snow White is carrying the child who will be my nemesis, the unique one designed to destroy my curse, then it is another victory. I will take her daughter from her before she can do more than lay eyes on her progeniture._

_They can carve her safety from a magic tree, if they think that will stop me._

_Twenty-eight years is time enough to savor my happy ending and destroy their lives in a world without magic. They will be at my mercy._

_Selfish, selfish Snow White. You would send your child to a far away land, sustained only by the faith that she might, against all odds, grow to one day defeat your enemy and save your miserable life and those of your people._

_Coward. Abandoning your own child instead of fighting me. You dare call it the greater good._

_I wonder what our lives would have been like, Snow White, if you had even just once, looked at me with the understanding that you never earned forgiveness. You granted it to yourself._

_If just once, you had been honest with yourself, and owned that your heart is not as pure as snow._

_I would slaughter you. I should have slaughtered all of you for my own daughter, born of your father or not. How can you not fight to keep the child of your True Love?_

_I would stand against death itself. In this world or the next._

Three days of mad riding. They reached this small village at the very end of the coastline of Draconia. Then they rode more, to a beach and they waited until it was maybe three in the morning. They wrapped themselves in their hoods and cloaks, loaded their horses on the barge after Hook paid for their passage.

Smugglers smuggling them to the Skull.

He’s been recognized, Hook’s told them. They’ll be awaited when they arrive. For better or worse, they’ll know when they get there.

Emma is leaning into Ruby’s warm body. She doesn’t seem to be cold. Or tired. Emma is sleeping on and off. Frederick is keeping watch. Ruby is the only person she knows who can close her eyes only to rest them, and not trade her consciousness for dreams.

Emma dreams, and daydreams, of Regina’s words. Of slaughter and abandoned babies in wood carved wardrobes which squeeze too tightly. Of babies’ ashes buried with rose bushes’ roots.

She wakes to the sounds of her own whines, waves rocking them in rhythm with Ruby threading her fingers through her hair. Emma had never really stopped to realize how empathetic Ruby really is. She’s never had to take on so much. She usually actively avoids her own emotions.

Sharing in Regina’s, it’s like nothing she’s ever allowed before. It leaves her with more questions than answers—and truths she’s been too busy being scared to accept. Scared of losing, scared of doing the wrong thing, scared of trusting her own judgment.

So preoccupied by being what is expected of her, she forgot to be herself and pay attention.

She moans her name, too, “Regina,” and Ruby shushes her.

“You’ll be with her soon, Emma.”

She sleeps, she wakes. She feels feverish, and maybe she is. She’s not sea sick. Probably exhausted.

“We’ll find real beds tonight.” Mulan gives her a cup of water with a powder she mixed into it, from Marika’s satchel of wonders. “It’ll do us good.”

She means it’ll do Emma good. Mulan hands her a cup of tea next. She makes good tea, Mulan, different flavors, not too strong, not too smoked. Just good and timely.

“How long do you think they’ll be?” Ruby is not eating much, which isn’t quite like her at all.

“It’s a dinner party, Red. They’ll be gone for the evening.” Kathryn has already answered her a couple of times.

Hook had been handed an invitation by a butler, as they were getting off the boat. He’s been gone two hours, with Mulan.

Both Emma and Kathryn couldn’t really risk being recognized. Apparently, Mulan—true or not, she has refused to confirm—is considered something of an outlaw and known from Tianxian pirates. They all agreed she would be a great babysitter for Hook. Ruby would have ended up killing him, and Frederick doesn’t make for a convincing Smee. Although he could be a very handsome plus one.

Mulan herself said, “While we’re here, Hook should take lead. He knows the ways. We stick out enough as it is.”

They do, so much so that Hook has secured a private alcove for them in the Inn they chose for dinner. The most expensive one, if prices are any indication to go by. It’s not that easy to find stables on the Skull anyhow.

“While in Rome, we do like the Romans,” Kathryn is trying to appease Ruby. “Just relax, Red, there’s nothing we can do but wait. For now.”

They’re ordering expensive foods and wines, which apparently is some sort of rarity on the Skull. Pirates frequent the brothels and entire crews pass out in alleys. The Inn is for captains and VIP guests. It’s not all it sounded like when the fancy butler advised them to stay there.

Then again, he addressed only Hook, although from afar it looked like Hook did more of the talking than the butler.

“We’re on an island. There’s nowhere to go if things go south. I don’t know about you, but I feel like we’ve just walked into the bear’s cave and surrendered ourselves for dinner.”

“We might have, but it still is the best plan.”

“Fine.” Red can’t run. It makes Ruby antsy.

They’ve bathed and changed, even managed to do their laundry. That was an expedition. It felt good, though, doing the mundane things. Emma had a nap, too.

“Trusting Hook is a mistake,” Ruby grumbles.

“Who said anything about trusting him?” Kathryn smiles at both of them.

“Mulan won’t be manipulated by his—whatever,” Emma says.

“He’s completely smitten with Emma. I highly doubt he would do anything to displease her.”

“Maybe so, but his definition of honesty and safety leaves a lot to be desired.”

“Which is why we stay on our guard and Mulan went with him.” Kathryn finishes her glass of wine. “Relax, Red, there is no point in working yourself up.”

“His infatuation is dangerous.”

“It’s useful. For now.”

“Guys! I’m here.” Emma isn’t happy with the turn of the conversation. “I’m not a defenseless child. And I’m not leading Hook on so he stays in line.”

“Emma—” Ruby is going to apologize. Kathryn is quiet.

“Just drop it, all right?” Emma stands. “He’s helping because he wants to, and if he isn’t, then he can go his own way.”

She steps away from their table, back into the main hall where she finds her own table away from the few customers having a drink or some food.  


* * *

  
She’s not drinking rum. Suddenly she wishes for Granny’s hot chocolate with cinnamon on top.

Emma has tea. Not even as good as Mulan’s. She sits with Regina’s journals. She’s not really reading them, though. She’s thinking about Henry, who must already be a much better rider than she is, even if it’s only been a week or so. He’s learning to fight, and worrying at night, she’s sure. No matter how hard he gives himself to studies or physical training.

Her baby with a sword. Soon enough, he’ll be taller than Regina, and then her. And then it’ll be time to let him go his own way, hoping he’ll come back home when he needs to.

Hoping he’ll have a home to come back to. What’s that going to be like? Being Ma and Mom with Regina. Where is home going to be for him? For her? Can they go back to Earth?

She thinks maybe Regina would like that. The Land of Fairytales isn’t for either of them. Too much bad history. Too much bad blood. Regina’s got a kingdom, though. Would she let that go? It’s not like Emma has a lot to offer. The money, the apartment in NY, it pretty much all came with the trust fund she now knows Regina had set up outside of Storybrooke. Part of Regina’s contingency plan.

She has Bug. She’s capable, she works. She doesn’t have much but suddenly she’s willing to give it all back.

The more she thinks about it, the more she’s coming to terms with the idea that she’s only wanted to be taken in, too. And to give. Loving Henry isn’t the same as being his mom. She never wanted to do that alone.

But Regina only always felt threatened by her. Truth is, Emma waltzed in there thinking she had a right to him when she didn’t. How desperate she had been then to just belong. And Regina so desperate for her son to love her back unconditionally, believing all along she wasn’t worthy.

Regina had believed Henry could never love her if he saw who she really was. For a while, Henry had been confused, pulled in every direction by the adults around him. Emma had been first in line.

In all the things she’s written to her, it sounds as if Regina has forgiven her. She’s almost tender at times. Fond of Emma’s clumsiness. Fond of Emma all on her own.

Emma is sad and frustrated and confused. She’d never wanted Regina to be her enemy, especially not when she had first seen her. Regina, a vision of another world Emma never belonged to, only watched from afar. So strong, so beautiful. She was also mysterious, and lied a lot.

Now she finds that all that matters to her is to see Regina again. She’s not just grateful and responsible for bringing his mother back to her son. She wants to see Regina with her new eyes, born of memories and privacy shared. In the light of caring for one another.

Maybe she’s presumptuous to think feelings could be reciprocated, but at least they can be friends. They can be close. That’s what Regina wants, too; she wouldn’t be writing to her if she didn’t.

There are so many things they need to talk about. She would give a whole lot to just sit by her in silence. Would their magic recognize each other like it always has? If she was to take Regina’s hand? If she was to hold her close and breathe the sunlight in her hair?

Her stomach does somersaults every single time she dares to imagine what kissing those lips could be like. Making Regina smile and look at her again, the way she had looked at her when she had said goodbye.

Had Regina been jealous in Neverland, when Hook had gotten that kiss from Emma, when Neal had wanted her to trust him again?

With Graham, it was Emma who had been jealous. She liked him well enough, and she’s pretty sure Regina killed him. It must be somewhere in the journals. She had wanted him out of that house the second she’d seen him there, in Regina’s shadow. So comfortable around the big mansion she’d never been welcomed in. Playing house. Playing boyfriend.

Just like this Robin Hood. Playing house in Regina’s backyard.

Is he going to try to be Henry’s best buddy, too?

At least Regina didn’t make him her boytoy. No, she did that with Ruby.

Emma is being unreasonable, and she knows it.

“You look like you could kill someone.”

It’s Frederick. She gives him a death glare. Regina style.

“Hey, now.” He lifts two pints of what looks like that honeymead Emma could take a liking to, if they weren’t in danger all the time. “I come in peace.”

She takes the glass from him.

“May I sit?”

“Yeah.” She sighs in defeat.

“You’ve been brooding since earlier. Abigail and Red are only concerned with your safety.”

“I know. I’m just annoyed with all the games, the politics, the world coming to an end again. And age difference.” She takes a swig of her beverage, she likes the sweetness, even if it’s treacherous. “We’ll find her, Emma.” His smile is gentle and earnest, just like his big brown eyes.

“You guys keep saying that like it’s more important than your own lives.”

“In a way it is.” He’s serious, even with a soft smile on his lips.

“Why?”

“You two together is our best chance, and—” He’s appraising her, deciding if he should speak or not, she can tell.

He’s been great since he and Kathryn joined their crazy adventure. He’s a kind man, reliable, funny, and brave. A good, fair, courageous man.

“And?”

“And when two people are parted with worlds, curses and terrible fates between them, like you two are, then somehow it feels my duty to help you get a chance to be together.”

She swallows._ ‘Be together’_ resonates in her mind.

“Regina and I, we’re not even friends.” Emma looks at him then. “She my son’s mother.” ‘_And so much more.’_

“I think Regina is your friend more than you think. She gave you a happy ending, Emma.”

“You’re going to lecture me on fairytales, too?” She rolls her eyes.

“Nope. I’m just saying that love comes in all shapes. People aren’t black and white. Regina is a woman of many dimensions.”

“What do you know of her?”

“Not as much as you, I think.” He points his chin to the journals she’s holding to her chest. “I never really met the Evil Queen, I just know Midas must have feared her.”

He’s the one who takes a swig at pronouncing the name.

“I was a golden statue back then. Until your father helped me outdo what a kiss that isn’t True Love can’t do.”

“So Kathryn isn’t your True Love?”

“I don’t know, my thing wasn’t a proper curse. I don’t care, really.”

“You don’t?” She looks at him in surprise.

“No, I don’t. Not every love is blessed by magic, and, even if it was, that doesn’t change who we are or how we love each other. I know my love is true. I would go to the end of the world and back for Abigail.”

“Yeah, it shows.”

“I knew Regina Mills in Storybrooke, though.” He smiles at her again. “She was always so concerned with Henry’s fitness. She had to make sure I wouldn’t push him too much, or that he wouldn’t get hurt in any way.”

“She’s the protective type.” Emma remembers many a memory of protecting Henry against all sorts of domestic dangers. He’s not as clumsy as she is herself, but he’s a danger to himself nevertheless.

“She still is.” He chuckles lightly. “I remember that one time Henry got hit in the face by the Sander boy playing soccer. He got the ball square in the eye. She was so angry, I thought she’d have my job. She didn’t say a word, just picked him up. But you know how she does that thing with her eyes, like she’s going to roast you on your feet with a fireball?”

“Yeah, and she looks so regal doing it, too.”

“Exactly. Abigail’s the same.” They both chuckle this time. “So, I’m waiting for her wrath, at some point, but it doesn’t come. I gave the Sander boy detention, because he did it on purpose and he was strong enough to hurt Henry.”

“I bet that didn’t sit well with Mark Sander.” Storybrooke’s very own mason.

“You bet right. Not two days later, I get a nasty graffiti on my car saying faggot.” He’s looking at her again, with his gentle smile. “I don’t think she knew who I was then, that I was Frederick, I mean.”

“You think it would have been different if she had known?”

“No. She showed up the following Monday with Henry and his shiner, and apple turnovers she said they had baked together. She still didn’t say much of anything about the incident, with Henry or with my car, but she told me I was fine just the way I was, and proficient at my job.”

“Proficient at your job?” She shakes her head. “That’s Regina for you.”

“There’s more to her than the woman who couldn’t let go of her rage and suffered the kind of treatment women suffer in this world. I’m pretty sure she suffered a much bigger ordeal than that, but even just that. It’s not like men are any better in this world or the other. Women are not treated well in these parts, Emma, especially not women of color. Or Magical Folks.”

“Why is it you can see that and my own parents can’t?”

“Maybe because I’ve been turned into a golden statue by a King who thought I wasn’t good enough for his daughter and had no issue doing away with my life because I wasn’t high born.”

“My father is a shepherd.” David isn’t exactly a noble prince.

“A shepherd made King.”

“Aren’t you going to be King?” She’s not sure how it all works.

“I married Abigail, but she will be reigning. I will only be her consort.” His hands are flat on the beaten dark wood of the table they’re sitting at.

“She’s the Princess.”

“She loathes it, but it was the best way to appease her father and his nobles.” He frowns. “I think he regrets not having a son, even if he has the most incredible daughter a man could hope for. She’s more capable than me, I would never want to eclipse her in any way.”

“I’m sure you guys will find your balance. My parents seem to have.” That, and a new heir.

“Regina is a very good Queen. She’s fair and smart. Her people love her.”

“She did good in Storybrooke, when she wasn’t trying to prevent the curse being broken,” Emma says, sitting back in her chair.

“She does good. She did good even in her darkest moments, from what I hear.”

“So you’re not mad at her for the curse or anything?”

“I liked it better over there. I would like it better over there with my memories back.” He smiles. “She has changed, Emma. Anyone with an open mind can see that. She’s paid a high price for her wrongdoings.”

“What are you saying?” She sips on her mead to hide her nervousness.

“That you both paid a high price because of prophecies and curses, on behalf of others. The past is past. She deserves to be happy. So do you.”

“Robin Hood is supposed to be her soulmate. He’s got a fairy dust prediction to prove it.” It tastes sour coming out of her mouth.

Frederick finishes his own drink. He points a finger at the journals. “She entrusted you with her life, her most intimate thoughts and secrets. Not Robin Hood.” He looks a little proud of himself now.

“I think I’ve had feelings for her for a long time.” She looks at him, surprised. It wasn’t so hard to say. It’s not so hard to envision. He’s not the person she thought she might open up to.

“Then good for you, Emma.” He stands up and puts a hand on her shoulder. “Just make sure to tell her that when you see her.”

They need to get Regina back. She needs to get Regina back.  


* * *

  
“We’ll set sail at dawn.” Hook is positively preening.

“You know where Regina is?” Emma can’t sit still.

“Heh—no.” He’s grimacing, but not lying. “I don’t know where she is.”

“Then you know where the Witch is?”

“No, I don’t know that either.”

“What the fuck do you know?” She really can’t be still.

“Easy now, love.” He smiles, and she’s going to make him swallow his front teeth if he doesn’t start spilling the goods soon. “The Governor has entrusted us to one of his captains’ ships, the Gemstone. It’ll ferry us and the horses along with their next load of contraband to the delivery point they’re expected at in a two or three days’ sail.”

“Expected by whom?” Kathryn has her arms crossed on her chest.

“By the Witch’s people,” Mulan says. “Apparently you were right, the Pirates are her main suppliers and movers.”

“Do we know where?” Frederick is doing the math in his head “If it’s a two- or three-day sail, it must be on the mainland, south-east, as we thought.”

“I took the liberty of agreeing to the journey.” Hook is smug.

“Yeah, so we can all be walking the plank tomorrow.” Ruby doesn’t seem happy with the next step of the plan.

“The Governor gave me his word of honor we wouldn’t be harmed while in his care.” Hook tries to appease them. “They’ll part with us before their rendezvous point.”

“They don’t want to be involved,” Emma concludes out loud.

“Aye, they have a lucrative business.”

“They made a deal with a demon.” Kathryn isn’t happy either.

“Maybe so, but it’s the closest we’ve come to finding the Queen.” Hook is less smug as he says, “Might very well be our only way off the Skull, too.”

“I thought this dude owed you a favor?” Emma asks. If they’re forced to take the ride, then it’s pretty certain they’re walking into a trap.

“He does, and he’s happy to be rid of it,” Hook answers.

It all sounds really iffy. Hook, the dude’s word, and being stuck on a ship not knowing where they’re going.

“Listen, guys,” Emma looks at each of them in turn, “this is not looking great, but it’s the best we’ve got. I’m going, but to each their own decision, okay?”

“I set out to accompany you till the end, Emma.” Mulan invites her to sit back down and sits beside her. “I think we all are. Not that I speak for each of us.”

“We’ve been over this, Emma.” Kathryn is smiling at her, and Frederick has an arm around his wife.

“I’m not even going to answer that.” Ruby rolls her eyes at her.

“Well, then, that’s settled.” Hooks gets up. “On these good words, Swan, can I interest you in a night cap?”

“Thanks, but I already had a drink with Frederick. I think that was enough.” She’s grateful, really. Even if she’s uneasy. She has no intention of drinking with him, and his smitten self, as Kathryn had put it.

“It was good mead.” Good man. Frederick’s smile doesn’t even look like a double entendre.

“I don’t know about you people, but I need my beauty sleep.”

Ruby is already on the move and Emma gets up after her, waving to the group. “See you here at dawn.”  


* * *

  
“Thanks for that.”

“Don’t mention it. This guy has no freaking swag. The emo eyeliner pirate style doesn’t do much of anything except to his type of women, I guess. If there’s even a type for that.”

They talk as they both strip. It’s nice to sleep only in a loose shirt. She’s concerned for a moment that the comfort of the inn is giving them a false sense of security, but she brushes it off in a thought of rebellious recklessness. Let them come.

Ruby must have packed their things while Emma was with Frederick, because there’s only a pair of her pants still drying on the back of a chair in their room. At least they’re pretty much ready to bolt.

“He’s all show. He’s got a sort of charisma, I suppose, but it’s not like I like him.”

They settle in a queen-sized bed, both sitting back against the heavy wooden headboard. Same style as the table downstairs. The innkeeper must have gotten a deal when he furnished the place. The pillows are plentiful and the mattress is comfortable enough. She’s slept in far worse conditions.

“I didn’t peg you for a pirate kinda girl anyway.” Ruby is smirking. “Although, you do like a bad boy.”

“I do not,” Emma pouts. “I’m not a teenager anymore.”

Being with Neal was all the bad boy she’s ever needed. She was half-hoping Wendy Darling would grow up once back from Neverland. It’s not like she doesn’t wish him well, but that was only a filler to solve her problems. Men, always the wrong ones, always missing something. She saw Neal only briefly in White Castle. He held her close, but he wasn’t as forthcoming as Hook was in kissing her.

Her time with Neal is long past. Loving him was never good for her; loving has never been good for her. Emma isn’t sure she’s ever been into men, she’d only been into Neal. Before that, before that she was just a street rat, a flight risk. Men and women looked at her in ways and places that weren’t ever safe for her.

Ruby is looking at her, too, like she’s reading all her emotions on her face.

“What?”

“You know I’m just a smartass, right?” Ruby smooths the sheet over the blanket covering them. The Skull isn’t a Caribbean island. It’s cold and windy. Not Viking-like, but you can tell the Winterlands are what’s next, north on the map. Summers are still nice apparently, so the blanket isn’t too thick.

“You apologizing?” Emma snorts.

“I’ve been teasing you a little too much.”

Emma likes and dislikes this mature demeanor in Ruby. It makes her feel safe, but small, too.

“Since when have the tables turned so much?”

“I suppose being in touch with my inner wolf has helped my confidence.”

The blinds are not drawn on the window of their room. The stars are shining close, the moon is growing in the sky with each passing day.

“That, or being around Regina.”

Ruby smiles, “Yeah, maybe that, too.”

“Can I ask you a question?” Emma has an idea suddenly.

“Anything, Em.”

It’s easy with Ruby. There are no terrible consequences to be paid for asking questions.

“How does it work for you, the whole being with a woman thing?” Not that she’d ask a deeply committing question.

“How does it work?” Ruby chuckles. “Man, Emma, you make it too tempting to joke around with.”

“All right, all right. But really.”

“Really, for me it’s about attraction and what feelings someone triggers inside me.”

“So you go out with guys, too?”

“Actually, for all my talking about trying to go out with guys during the curse, I never really did.” Ruby sits cross-legged, by Emma’s side, but facing her.

“I think I like women better. Although I was in love with Peter. It was elating, I had never felt that way before. It was illicit too, because Granny would never let me out of her sight. I never actually had sex with him. I tried though, later, and in Storybrooke. Men, I mean.”

Emma is listening intently. She’d always thought Ruby to be a sexual person. The curse had objectified her in pretty explicit ways. Like Ruby didn’t really have inhibitions. Emma had known there was a lot more to Ruby than the pin-up brunette bimbo style of her fashion exterior. She remembers the shy and hesitant young woman she’d wanted to protect and encourage.

Seeing her now, affirmed and confident in her own self, it’s giving Emma some hope that it’s okay to be a late bloomer to these sort of things.

“I don’t know if I would call myself a lesbian, but there’s definitely an alpha side to me that I can’t tone down so a man would have to be pretty far from the norm of men thinking they’re more than women to be around me long. I don’t enjoy men like I love women. Yet again, I don’t enjoy things in the conventional sense of what other people do.”

“You’re different.”

“I’m a werewolf. It defines me as much as it doesn’t. A monster-who-isn’t. I think I need to feel free in order to love. Any kind of love. I haven’t met any man who made me feel that way.”

“Does Regina make you feel that way?”

“She does.” Ruby finds her eyes and says, “But the question is, Em, how does she make you feel?”

Emma feels her skin heat up. She knows there’s no hiding it from Ruby, candlelight or not. She sighs.

“I can’t tell you exactly what Regina makes me feel. But she’s always made me feel a lot. I don’t know if it’s because there’s Henry now, but I just can’t imagine a world without her in it being a pain in my ass and making my life complicated.”

“Regina will never want less of you than the best of who you are. She’ll expect to be disappointed, but she’ll allow you to always be your own self with her.”

Emma understands. It’s exactly why being around Regina feels so conflicting but so stimulating as well. “It is freeing. And scary. Like there’s so much responsibility with that, and accountability.”

“She’s very real.”

“I want to see her again, Rubes.” It rises inside her heart, these waves of urgent longing. She’s missed so much. Regina gave her a happy ending. A sacrifice, too. There’s a hidden cutting edge to the beauty of that act. Regina paying the price of her involvement in something that’s always been bigger than her.

Reading her, Emma understands what she had only just guessed before. Regina deserves so much better. There must be something other than suffering and expecting the worst of the people around her and her own life.

Hope is costly. Emma knows that very well, too. A year of carefree living has allowed her to find some reprieve. It felt hollow at times, but resting. Even if just for her own resources of energy. The ones she uses to go on living. Regina seems to barely allow herself any hope and she’s been quite out of juice.

“She fought it tooth and nail, but she wanted to see you just as much, Emma.”

Emma gets out of bed to get the journals from the back pocket of her jacket.

When she returns under the sheets, she lies down, soon imitated by Ruby. It’s strange that she’s not turning into Red. Emma’s taken quite rapidly to sleeping buried in the fur which doesn’t smell like dog at all. More like forest and camping trips sleeping under the Milky Way. She’d done that more than once, in the system, homeless a couple of times, on the job, too. Never before with a werewolf for company. It would be pretty neat, if the circumstances didn’t suck as much as they do.

Ruby wiggles. Maybe she’d like to turn into Red, too. Emma watches her turn and fret for a moment, until she faces the window and quiets down, gazing at the stars.

She opens the journals to the entry she wants to read, content, only for now, to meet Regina in her writing.

_‘The 6th Day of Half Moon during the 1st Moon of Autumn of the 6032th Lunar Cycle,_  
_377th day of my curse, Rocio Palacio_

_Emma,_

_Today is your birthday. Tomorrow will be Henry’s. I wonder if you will remember his favorite cake. Did I give you those details, too? Or will you make your own traditions? Having both your birthdays so close, maybe you’ll stay up late with him on this night, that way it will still be yours and and you can share in his._

_He told me once that the day he collected you from Boston, you were just blowing a lonely candle on a lonely cupcake. Have you made friends who will bake you a cake you deserve and put on all the candles for you to wish upon?_

_I have been wondering today how would it be, celebrating your birthday in New York with Henry as my accomplice? Would we bake you a chocolate cake? I think we would. We would have hidden your presents because I can’t imagine you not being like our son on the matter._

_I can see your expression in his, yet so different. Happy that you are thought of, cared for, wanted. Did I take all your birthdays away from you? Did you have some good memories amongst the painful ones?_

_If I told you, Emma Swan, that I’ve been so stubborn and threatened by the very idea of you having any meaning in my life, changing it, taking my only chance at happiness from me, I didn’t realize I have fallen in love with you?_

_I have fallen in love with you, Emma. And I let you go. You and my beautiful boy who could have been ours. It wouldn’t have been such a horrible thing, to share him with you._

_You are happy. You are safe. Both of you. I can’t help them. I rage and despise myself for wanting them to succeed. To see him, to see you. To have you both remember who I am. To have him look at me like I was his mother again. And you, could you ever share, in your heart, this softness you’ve awakened in me?_

_I miss you terribly._

_You torment my nights and my dreams. With passion, with longing. I am condemned to the loneliness of wanting you, burning for a life we could have had—together. In New York, in Storybrooke. Not here. I couldn’t forgive myself or anyone if harm came to you and Henry in this land of men that isn’t good for beings of magic. Even if we managed to handle this threat. There is so much work to do, and fight to be had to evolve even a few steps toward the vastness of the potential for choice and accomplishment Earth has to offer. For you, for Henry, maybe even for me._

_Your mother is hopeful. I am afraid each day brings them closer to finding the answers they need to achieve what they have planned for you. You father left on a quest with Hook, sailing to a couple of the corners of this world to transform the Jolly Roger into a magic hat. At least Jefferson isn’t helping them in their endeavour._

_It was so reckless leaving her unprotected, pregnant as she is. I keep them safe, do not fear. She doesn’t need to know, but there are wards around the castle. I placed some on her as well. She’ll deliver soon. It’s a boy, Red said._

_Evan, ‘the young warrior’, ‘the good messenger’, ‘the rock’. She will name him after her own mother and I cannot express to you the relief. She wanted to name him Daniel for a while, she told me. There are nights I allow her to see me. I’m relieved it won’t be Leopold._

_She doesn’t say, but she is scared. I can see it in her eyes watering at each inflection of her emotions and your father isn’t there. They don’t do well when they are apart._

_I caress the hope, and how guilty a pleasure. How vile to have the will only to be swayed. Desperation is an abject creature, I will not bend to it again._

_Live, Emma. Enjoy today, tomorrow and each day of your happy ending with Henry._

_I have fallen in love with you, and it is not weakness._

_R.’_

There are traces of splattered tears on the pages. The ink has diluted and bled into stains in waves of lines that look like purple blue veins full of blood that has no more air and reflects on the paper like it does through white skin.

Emma sniffles.

She closes the journals and holds them to her chest. It burns there, in her solar plexus. Like she can’t breathe, but she can’t stop either. It just feels heavy. Like one too many blows.

She turns to her side, blowing the candle on the nightstand with a shaky breath. She can’t find the strength to close her eyes.

There’s a shift on the mattress. She senses the warmth from Ruby’s body before the touch of her skin. She feels an arm slide underneath her and then keep her tight, over her own arms, into Ruby’s body. Her other arm is wrapped around her waist, a hand curled at the pit of her rib cage, gentle and present.

Emma feels Ruby’s breath, calm on the nape of her neck. Then her nose barely touching the lobe of her ear. Their legs twine just enough to feel held and secure but not trapped or hot.

Emma isn’t good at this. But Regina has been in love with her all this time, and she wants to cry for all that has been taken from them, before they could even pause to become aware of it.

Ruby’s comfort is all that grounds her from not sobbing, and writhing, and screaming for the tenderness she barely ever guessed in a woman she knows can contain the universe within her.


	5. In the Dirt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma and her friends embark aboard the Gemstone, nervous and uneasy about not knowing their destination. The journey is not a peaceful one, and soon they have to fend for their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ **Setting** | Events in this chapter begin on day 19 after Regina’s abduction. For indication in the Queen’s entry, Regina is 34, Snow is 28 and Red is 24.]
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_‘The 5th day of Half Moon during the 1st Moon of Autumn of the 6001th Lunar Cycle,  
Dark Tower_

_Oh papi, ¿qué he hecho?_

_Tu corazón…_

_The cloud of thick purple smoke is gaining on the land. The curse is branded with my essence. Soon it will engulf White Kingdom, Brocéliande, maybe Camelot. I don’t know how much ground it can cover. It’s hungry. For my rage, for magic. I can hear its stomach rumble._

_Snow White is in labor, my little voices tell me. She can’t go with the girl. Emma._

_Emma, preciosa niña, I need to come collect you. I can’t allow you to become who you are. The sins of the mother are not the sins of the daughter. You have done me no wrong. For now._

_You won’t travel between worlds all alone. You will be safe within my curse. Cared for, but not by your mother and father, no._

_I will be free now, papi. I have won. Nothing can stop it. A new land, a new life, and none of them will know any better. But I will._

_Oh I will._

_And before the Curse takes us, I will be looking into Snow’s eyes. Her daughter to my heart. Her True Love at my feet. She will know then despair and loneliness. The truth of what it is like to have absolutely nothing left._

_Not even your own self._

_Oh papi, ¿qué he hecho?_

_Tu corazón… Yo también te maté._

_Quédate conmigo papi.’_

Emma doesn’t speak much Spanish, and she doesn’t have a smartphone with Google Translate at hand, but she knows what ‘ _Tu corazón’_ means. And _‘te maté_.’

Regina took her father’s heart. He was who she loved most. She killed him because that’s what Rumplestiltskin told her she needed to do to enact his fucking curse. Not Regina’s. His fucking Dark Curse.

She has a fleeting thought for Neal. She hopes Gold is dead. Belle and Neal, they’re looking for him. Gold got his forgiveness. He got his redemption on a platter. He killed his father and got redemption.

They had Regina kill her own mother but did she get redemption? She had to sacrifice herself, her child, her own heart to be redeemed.

Gold better be dead.

Regina killed her father.

* * *

  
She wakes before dawn. In Ruby’s arms. She turns around and comes face to face with Ruby’s opened eyes. Has she even slept?

Emma gets ready, heading down the creaking stairs after a pit stop in the shared bathroom. It’s a thing in this era of the Land of Fairytales, shared bathrooms.

In the common hall, Hook insists she eats, saying she’d be grateful later. He’s right, even if all she’s been wanting is coffee.

They gather the horses, saddled and loaded, but don’t mount them. The walk to the docks finishes the job of waking her up. Frederick whistles on seeing the Gemstone. A Verdanian-built ship for transport.

The thing looks like a floating wooden container with fancy lines. They’re Caravels, Hook tells her, for speed and power. Three masts, very big ones with large sails. But what’s impressive is that side door in the body of the ship. They’re not loading the thing from above with levers and pulleys. She’d imagined that from the few replicas and festivals she’d seen in the port of Boston. Emma loves the Old Town.

In Verdania, they have a forest of rubber trees, caoutchouc they call it, and it’s harvested by bleeding the trees, a little bit like with maple syrup but not with holes, more with gashes all around the trunks. Anyway, once heated and molded, it yields a perfectly flexible and waterproof substance, like a mix of silicon and rubber. The Verdanians put it all over their ships and they’ve designed amazing, different boats for all sort of purposes. They build entire armadas of them all along their harbors on their coastline.

This one is a transport ship with horse stables and stalls. They can even transport livestock like cows, pigs and goats. There’s a little bit of all of that on the Gemstone and in the hull of the ship, beyond the door, there are a few stalls that have been reserved for their horses.

They are the last ones to embark. Their horses and the cargo are on the lowest level of the boat. Above that are the men’s quarters, the kitchen and armory, and above that, occupying the back of the boat, pretty much above where their horses are, is the Captain’s cabin and the main outdoors deck.

The ship is a light wooden color, varnished and painted, carved with care and beautiful craft. There are decorations of different sea animals, dolphins, merfolks and humans riding hippocampuses. The ship’s figurehead is a hippocampus carved in wood with painted gems in its hair and riding gear. Beautiful.

Emma is less impressed with how this ship has been taken from their Verdanian owner. Their Captain, Captain Roxxor—she bit her tongue not to laugh out loud at that—asked his First Mate, blue-eyed-blond-haired Mr. Soderbergh from the north, to tell them the story. Hook was all ears, looking like a fish who’s found his way back to his favorite bowl.

They are shown to some fancy guests quarter but Frederick tells the Captain that they’ll be bunking with their horses down in the cargo bay.

Soderbergh scowls at them for it, but the Captain puts up a much better front.

After only a couple of hours on the ship, they’re fully at sea. Emma is fascinated by the sunrise on the ocean. The colors are mesmerizing in the ether, floating in the heat of the sun and shining on the salt of the water.

They’re advancing on the ocean waters. The ship seems to hungrily eat the waves on their path. Up and down, always forward, like a giant mouth swallowing tons and tons of water, the surplus ripples on the side of its devouring face, as it opens a way.

Emma finds a spot on the prow of the ship, out from under the crew’s legs. Ruby joins her, followed by Frederick and Kathryn. Hook stays by the helmsman, in the company of the Captain and the First Mate.

Mulan joins them with hot tea. It’s fresh and biting cold at sea in the morning.

“Drink, you’ll be happy,” Mulan says. She has Marika’s satchel, shoulder strap across her chest, resting at her side.

Emma hasn’t been on boats often enough—outside of riding a ferry occasionally—to know if she gets seasick or not, but she’s happy if her drink has been laced with a seasickness remedy in prevention.

“I don’t like boats.” Ruby is grouchy.

Emma is sitting close to her, directly on the elevated deck floor. She scoops close to be warmer.

“Are you scared of the ocean?” she whispers in Ruby’s ear.

“No,” Ruby growls. “I don’t like being trapped in a floating box.”

“You’ll be okay for a couple days?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about me.”

She does, though. Emma loves the idea of sailing. She’s always wanted to do it. It feels like freedom. It may be silly, but she also likes the idea that for once since they started on this adventure, she can be the one who cares for Ruby and not have it be the other way around.

“I’ve finished Regina’s last entry from when she was the Queen.”

“When was it?” Kathryn has come to sit with them.

Emma looks up to see Mulan and Frederick chuckling together. She can’t quite make what they’re saying with the wind and the flappings sounds of the sails and other wood creakings and ropes tightenings. Mulan is making movements with her hands, maybe she’s recounting a story.

“The day she cast the Dark Curse, Snow was in labor with me.”

“Ah,” Ruby says.

“Where were you, Red?” Kathryn asks.

It’s a good question, Emma doesn’t remember Regina mentioning Ruby much in her last few months as the Queen.

“That very day?” Ruby takes a breath. “I was running toward the cloud, to Dark Tower.”

“You wanted to stop Regina?” That sounds like Ruby.

“I figured with the chaos of approaching doom, her guard would be loose, and maybe I would have a chance at getting to her.”

“And then what? She would have killed you.” Kathryn is following the logic that goes with Regina’s very powerful persona. Because Regina is powerful, there’s no denying it. Ruby wouldn’t have been able to stop her at all.

“No, she wouldn’t have.” Emma feels compelled to say what she believes. “She wouldn’t have let you stop her, but she wouldn’t have killed you. Not you.”

“That’s new,” Kathryn says.

“Apparently, Regina has been watching over me my whole life. She made my cloak.”

“Granny knew that?” Kathryn asks.

“All along,” Ruby answers.

“You don’t sound surprised.” Emma’s intrigued.

“I knew Regina as the Queen, as she frequented my father’s court. And when your father and I were supposed to get married, Regina was—I remember being outraged that my father would give me to George’s son. Prince James had a terrible reputation. I knew I would be forced to marry, but I would have rebelled eventually.”

Emma watches Kathryn reminisce, old emotions playing out on her face.

“My first reaction when it was announced was to run. Regina found me.” Kathryn grimaces. “I was scared. She oozed rage and sarcasm through every pore. It made her dark, but the darkness she displayed, it was a lot for show. The real demons were in her eyes, torturing her. She was so angry all the time.

“But not that night. That night, she told me that I had to be smarter than that. She told me she knew I could do it. So I told her about Frederick. I was reckless I suppose. She probably liked the risk-taking. It’s not everybody who dared to look her in the eye. She told me about James being David. I was astonished. She also told me about Lake Nostos.”

Kathryn is smiling now, and so is Red.

“She told you how to save Frederick?” Emma smiles, too. Because that’s all Regina somehow. The goodness of her heart, and her feminism, seeping through the Evil Queen’s powerful grip.

“She gave me the tools so I could decide how to save myself and get what I wanted. I figured out the rest on my own. That’s also how your father and I became good friends, even if Regina would have hated that. She never interfered in my choices or in my plan.”

“I would have liked to know.” Ruby seems sad suddenly. “I love your mother, Emma, with all my heart. There were always more dimensions to their feud and to Regina’s behavior than Snow has been willing to admit. I would have liked to have understood sooner.”

Emma doesn’t tell them that Regina didn’t want to hurt her. She doesn’t tell them that her mother sent her to another world so that she could fight Snow’s battle for her, twenty-eight years later. Abandoned because Snow couldn’t face the unsettling truth about her own world, her own parents, and herself.

If she thinks about it long and hard enough, Emma supposes she will find reasons to forgive, to move on. Has Snow changed? She seems to have become closer to Regina. Somehow, Emma doesn’t doubt her mother always loved Regina more than she’s been willing to admit. Snow isn’t a terrible person, but the reasons for this change, are they the right ones? Or is it so that she can feel warm and fuzzy inside?

Emma misses Mary Margaret. The school teacher was more honest with herself and with her.

“How are you ladies faring on this fine morning?” Hook interrupts Emma’s thoughts, and apparently Kathryn and Ruby’s silence as well.

“Wonderful,” Ruby sasses him. “You seem chipper.”

“I would rather be at sea than riding a horse.”

“Obviously,” Kathryn says, cutting short his imminent babbling. “Have you secured our safety as you were entrusted?”

“Aye, I gave your token of appreciation to the Governor’s man after we boarded. I also gave the bills you signed to the Captain, so he knows to pay himself, and give the Governor the rest of his bounty.”

“I suppose it was enough?”

“It was a large sum indeed. If gold is their motive, then you ensured our safety generously.”

“Gold is nothing, Hook. Are you sure that greed is all that interests these men?”

“They’re pirates. I don’t think they care much for the Witch’s world domination plan.”

“Still, we should be on our guard.” Frederick and Mulan have come closer, they’re all standing up with their empty cups. “I think we should keep watch at night and be prepared for all eventualities.”

Kathryn wraps her arms around Frederick’s waist and presses her face to his shoulder. “We will.”

He kisses her lips. They both smile. Emma stops watching.

“Yeah, it’s the best we can do anyway.”

“The Captain refuses to share where we’re going,” Mulan says. “Most of the crew I talked to have no idea what’s going on.”

They keep to themselves for most of the day. Playing cards, drinking Mulan’s tea that ensures they don’t get sick. The sea isn’t too strong. They have bread and a bowl of stew with meat, potatoes and carrots floating in it. Leeks, too. It’s not horrendous. It makes Emma feel fortified.

In the afternoon, she goes below deck with Mulan to check on the horses. She brushes Feathers, then Bug. Mulan brushes Lad, Hook’s horse. Emma decided to name him after all, and that’s what Hook calls him every time he addresses the animal, which is not often. She then works on Khan.

Frederick joins them soon enough. He gets busy doing the same with Twinkie, his own big and dark horse, and Alicante, Kathryn pretty and well-behaved mare.

“I still can’t believe you named your horse Twinkie. That’s just too funny.”

“What? We both like sweets.” Frederick is grinning. They’ve been joking around his horse’s name since Emma asked to know both their new companions.

“It’s just, Alicante is such a princess, and Twinkie—well, Twinkie is like a big teddy.”

“Hey now, horses are not like dogs or anything, they don’t resemble their owners.”

“You named him Twinkie.” Emma bends under Bug’s neck to give a look at Frederick. “That’s got to mean something about you, you big softie.”

“What’s a Twinkie?” Mulan also bends under Khan’s neck to look at them. “And don’t stay like that too long. If Bug can’t see you in his stall, he won’t like it and if he shows his annoyance with one of his front legs you’ll be sorry.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Emma straightens up and pats Bug’s neck. The horse’s ears return to their gentle movements following her around. “A Twinkie is a nasty cake loaded with sugar and artificial flavors that are disgusting. Yet it’s—well, you can put that in the junk food category I told you about.”

“The one you shouldn’t eat yourself or feed Henry with?”

“I didn’t tell you that.”

“No, Regina did.”

“Man, I knew I should have called the horse Mocha.”

“Dude, that would be cruel. I’ve been here ten days and I could kill for a coffee. Even with no cream or sugar in it.”

“Marika Floran has been working on that notion of coffee.” Mulan switches to Khan’s other side. “Also, I think Regina likes sweets, just not the junk food ones.”

“She definitely wouldn’t eat a Twinkie.” Emma smiles imagining the face Regina would make at the thought.

“She certainly wouldn’t eat horse.” Mulan sounds offended, and so does Khan when he snorts as she does.

It takes a while after Frederick and Emma manage to get their laughter under control to explain to Mulan why what she said was so amusing to them.

Emma suspects Mulan made the joke on purpose.

* * *

  
The Captain sends a sailor to invite them to dinner. Mulan refuses for them before Hook can speak. Roxxor isn’t happy with their answer and his mood turns even more sour than it’s been since they embarked. They’re not making a friend of him.

“That was a mistake, lass,” Hook says under his breath, catching Mulan’s arm.

“Maybe it was,” Mulan says, “but I’m not a good politician, neither is Red. We would most likely have offended him much more by insulting him at his table.” She takes a step away from Hook. “He sold us his hospitality. There is no disgrace in choosing whom we take our meals with.”

“Aye, but a humiliated pirate captain is a dangerous enemy. Especially on his own ship, in front of his own crew.”

“I’m sure he will get over it,” Kathryn says. “Frederick and I will go have dinner with our dear Captain.”

She then looks at the crew members around them and points to the youngest one washing the deck.

“You.” Her tone is imperious and regal, the kind you don’t disobey. “Go, inform your Captain that my husband and I will accept his gracious invitation.”

The boy runs.

“If I were you, Hook, I wouldn’t put your hand on our friend Mulan again, unless you intend to lose your other appendage.”

He smiles and inclines his head. Kathryn and Frederick follow after the young sailor. Red gives Emma an appraising look, and Emma nods. Someone needs to babysit Hook. Emma is of a mind that they should all stick together at all times. This is the next best thing.

“I’ll go find some food with Mulan.” Red walks away.

“Are you hungry, Swan?”

“I could eat.”

“Well then let’s find something to satisfy your appetite.”

“Sure.” She’s not that excited to be on Hook duty, but someone has to be.

* * *

  
She’s sitting on the stairs between the main deck and the elevated prow deck. They had some fried fish that she can’t really place, and roasted potatoes. She’s listening to Hook tell her stories of sails and naval battles. She’s not the only one, some of the crew are gathered around them.

He’s famous, she forgets. He’s drinking from his flask here and there. She’s sipping from a cup Mulan gave her. They’re making a point of keeping hydrated, but it also feels to her as if Mulan is making sure they’re not being poisoned. She hasn’t drunk anything but tea since she got on the ship.

Which isn’t helping the restroom situation.

She was so anxious about going in there, Mulan had to accompany her. They don’t do indoor plumbing at all in the Land of Fairytales. But Mulan told her that on Verdanian ships, as on most ships built by civilized people, the latrines, although shared, are carefully emptied and cleaned on regular basis. Apparently, the crew spends most of its time cleaning, when the pirates are not maneuvering or attacking other ships.

Such is a sailor’s life, Hook had told her. It helps prevent rodent infestations, and diseases which can kill a crew in no time, like the flu. The men don’t wash all that much, but they take a good swim often to keep decent.

She’s been a little more comfortable after that. It still isn’t that inviting, but at least the guests get to use the restroom in the officers’ quarters. The room has sliding panels which open to the outside, so the smell isn’t too bad. They close them when the sea is too strong, and the youngest crew members are on latrine duties on the hour every hour during their watch. Well, on this ship they are. Same for the animal manure. The venting systems below deck are based on the same concepts. The floors also have venting holes along the walls and at certain non-vital places so that the parts of the ship that are below sea level get aired properly.

It’s really complex to make a ship liveable, and even moreso a ship like this one capable of transporting such different cargo.

“Being at sea suits you, Emma.” Hook gives her his most charming smile.

“I don’t know about that.” She might like it more if she got to do something. “I have been sitting around, waiting for time to pass.”

“If we were on the Jolly Roger, I could show you. The mood wasn’t suited to learning how to sail when we had our adventures in Neverland or coming here from New York.”

“The Jolly Roger is a cool ship.” At least discussing the boat isn’t too deep waters.

“If you’d like, I’m sure the helmsman wouldn’t object to letting a beautiful lady like you take a lesson in steering at night.”

“Thank you, but I think I’d rather enjoy the sunset before I head down.”

“Maybe once we’ve rescued the Queen, and when all this settles down, we could take a couple of days with your boy and give you both a better notion of what it is like to live at sea.”

Emma frowns. He just doesn’t stop. “Hook, I appreciate the thought, but once we have Regina back, Henry is going to want to spend time with her. And don’t forget we have a green problem to deal with.”

“Of course, you’re right.” He bows and takes a step closer. “A little rum?”

“Killian, I don’t want a drink.” Emma sighs. “I don’t want to go sailing with you.”

“I see.” He’s wounded but not deterred. “I have changed, Emma.”

“Honestly, I don’t know if you have and it’s not going to change anything for me.” She looks him in the eye.

“I am here, aren’t I? Just like I was in Neverland. I crossed worlds and many dangers so you could finally be reunited with your family.”

“And I’m grateful, I guess, but Hook—”

“Hear me out, Swan,” he says, sitting next to her. “Your parents wouldn’t approve at first, but I am not the same pirate. I have reformed. I want to be a good man for you, Emma. I’ve been living this life a long time, but you, you make me a better man. I can offer you a life that suits you, and you will never have to pretend to be a princess with me.”

“I’m never going to pretend that I’m a princess.” She puts a hand on his knee. “I’m not responsible for making you a better man and you shouldn’t need me to want that for yourself. You need to get over this idea that we could be together, because I don’t want to be with you.”

“I gave everything up to find you.” There’s hurt in his eyes. “We kissed, in—”

“And I kneed you in the balls.” She tilts her head, hopefully he’ll get it this time.

“In Neverland—”

“You pushed me, like you’re doing now, and I was upside down with fear of losing my son.”

His face isn’t showing understanding, more all the buts he has in store to keep insisting he knows better than her what she wants and needs.

“I don’t have feelings for you, Killian, and I’m not attracted to you either. Memories or not. I’d like you to understand that, respect my feelings and move on, please.”

“What does she have that I don’t?” Definitely not understanding. This is getting ugly and she’s getting pissed off.

“Look, we’re here to find Regina. Aside from that, my business with her is none of yours. All you need to know is what concerns me and you, and, although I can appreciate that you meant well bringing me here, I don’t want to be with you.” She pauses, letting the words sink in. “You got that?”

“I know what it is you are reading.” Of course he does. She rolls her eyes at him. “She will always be a villain, Swan. You don’t go that far into darkness and come back a shining light,” he snorts, condescending.

Maybe if she puts her fist into his face again.

“Don’t get me wrong, I understand the fascination one can have for the Queen. She is enticing and of a rare beauty.”

“Shut up.” She’s so quiet that, for a second, she thinks he didn’t hear her.

“Swan—” He raises his good hand up.

Emma takes a step toward him. She’s that close to unsheathing her sword and kissing his throat with it.

“You need to shut the fuck up about her. Right now.” She wants him to feel threatened. “We’re doing this to rescue Regina. If that’s not why you’re here, then you’re welcome to go your own way once we get to shore.”

“I said I would help.”

“I’m not sure I want your help that bad.” Her hand is resting on Dart. That’s how she named her single-handed, small-but-deadly crossbow.

He stands. He looks incredulous. “You would fight me for her?”

“Hook, you really don’t get it? She’s my son’s mother. She comes first, before anyone.”

“Don’t insult me by making this about your boy. You certainly don’t put Baelfire ahead of me.” He steps toward her and he has no idea. In his shadow standing atop the stairs, Ruby is watching. Her eyes are glowing the shining silver of the moon.

“Back the fuck off.” She’s quiet again. Her throat is constricted by the hot rage seizing her.

He scoffs. She rushes past him up the stairs, wraps her arms around Ruby’s neck and pushes both of them further into the shadows of the prow figurehead.

“Shhh.” Emma presses her forehead to Ruby’s. Ruby’s hands are holding her into her body, gripping tightly at Emma’s left side. One arm around her waist, hand on her hip, a hand inside her jacket feeling like hot embers on her ribs through her shirt. “Shhh, I’m okay, I promise.”

Ruby’s chest is rumbling low with a deep growl.

“We’re done now, I’m good. ’kay?”

She feels Ruby’s deep breaths in her neck and hair. Ruby nuzzles her throat. Emma gently places her hand on the back of her head, caressing Ruby’s hair.

Mulan is standing still, not two steps from them.

“I’m safe. You keep me safe.” She wishes for Ruby to relax. “Take me below deck, I’m tired. Let’s go sleep, ’kay?”

Ruby nods in her neck. Gradually she releases Emma so she can turn around and lead the way. Emma takes Ruby’s hand in hers, Mulan precedes them, opening the cabin door for them to go down the steep steps.

* * *

  
When Kathryn and Frederick find them, they’re settled in an unoccupied stall right by their horses. They’re lying on fresh yellow straw with blankets taken from their guest quarters. Ruby is curled into Emma, her head on her chest. She fell into a restless sleep listening to Mulan hum in a language Emma doesn’t understand. Emma’s drowsy herself, but she won’t stop stroking Ruby’s hair.

Kathryn lifts an eyebrow, taking in the sight in the light of the hanging lamps and the one she’s holding herself. The look is a question.

“We’re okay. How about you guys?” Emma doesn’t whisper, but Ruby doesn’t stir.

“An evening of listening to stories and pleasantries. We haven’t been given much of anything interesting. And still no idea about our destination.”

“That kind of sucks.”

“At least we know they’re not fighting in the Witch’s ranks. Only in it for the money,” Frederick says while handing a blanket to Kathryn. “You know, I would feel better if we kept the horses saddled for the night.”

“I agree.” Mulan stands but gestures to Kathryn to stay seated. “I will help.”

“Guys? Where are we gonna go?” Emma didn’t think about any other eventuality but fighting the pirates if they decide to attack their party.

“We’re only three or four miles off the coast,” Frederick says, “It would be hard, but if we managed to get into the water, we could make it to shore. Didn’t you see the lighthouse earlier?”

“I—no.”

“The lad is correct.” Hook joins them. He takes a blanket and settles down far from Emma.

“You sleep.” Mulan eyes him. “We’ll saddle the horses and take first watch.”

Emma doesn’t pull the journals from her jacket. She simply closes her eyes, holding on to Ruby. It’s not cold, but she feels that if she lets go of Ruby, Hook might not survive the night.

* * *

  
“Emma.” Ruby’s voice jolts her awake. “Something isn’t right.”

Emma wakes to see Kathryn rubbing her eyes and trying to get her bearings. Ruby walks over to Hook and kicks his booted feet.

Emma gets up and quietly joins Mulan who’s standing in the shadows.

“What’s going on?” she whispers.

“Men are gathering above us by the access door to the stairs.” Mulan has her gazed fixed away. Emma squints and discerns Frederick, crouching by the side of the stairs away from the shine of the light.

“Are they going to attack us?”

“That is the most likely intent.”

Emma walks back to the stalls. She puts her jacket on, ties Dart and her dagger to her thigh, then her light sword to her back.

Ruby has her bow and quiver, same as Kathryn. Hook joins Frederick in a few quick strides.

Emma bends low and walks to Mulan’s side. “What do we do?”

“The second we move, they’ll be alerted. We can’t fight the whole crew.” She looks at Emma, a sadness and determination in her eyes, even in the shadows. “We can only hope that they send a small party at first, take them down and make our escape.”

“What if they send in too many guys?”

“We’ll hold them off and make our escape.”

She doesn’t get a chance to argue they should just start with that and not bother with fighting, when the door opens and the first couple of pirates make their way down with a lantern.

Both Frederick and Hook slice at their legs. The first man to tumble down the stairs drops his lamp, oil spilling everywhere, setting fresh hay ablaze.

“Red,” Frederick’s voice booms, “get the door and go with Abigail and Emma.”

“Frederick!”

“Go!”

More men pour in through the door and down the steep stairs in the middle of the cargo hall, sword first this time. Emma notices two traps opening in the ceilings deeper in the belly of the ship, above barrels and wooden crates.

“Mulan, over there!” She points Dart to a man climbing down and hits him in the shoulder.

Mulan pushes her back toward the stalls, avoiding the fire spreading to their left.

“Emma, free the horses and get out.” Mulan gives her a last confident look. “We’ll be right behind you.”

“No.”

“Go.” Mulan rushes toward the prow of the cargo hall.

Emma can hear Frederick and Hook grunting as they fight.

Suddenly, a long whine from Khan attracts Emma’s attention to the horses’ stalls. The fire is propagating fast and licking at Khan legs already.

She runs to Khan and Bug, undoing the ropes holding them in place.

“Come on, boys, we gotta go.” Emma searches for Ruby but she only finds Abigail untying Alicante and Twinkie.

“Kathryn! Where’s Ruby?”

Kathryn is pulling Alicante towards the door. The fire is gaining the inside wall of the ship opposite them, where all the yellow straw was stacked.

“In there.” She points at Feathers’ and Lad’s stall.

Kathryn hands the horses’ reins to Emma and steps into the stall. Emma walks the group forward a couple of steps to see Ruby straddling a pirate as she hits him repeatedly. She has blood splattered on her face, his sword lies flat above his head.

Ruby gets up from the corpse of her assailant and hurries to the side door in the belly of the ship.

“Stay back and cover me, I’ll open it.”

Emma switches the reins of the horses to her left hand, arming Dart with the other and provides cover fire while Ruby unlocks the rope and chain mechanism of the door. She pushes hard against the wood and the top part of the door which isn’t submerged falls open easily.

Horrified, all fight participants seem to pause at the sight of the first wave of cold water washing inside the door, unfurling into the ship. Emma looks at her feet as water reaches her ankles and rises at an alarming pace.

“It’s not opening enough for us to get out.” Kathryn is as scared as Emma is.

“It’ll take more water, she will tilt then pull down.” It’s Hook who screams it over his shoulder.

Mulan, Hook and Frederick are now gathered in a half-circle at the center of the bay, shielded on their left by the roaring fire hitting the upper deck, fighting off groups of four or five pirates at a time, trying to get past them to Emma, Abigail and Kathryn on their right.

Emma aims and shoots, taking down a couple of pirates at the back, same as Kathryn who is loosening arrows.

Ruby has Feathers and Lad, and Emma is about to tell her she’s not leaving without the others when a big wave of salty water crashes into her and the agitated horses are pulling on the reins in her hands.

Thick smoke and burnt smell invades her nostrils. Seawater is putting out some of the fire at the feet of the cargo bay, but not at the ceiling. It’s getting hard to breathe.

“Abigail, get the horses in the water and mount them, they’ll swim to shore.” Frederick’s strong voice rings in their ears above swords clashing against each other.

“I’m not leaving without you.” Kathryn steps to the center of the ship in order to help her husband, but Ruby is much quicker than her and lifts her by the waist.

“Red, get them out,” Frederick orders once again as Kathryn screams at Ruby to let her go.

“Emma, come on,” Ruby urges.

She crosses gaze with Mulan, an arrow piercing through the warrior’s left arm, and realizes she needs to let go of Khan’s reins so Mulan can still make it to shore with him.

She’s destabilized and almost loses her footing when the ship finally tilts to the side and water comes raging forth. Red lurches forward with Kathryn, pulling Feathers behind them with her right arm. Emma sheaths Dart, lets go of all the horses’ reins, then grabs Bug’s and Alicante’s and runs to the water, hoping the horses will follow her lead.

The last glimpse she catches of her friends still in the cargo hold is of Frederick falling to his knee holding his middle while parrying with his sword.

The water is cold, and it seizes her, forcing short breaths out of her. She tries to swim. She’s sandwiched between Bug to her left and Alicante to her right. Alicante looks frantic while Emma tries to swim and pushes on her neck so she doesn’t get crushed or hit by the horses’ legs. They seem to be swimming, although Bug is calmer than Alicante is. The mare is kicking too fast.

“Emma!” Emma turns her head to see Ruby and Kathryn more or less riding Feathers. There’s no sign of Lad and Khan. Twinkie is following next to Alicante. These two are like their masters.

Ruby maneuvers Feathers closer to Alicante and Emma watches Kathryn get on her frightened horse.

“Get on Bug.”

She does. And she finds that instantly, the horses relax. Alicante slows down and soon they are all three swimming at the same speed. Emma tries to float as much as possible, in order to relieve Bug of her weight, but she maintains contact with him at all times.

“How much can they swim like this?”

“If they don’t panic, probably all the way to the coast.”

“Where is it? I can’t see anything.”

“The horses will know,” Kathryn says, but she’s looking back all the time.

There’s a monstrous explosion, or at least it feels that way. She can sense the blast in the water and flaming debris is projected everywhere.

“Frederick!” Kathryn screams. The horses whinny loudly and pick up the pace.

“Easy, Bug, easy.” Emma tries to calm him down. She searches the surface of the waters for any signs of their friends.

“There!” Ruby points to a couple of shadows maybe a third of a mile behind them. “They made it out.”

Emma laughs nervously. The tension is painful and she’s cold.

“Fuck, they’re not the only ones to have made it.”

“What do you see?”

“A couple of barques. They have oars.” Ruby looks ahead again. “They’re further away, they probably were on the other side of the ship, have to navigate the wreckage.”

They try to slow the horses so that the others can catch up with them, but, even then, they reach the beach ahead of them. Emma immediately dismounts, feeling Bug tremble like a leaf from the effort. Kathryn and Ruby do the same. Twinkie is still by Alicante’s side.

“Where are they? Do you see them?” Kathryn looks sick with worry.

“Over there, look!” Ruby points further down the beach, and they half-walk, half-pull the horses behind them to help bring their friends ashore.

One look at Frederick and it’s obvious he’s in a really bad shape.

“No, Frederick!” Kathryn runs ahead.

Frederick is injured, hunched in half against Khan’s neck, Mulan holding him against her and leading Khan with her injured arm.

Hook dismounts right behind them. “We have to go. It won’t be long before they give chase.”

Emma helps Mulan dismount while Ruby and Abigail take care of Frederick as gently as they can.

“He’s losing a lot of blood. We can’t ride or run.” She still has an arrow in her arm. “Emma, break the tip, will you?”

Emma does as instructed, the wood snaps in her hands. She doesn’t have time to ask what’s next as she watches Mulan pull the remaining piece of wood out of her arm. She reaches for the scarf around her neck and under her shirt, handing it to Emma.

“Tie this around my arm. Make it tight.” Emma again does as she’s told. “That’ll do.”

Mulan walks over to Frederick and uses her cotton vest to put pressure on Frederick’s wound. She asks Ruby for her belt, which she ties around his middle. He’s barely conscious.

“You go…”

“Don’t be an idiot. I’m not going anywhere without you.” Kathryn won’t have any of it.

“We can’t stay here, he’s right about that.” Ruby is looking above Mulan’s shoulder to the pirates closing in.

“Let’s mount him on Twinkie, and the rest of us can run with the horses. We’ll make a break for the forest.”

Ruby and Mulan do exactly that. Mulan leads Twinkie toward the forest. Emma catches Khan’s and Bug’s reins and follows quickly, as do the others.

They run for what feels like forever and finally break into a meadow of trees. They’re not rubber trees as far as Emma can tell, but it’s dark and they have no torches to guide them.

“Do you think the pirates will follow us in this mess during the night?” she asks out loud, to no one in particular.

“They’ll stop to make torches, but they’ll try to track us,” Hook says.

“No matter, we need to stop.” Mulan’s voice is pained. “Frederick is losing too much blood and the horses are exhausted.”

They make it maybe a couple of miles off the beach, and it’s never going to be enough. They come to a halt, Kathryn and Mulan checking if Frederick is still conscious.

“Emma.” Ruby approaches her and hands her Feathers reins. “I’ll double back and take care of our problem.”

“Can you do that and make it in one piece?”

“Yes.” Ruby’s tone is dark and tired, but she sounds determined to protect them. “Mulan, I can hear water running maybe half a mile west, in that direction.” She points with her arm as she starts undressing with her other hand. “Get them there and I’ll find you when it’s done.”

“Very well.”

Ruby takes the rest of her clothes off, folds them in a pack and hands them to Emma. Everything they own is wet and they’re drenched.

“You’ll be back, right?” Emma doesn’t like to see her go at all. Especially not for what she’s going to do. There’s a good twenty pirates behind them.

“Of course, Em.” Ruby strokes her cheek with her thumb. “You guys might as well make a fire and get dry.”

* * *

  
They walk the extra half-mile cautiously. They can hear screams behind them, further and further away. Red is roaming free and she has no intention of showing mercy.

Until silence takes over.

They find the river as Ruby indicated, and choose a bank that is well protected by trees and roots. Once Frederick is lying down and more or less comfortable, Emma tends to the horses with Hook while Mulan makes a fire. Kathryn ensures Frederick stays conscious. He is in a lot of pain.

They boil water, and the first thing Mulan does is to look for what is salvageable in Marika’s satchel. There’s not much, apart from a couple of powders and ointments. The herbs and bandages are done for. So are all of Mulan’s teas. The sewing kit will work, and they still have enough rum in Hook’s flask for antiseptic.

Mulan works in silence, hanging bandages to dry over the fire, pouring rum over Frederick’s wounds. The sword went through. Emma is no doctor, but there’s no doubt an organ has been compromised. He has blood trickling down the corner of his mouth, and he’s getting paler by the second.

The bleeding doesn’t stop, none of the powders are for that. Mulan bandages him firmly with more of the dried pieces of fabric, but it’s a surgeon Frederick needs, and Mulan isn’t one.

He’s already going into shock, sweating and shaking.

Ruby returns eventually, exhausted, covered in blood. A vision of apocalypse in the dancing flames of the campfire. She steps into the stream of the river and washes quickly. Emma gets her her shirt and pants she’s put up to dry right away. They’re damp, but she’s covered.

Mulan leaves Frederick’s side to come to theirs.

“How bad is it?” Ruby is worried.

“The sword pierced him through. He won’t make it through the night.”

Mulan’s words fall as a sentence Emma knew was coming. It doesn’t hurt any less.

“Isn’t there anything we can do?” She has to ask.

“Em, even if you knew how, your doing magic could give you away, and then we would all be dead.” Ruby looks sad but resolved. “You know what Regina said.”

“Red is correct, Emma. You can not use your magic, and, even if you did, he’s lost so much blood, it’s already too late.” Mulan pauses. “He is in a lot of pain.”

“Fuck.” They’re stranded in the middle of fuck knows where and there seems to be no help in sight. “Do we know where we are? Can we move him to a hospital or something?”

“We’re in Verdania, if my estimations are correct.” Hook has made himself discreet so far. “Not far from Brocéliande. Maybe a day from Welkinforge.”

“There are no hospitals in reach, Em.”

Emma takes a deep breath. She wants to scream. She wants to be back in New York and not ever look back. She wants Regina. And Henry’s smile, even if he calls her Ma.

“We need to talk to Kathryn,” she says.

They walk back to Kathryn who is seated on the ground by Frederick’s side, holding his hand. Tears are dripping from her face as she kisses his knuckles and strokes his face.

“Shhh, my love, keep your strength.”

“You are so strong, Abigail, I love you so much for it.” He coughs a little, and winces. “You must go forward. Go on without me.”

“I love you too, Frederick. I always have.” Kathryn speaks calmly, she tries to smile, and Frederick smiles back to her.

“Promise me.” He tries to lift his fingers to her face but he doesn’t have the strength anymore. He coughs more blood and a low moan gurgles in it. “Promise me.”

He’s exhausted. His head falls back a little more.

“I promise.” Kathryn stifles a sob by kissing his lips gently.

Emma isn’t as courageous as Mulan. She’s not strong as Ruby or Red. She wishes she didn’t have to speak, but maybe she needs to be the one to say the words. Kathryn might hate her, but it’s her burden and her decisions that lead them here and now.

“Kathryn,” she says it with as much gentleness as she can. “Fred.”

“It’s not looking good, huh, Em?” Frederick is a good, good man. Even as he dies, and that’s just so fucking wrong.

“No.” She keeps her head cast low but she looks him in the eye. “No, it isn’t.” Emma looks at Kathryn, too. “You’re in shock. You lost a lot of blood, and the pain is only going to get worse.”

He lifts his left fingers and Emma takes his hand in hers right away.

“Don’t… don’t do… anything,” he’s struggling to talk, “with your magic.”

Emma looks at Kathryn. “I’ll try, if you want me to.”

“Mulan,” Frederick calls.

“I’m here, Frederick.” Mulan is beside Kathryn, in his line of sight.

“You wait… until I can’t talk,” he wheezes. “And then you do… what you have to do.”

Kathryn’s tears and pain are deforming her face. She holds Frederick’s hand. Mulan places hers on theirs, she nods.

Mulan rummages through their things. She finds a cup, and pours a large amount of a white powder in it, with fresh water. Emma wonders what it is. She comes back by Emma’s side, Ruby having taken her place by Kathryn’s.

“Go back to Earth… if it comes to that.” Frederick is only looking at Kathryn now, a smile on his lips. “Be… Kathryn.” He coughs more, but no blood spills this time. “It makes you happier.”

“I wanted to go with you.” Kathryn’s voice breaks and, with it, Emma’s heart.

“I… will always… be with you.” His smile is shining so bright as his skin grays and his lips turn blue.

Mulan kneels again behind Frederick’s head and uses her knees to prop him up slightly. She brings the cup to his lips. “Drink, it’ll help you drift and take the pain away.”

So he does as she tilts the cup. He coughs more but swallows most of the liquid in a couple of gulps. Mulan dabs at his face and mouth, wiping the blood off the side of it.

“And I will always love you.” Kathryn looks at Mulan in what seems like an agonizing silent scream, nodding just once. Then she kisses Frederick one more time. She’s tender and gentle when she rests her cheek against his, and whispers in his ears, about their love, and memories of how they always understood each other.

Emma feels terrible, yet compelled to witness the heart-wrenching goodbyes of her friends. This loss will be a painful one, for all of them. Frederick became her friend in a short time. She already misses that she won’t get to know more of him. To see him be a father. To meet him in a world where they’re not going to war and they have time to just live life.

Frederick’s breathing slows but still wheezes. His features relax and his eyes flutter shut. He doesn’t speak anymore.

Mulan produces a thin and long dagger. Slowly she moves it to Frederick’s left side, under his arm. Where his heart is. Emma can’t see precisely, because Kathryn’s body is hunched over Frederick’s chest, her face in his neck.

So Emma looks at Mulan, whose eyes are filling with tears she won’t shed. She swallows a couple of times, her gaze fixed on Emma’s.

There’s the swift movement of Mulan’s arm. The sound of knife penetrating flesh. Frederick’s chest rises in a whistle of air. A long exhale escapes his mouth. His body relaxes, lifeless.

Frederick dies. In the dirt. In pain. In love.

In Kathryn’s tears.


	6. This Is Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The shock of loss, and barely making it out of the pirate shipwreck alive, shakes Emma and her friends deeply. They are forced to come up with ways to cope, and keep steady on their quest to find Regina. The group devises a new plan to find the Wicked Witch's army.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ **Setting** | Events in this chapter begin on day 22 after Regina’s abduction.]
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Kathryn clings to Frederick for at least two hours. None of them has the heart to separate her from him.

Emma and Ruby go through all of their packs, rinsing their clothes and hanging them on branches to dry. Anything else that can’t dry is more or less ruined. The swords and arrows, including her smaller ones for Dart, are laid out too. They also rinse all of the horses’ tack, so the leathers don’t mark.

Emma is exhausted, but it helps to do something with her hands. They lead the horses to drink in the river and roll around so they can rub off the salt from their coats once the sun sneaks up on them.

Hook helps with his own things, and he comes back and forth carrying wood which he stacks neatly when he doesn’t feed the fire.

Mulan stays beside Kathryn. Quiet, not too close, but never far. She is the one to cover Frederick with a blanket when Kathryn, too emotionally exhausted to say a word or even cry anymore, finally lets go of his body. .

She’s sitting by the fire. Mulan manages to get her to drink fresh water, and sits in silence beside her.

Ruby has hunted, returning with a wild pig. She’s done the dirty work, washed the meat and even found herbs to season it. Breakfast smells pretty good. Emma thinks for a moment she ought to feel bad, and not want to eat, but she can’t help the feral need to give energy to her body. They have swum four miles, walked almost three, haven’t slept and have been wet for hours. They’re in shock, and their basic needs of survival have kicked in now all the adrenaline has gone.

It’s well into the morning when they finally sit down around the second fire Ruby built with Hook to roast the pork. She’s made a thyme infusion and sweetened it with honey left from Granny’s survival pack. It was in a jar with a tight cap. The sugar is gone.

They eat in silence. Kathryn doesn’t. She drinks the hot infusion Mulan places in her hands. She drinks slowly and absentmindedly, like she’s somewhere else.

Emma can’t help but glance at Frederick’s covered body a little away from them. She wonders what they’re going to do now. With him. With finding Regina.

When they’re done eating, they’re still silent. They drink, each of them absorbed in their own thoughts. Then Hook takes a swig from his flask.

“We might need that for Mulan’s arm,” Ruby all but growls at him.

“Aye, I forgot.” He replaces the lid on the bottle but doesn’t put it back in his coat’s inside pocket.

“You want to tell us what happened back there?” Ruby is looking at him with murder, her fury rising fast.

“I don’t know what happened.”

“Bullshit! You said we would be safe, that the Governor gave you his word.”

“He did!” Hook stands. Ruby does, too. “I don’t know why they attacked us. They were supposed to take us to the Witch’s army!”

He’s lying. Emma’s internal lie detector pings so hard, she feels a flash of hot anger bubble in her chest.

“You’re fucking lying,” she says, scrabbling to her feet. “Killian, what did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything, Emma.” He’s still lying. “I swear, I didn’t know they would attack us.”

“Lies, lies, lies.” She walks around the fire to him. She catches Mulan standing up and placing a hand on Ruby’s chest.

“I don’t know what you’ve done, Hook,” she says. Whatever he did, he lied about it and he got Frederick killed. “But you better spit it out right fucking now.”

“Look,” Hook says. He’s feeling guilty, it’s plain on his face. “When we were on the Skull, Mulan and I went to the Governor. We talked to him—”

“We didn’t talk to him,” Mulan says. “You did. I waited for you with the rest of the guests while you went with him in his office.”

Hook’s hesitation is palpable.

“Hook,” Emma’s interrogation techniques kick in, her tone turning gentler, “what did you discuss with him?”

“I reminded him of the favor he owed, and he reminded me of the bounty he wanted from me.”

“Okay, and we paid that for you with the gold you gave him, plus a generous gift.”

“Aye, the bribe was more than enough to cover all of it.”

“What are you not telling me?” She’ll get to the bottom of it.

“The governor told me the location of the Witch’s army,” Hook says, raising his hand flat, trying to appease them. “He offered transport and I agreed to it.”

“You mean to tell us you knew?,” Ruby seethes. “You knew all along where the camp was and we could have gone on our own?”

“The Witch has been on the loose for almost two years. I didn’t think one day or so of extra travel would change anything. It seemed safer to accept his offer than refuse the pirates’ hospitality.”

“It wasn’t your decision to make!” Ruby screams at him.

“You are lying again,” Mulan observes. “I think you were stalling for time to try and talk Emma into accepting your advances on her. You think that Emma refuses you because she wants Regina. You manipulated us for your own selfish desires.”

Emma is rigid with anger.

“Where?” Emma’s voice is quiet and menacing.

“Tell us where the army is.” Ruby’s lips are upturned in a smile that is downright scary. She’s going to rip him apart. “Tell us now or I promise you I will tear your every limb until you do.”

Hook is looking at Emma. Maybe he thinks she’ll help him.

He sighs. “They’re camped out in Welkinforge. South from here. Maybe a half day from Brocéliande’s border, at the edge of the Enchanted Forest. North west of the first Gaping Mine. King George has allied himself with the Witch.”

“King George has been sitting at the alliance Round Table in Camelot.” Mulan’s eyes narrow. “The Governor told you about this and you kept it to yourself?”

Emma steps up to him and punches him straight in the face. She feels his nose crunch under her knuckles. She rather enjoys the geyser of blood that pours through his fingers as he cups his face.

“For fuck’s sake, Swan!”

“Frederick died!” She can barely breathe from wanting to punch him again. “And there’s a backstabbing bastard sitting at my parents’ table and telling the Witch all that they’re planning to prepare and stop her!”

He fallen to one knee but quickly stands as she advances on him again. He cowers backwards, finding purchase on the trunk of a tree. He bends over in submission.

“Aye, and I am sorry.”

“Regina is maybe being tortured right now, and you’re sorry?! You thought we could just let her rot an extra day or two?!”

At least he has the decency to look contrite.

“You are endangering all of these people’s lives. My son’s life. Mine, too. And you say you love me, that I make you a better man?” Emma is disgusted with him. He better get it this time. “Fuck you, Hook!”

“You betrayed all of us.” Mulan has come closer to Emma, the disdain in her tone saying a lot of what she thinks. “You have Frederick’s blood on your hands. His death is on you. You can’t be trusted, Killian Jones. You have no honor.”

“How do we deal with him?” Emma asks, because it’s on the tip of Mulan’s tongue and, really, she’s right.

“I had to kill a good twenty men because of him last night.” Ruby’s eyes are shining with moonlight in the waking sky above them. “Another dead pirate isn’t going to change much of anything.”

Ruby stalks toward Hook, but Mulan gets in front of her, raising her hands, pushing on Ruby’s arm and chest to restrain her. Emma’s attention is caught by the swift motion of Kathryn’s white shirt in her black leathers.

Mulan and Ruby turn simultaneously, following Emma’s gaze. All three watch in what feels like slow motion, as Kathryn pulls Hook up by the front of his shirt.

She grabs a fistful of leather and shoves him back against the tree trunk with a loud thud. His skull hits hard enough to get a yelp out of him.

Before he or any of them can react, Kathryn flashes her dagger to his exposed throat. His mouth is open. A sound gurgles and dies on his lips. Blood sprays Kathryn’s face.

Kathryn has slit his throat in a sharp continuous red line. A gaping wound vomiting blood in arterial waves.

Hook slides to the ground, lifeless, his eyes revolved and a mask of horror instantly setting into death.

“That is how we deal with him.” Kathryn wipes her dagger on Hook’s vest before sheathing it. “We have to cremate Frederick before we go anywhere.” She looks down at her feet. “Him, we leave to rot.”  


* * *

  
They do exactly that.

It takes time to prepare the funeral pyre. And wood, a lot of wood. They work in silence for several hours, gathering about two hundred pounds of wood, including logs from a couple of dry dead trees they find deeper in the forest. Mulan chops it all with her one good arm, then she and Kathryn arrange the pyre. Ruby disappears off and comes back carrying a weathered barrel of lamp oil.They move their few remaining possessions and the horses as far away as they can. They can’t afford to lose anything else.

It’s well past midday when they stand in front of the pyre. Solemn and quiet. Mulan and Ruby place Frederick in the center of it. Mulan makes sure his face is clean. She hasn’t placed his sword by his side. Draconian tradition is for the dead to be burnt in their clothes, simple and barefoot, with none of their possessions.

Emma wonders if they will say anything, a prayer or a farewell. At first it doesn’t seem like Kathryn will say a word, but she does.

She takes a deep breath. “May the fire deliver you from your mortal prison and your soul reach the sun and the moon, free in the sky with the dragons.

“I love you—” a sob interrupts her.

Emma finds Kathryn’s hand and laces their fingers. Mulan turns to her, silent tears on her cheeks. She doesn’t speak, that’s not what Mulan does. Kathryn leans into Mulan’s shoulder, but she never lets go of Emma’s hand.

“We’ll remember you.” Emma’s voice isn’t very loud but she tries to be brave. “We’ll tell the stories of how you saved our lives, and how we would have never made it without you. You were a good, good man.” She pauses and swallows, because, fuck, this hurts and it’s hard and it should have never happened. “A good husband and a good friend. And we’ll miss you.”

Ruby steps to the pyre with a torch. They’ve poured oil all over Frederick. It’s scented, not like a gas smell, more citrusy. Emma hopes that it will cover the scent of Frederick’s burning body.

Death has a revolting smell. Burning death is somehow worse. She was scared it was going to smell like food, but it only makes her gag. The wind is low, and at least it’s not blowing in their direction. They move back from the smoke and the stench.

Emma stands by Kathryn, holding her hand tightly for as long as she can. She promises herself she won’t flinch before Kathryn does.

Ruby is the first one to leave. She goes for the river and pukes her guts. Kathryn goes to her.

It’s well into the night when the fire of the funeral pyre dies down. Maybe ten hours have passed. They eat, their first food since the thyme infusion Mulan gave them before dawn.

Emma takes first watch, but nobody sleeps. They don’t talk much either. Emma finally closes her eyes when Ruby takes second watch, just before the first light of dawn. She dozes a little, doesn’t settle.

It’s been twenty-three days since Regina was taken, thirteen since Emma left Henry at Rocio Palacio. The urgency of finding Regina and getting back to Henry never leaves her. It tugs at her heart in all the tender places.

Emma walks to the river, sheds her pants and her shirt, and dives into the water. She washes, feeling the fresh water clean her. It’s cold but so clear. She can see her feet then deeper to the dark bottom of the river, peppered with white stones, shining when they’re caught in the morning light.

When she walks back to the campfire, everyone is awake. Ruby has scavenged wild berries, mushrooms and eggs that are sizzling in the frying pan from Granny’s pack. She’s also roasting something that looks like a chicken.

“Did you get into someone’s chicken coop?” Emma isn’t joking but Ruby gives a small chuckle anyway.

“No, wild turkey of sorts. Just laid some eggs, so I took the opportunity. Protein is good for us. Found some nice berries and the mushrooms last night.”

“It smells nice.”

Ruby serves their plates. Emma takes hers and one for Kathryn and sits next to her.

“Will you eat?” She gives Kathryn her best puppy dog look.

Kathryn nods. They eat slowly, but everyone finishes their breakfast.

“We need to move,” Ruby tells them gently. “The beach will be discovered soon, and we will, too.”

Kathryn nods again.

“Do you think you could find the army camp in Welkinforge?” Mulan asks Ruby.

“I think I could, yes. It’s not like he marked it on the map but I can pick up their scent or their track if I get close enough. Men in groups are not the most discreet. I think we should head west into Brocéliande, make camp there, and then I’ll run to find the Witch’s army. We must be less than one or two days from it.”

“Will we be safe on magic folk’s territory?”

“Yeah, I’m a werewolf, and Emma has magic. Nobody will bother us.” Ruby gathers their plates to clean up. “Regular humans don’t venture into Brocéliande much. It’s the safest we’re going to be as long as we keep low.”

“Aren’t we going to waste time, though?” Mulan is thinking what Emma is thinking.

“You’re injured,” Kathryn says.

“It’s nothing.”

“It is something. And Red is right,” Kathryn seals the deal.

“All right then, it’s settled. We follow Ruby’s plan.” Emma stands, deciding to get busy.

They pack their remaining things, which have all dried. They’ve lost enough that their comfort will take a hit, but it’s the loss of Marika’s potions and medicines that worries Emma most.

Emma first gathers her own things, then Frederick’s. She also goes through Hook’s. She takes his telescope, his sextant and his compass. The sextant has something magic about it, she can feel it. They’ve already emptied his pockets and gathered his weapons. Mulan has covered him with his blanket and some branches, but they won’t do anything else.

Emma is surprised scavengers haven’t shown up yet, but maybe their presence, especially the wolf among them, is dissuasive.

She moves on to the horses, getting them ready like Mulan has shown her. She works on Twinkie and Lad first. There’s no way they’re leaving them behind. She ties Frederick’s belongings and Granny’s pack to Twinkie. Then she figures out how to attach the small barrel containing the last of the lamp oil to Lad’s side along with the lamps Ruby brought back. By the time she’s finished with them, Mulan returns to help her. She carries a leather pouch over to Alicante’s side.

“What is that?”

“Frederick’s ashes,” Mulan says.

Her arm is hurting her, Emma can tell. She’s wincing.

“You shouldn’t be doing that for now.” Kathryn takes over readying Khan and Feathers.

Mulan puts the pouch in one of Kathryn’s saddle bags. She is stoic and resolved. Frederick’s death cannot be in vain. They have to find Regina.

They work in silence after that. Mulan checks after her to make sure she’s saddled the horses properly. They need to be cinched again now they’ve have their saddles on for a little while, something to do with their bellies being inflated at first. Mulan explained it all when they first rode out. She also checks that everything is secured and balanced on the horses.

Once Ruby finishes packing her own things and makes sure the fires are put out, they mount and depart.  


* * *

  
When they emerge on the Brocéliande side of the Enchanted Forest late that night, they follow Ruby to a deserted cave in a hillside. It overlooks a small branch of the Wādī al Wa’id, the River of Promise _._

Mulan shows Emma her map. The Wa’id river rises in Welkinforge, then cuts through Mahtab, the Moonlight Kingdom _,_ Yasmin’s land. The river ends at Agrabah, Mahtab’s capital city.

Welkinforge itself is a flat land but for a few hills and valleys, alternating green prairies and gaping mouths of ceilingless mines. The capital is built around Starforge Castle, and there are no large settlements except for a harbor and a town close to Mahtab’s border.

Their target area is in the north-western part of the country, right above the first mine closest to the Enchanted Forest.

They get settled and eat.

“I’ll go,” Ruby says. “I might not be back by morning. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

“Should you leave us signs?” Emma is worried.

“It’ll slow me down, and I don’t want to attract unwanted attention.”

“If you don’t get back here within a day from midnight, we’ll get on your trail,” Mulan says. It’s not up for discussion.

“All right, I’ll make sure to be back by then.” Ruby smirks just a little. “Just because because you need your beauty sleep.”

“And don’t you get near them or try to get to Regina on your own.” Emma stands to be at eye level with Ruby. Almost. “I mean it, Rubes.”

“Yeah, I know.” Ruby is taking her clothes off already. “You guys stay put, get some rest.”

She kisses Emma on the forehead, hands her the usual bundle of clothes, and scampers off in the massive dark brown and silver form of Red. Emma looks after her, standing with her clothes in her arms, lost in thought for a few moments.

They’re getting close, she hopes. She wants to find Regina so badly, but she can’t shake her worry for Ruby. And Mulan’s arm. And Kathryn’s near permanent silence. Grieving.

“She will be all right, Emma,” Mulan says.

“Yeah.” She turns to Mulan. “We should look at your arm and change your bandage and all. I’ll go get more water.”

She folds Ruby’s clothes neatly, then gets a pot and the kettle Mulan uses for their tea. They found wild peppermint on their way, also some flowers and herbs, and nettles which Mulan insisted on gathering as well.

When she returns, she puts the kettle and the pot on the fire. They’ve put together a hanging rail with a metal bar Granny gave them. The bar rests between two uprights made from sticks of equal height tied into a solid V shape. They also have a grid to put atop the logs and rest a pan or a pot on. It’s a bit heavy but it makes camping easier.

They wait for the water to boil, then Emma puts all the dirty bandages in the pot.

Kathryn is trying to study Mulan’s wound by lamplight, while Mulan crushes some nettles for juice and mixes it with some of the powder she’d given Frederick, some lemon juice and some honey.

“That looks yucky,” Emma says.

“The honey will help the skin heal, citrus is a good antiseptic, and nettle juice will help kill any infection and crawling things,” Mulan says.

“That’s neat. Did Marika teach you all these things?”

“I had to learn a lot on my own, but Marika Floran taught me many new things since I have come to Rocio Palacio.”

“I think the arrow might have nicked your bone and created a micro fracture to your arm.” Kathryn frowns as she tends to Mulan. The skin is purple with a very nasty bruise, and there’s swelling, although the wound itself looks clean. Mulan can’t move it a lot and the pain is greater than she lets on.

“We should immobilize that arm and have you wear it in a sling.” Kathryn is gentle examining the wound, “But first, you need stitches.”

Emma winces just at the thought of it. Poor Mulan is going to hurt.

“Emma, rinse a pan out with boiling water. Then pour some rum into it and heat it up with the needle and scissors in it. We’ll flame the instruments when it’s hot enough.”

She does as she’s told, then watches Kathryn soak some thread in rum. She also brushes her hands with a wet cloth.

“We need to be sparing with the rum,” Mulan tells them.

“Yes, but you can have some quinine right away.” Kathryn nods toward Emma.

Some jars of white quinine powder survived the shipwreck, so Emma pours a cup of fresh water and mixes in a couple of spoons of quinine.

Mulan drinks it up.

“Emma, sit by her side and hold her.” Mulan gives Kathryn a look as if to say she can take it, but Kathryn holds her gaze. “This is going to hurt.”

Emma sits behind Mulan and wraps her tightly into her body, keeping Mulan’s left forearm in the grip of her hand so that Mulan can’t jerk it while Kathryn does her sewing. Kathryn retrieves the pan with the needle and scissors and holds it close enough to the flames that it catches fire.

She waits long enough not to burn herself, the pan at her side, the thread in the cloth wet with rum in Mulan’s lap. She puts the thread through the needle’s eye, dabs Mulan skin with alcohol and pierces it to make a couple of stitches on each side of the wound.

Mulan grits her teeth through it, only letting out stifled moans and whimpers. When Kathryn is done, Mulan rests her head against Emma for a little while. She’s sweating and breathing deeply.

Kathryn applies a large amount of the poultice mixture to a thick pad of cotton sheet she then presses to Mulan’s skin. It’s large enough that it wraps around Mulan’s bicep to cover the entry and exit wounds from the arrow.

She then cuts one of Hook’s shirts. Using long strips of the sleeves and the front and back of the shirt she sews together an intricate modern looking sling that she helps Mulan into.

“There,” Kathryn says. “You need to rest now. We’ll check it again in the morning.”

“You two sleep, I’ll watch.” Emma disentangles herself from Mulan. She helps them get their mats next to each other.

Emma feeds the fire, then reads an entry from Regina’s journals. After the shock of Frederick’s death and then getting all their things out to dry, Emma had an internal meltdown at the idea that all of Regina’s words would be gone, washed away by the ocean waters. Turns out the journals must have protective spells on them, because they’re waterproof. Not even the exterior leather cover was wet.

Reading Regina feels like balm on her heart, a comfort she feels guilty about. She looks up in Kathryn’s direction. She’s asleep, leaning into Mulan’s good side. Emma extinguishes the flame from the lamp to save on oil. She’s going to stay outside their cave, which luckily for them is vast enough and has a large ceiling that minimizes the smoke coming out of it without suffocating them.

She can’t take a lamp outside with her, she doesn’t want to be spotted in the dark. The moon looks like it’s close, and it’s definitely growing bigger. It’ll be full moon soon enough. Hopefully they’ll have found Regina and gotten back by then.

The night is slow to pass. Emma fights sleep valiantly, but she finally succumbs to a fitful slumber, filled with burning flames and images of Regina, red marks from electrodes on her temples. The dreams wake her up with the first rays of dawn.

Hook had done that. She never really took the time to dwell on it, not with Henry gone missing. Come to think of it, Regina never reacted to Hook much either. Did she think it was a deserved punishment for Greg’s father? Emma loathes that she actually indulged Hook by kissing him. She should have taken care of Regina instead.

Emma’d been so blinded, so careless. She wonders how much of Regina’s feelings for her are due to fond memories, knowing they’ll never see each other again. She’s not sure she’d forgive herself, if she were in Regina’s shoes.

Kathryn and Mulan are still safely inside and asleep. They haven’t moved an inch. Emma wonders if she can manage to get them something to eat for breakfast and lunch. She remembers a fishing line set on a piece of wood in Hook’s stuff.

She goes straight for Lad’s saddle bags and finds what she’s looking for. It comes with a hook and some weights immediately close to it in an intricate work of knots. The line is long and rolled up on a piece of wood with curved ends. Emma walks down to the river with her weapons, the fishing line and the box that goes with it. She also takes the big pot they used to boil the bandages during the night. Those have dried up and the pot needs cleaning anyway.

She sets up, using some shiny lure she finds in the fishing box. She hopes for the best; she’s never really done the fishing thing before.

It only takes an hour or so for Emma to catch six pretty decent looking fishes that she hopes are going to taste good. She fumbles for a moment with the idea of how she’s going to kill the damn things. She doesn’t want to let them die from being out of the water, it sounds really cruel. Keeping them alive in the cauldron isn’t an option either. Emma opts for cutting in their gills then from the head down to the tail in their bellies to clean them up. It does the job pretty quickly but she doesn’t like having to do it at all. The smell alone makes her empty stomach heave a little.

Emma returns with the fish on sticks, and it’s good enough for breakfast and lunch a few hours later. They were trout, Mulan tells her, congratulating her on a good job.

The day is uneventful. Mulan gets fresh poultice bandages and her arm is back in the sling. Emma keeps busy with the horses. She used to be scared, but now their presence is comforting. She talks to Bug as she’s taken to doing, and Twinkie, who she hopes isn’t missing Frederick too terribly. She wonders if horses mourn, and it turns out that they do. Mulan tells her that, too, while she watches Emma around Khan.

Emma wishes Mulan had a Mushu in the Land of Fairytales, to brighten the mood a little. There’s something else that bothers Mulan. The pirates are ferrying gunpowder for the Witch’s men. There’s not much they can do about it but store the information as they do for the betrayal of King George. They’ll rush the news to the Alliance as soon as they can.

Ruby returns around dinner time with two still-squirming rabbits and announces proudly she found the trail; she can lead them to the army camp.  


* * *

  
They leave right away and spend most of the night riding through the forest. Riding at night is not what Emma prefers, the horses either, but they need to make progress. There’s no time to waste. They go slowly enough that the moon and lit torches they carry help them through the woods.

When Ruby announces the scent is much stronger, they dismount and extinguish their torches. They walk up until they have the camp in sight, but not too close.

“How do we do this?” Emma asks. She’s eager to storm in there and fight her way through to get Regina. She’s not suicidal, though, so she asks instead and calms herself.

“Mulan, you should stay here with the horses.” Ruby looks at Mulan, who’s making a sour face. “Maybe Emma and I should go check it out.”

“Why don’t you get closer, see if you can find Regina’s scent?” Emma suggests. “Is there some kind of command tent? Or prisoners’ zone?”

“If we can get near, I’m sure there is. They’re close enough to the mine that they could be keeping her there, don’t you think?” Ruby asks.

Emma is not feeling anything magical, not like she did entering Brocéliande. It never occurred to her when she was in the Enchanted Forest the last time, or even in Storybrooke, but now that she has learned a little and spent time apart from Regina, she is aware that, since Neverland, she can sense magic a lot better, especially Regina’s.

There’s nothing coming from the camp, but they’re a good half-mile away in the forest, so they need to get closer.

“Let’s go, Emma and I will stay in the shadows and, Red, you run around.” Kathryn has her bow handy, her dagger on one hip and Frederick’s dagger on the other. “If we have to go in, then Emma and I will try to infiltrate the camp to see what we can find.”

They nod in agreement, although Mulan doesn’t seem happy at all to let them go on their own.

“Don’t do anything rash,” Mulan says. “This is only scouting.”

Red runs closer to the camp. It’s nighttime and there isn’t a lot of activity. It’s large, though. Long wooden pikes have been erected around the rows of soldiers’ tents and a couple of paddocks full of horses to dissuade anyone from trying to enter anywhere other than through the four gates which are guarded by sentries and dogs. More, less strategically important structures spread out beyond the guarded compound. Camp followers, or maybe just whatever settlement was here before them.

It’s the dead of night, and only the watchtowers are lit. They have catapults and what looks like cannons, too. Mulan was right to be worried.

Emma can’t sense anything. She focuses, careful not to tap into any of her buzz, just to be opened to anyone else’s. She finds Red in her mind. That’s kind of cool, kind of strange.

Red approaches them again after a good hour of roaming around. A few of the dogs barked here or there, but nothing decisive enough that the men roused in alarm.

“Anything?” Kathryn asks as Ruby changes back so they can speak.

“Nothing,” she says, frustrated. “I picked up men scents, cattle, goats, chickens and dogs, the horses, even the forges and the kitchens. There were a few women’s scents, at the healers’ tent and other ones at the local drinking hole slash brothel.”

“Okay.” Emma’s feeling of dread is growing. “What about a prison or something?”

“I found the armory, the prison, and even the goddamn barber,” Ruby growls. “Nothing.”

“We should find the command tent.” Kathryn sounds determined. “She can’t be far off.”

“If she’s even in the mine.” Emma ponders. “Ruby, can you smell magic?”

“Sorta, yeah. Definitely Regina’s.”

“I don’t sense anything else but you being magical around here.”

“That’s no good.” Ruby is worried, too.

“If they had Regina here, they would need something magical to stop her from using her powers, no?”

“Most definitely,” Kathryn says. “An artefact or a spell, but she would be incapacitated.”

“The Witch came herself to take Regina away, she wouldn’t let her out of her sight.” Emma lets her deductive skills lead her thoughts. “I wouldn’t if she was my prisoner. It’d be really stupid.”

“I’ll run to the mines,” Ruby offers. “They need checking anyway.”

“What about flying monkeys, Rubes?”

“What about them?”

“Did you sense any?”

“No, no magical creatures, monkeys or wolves.”

“That’s really weird, I don’t like it.”

“You think she’s not here,” Kathryn says.

“I think if I had a whole army of magical creatures doing my bidding, I’d keep them close to me and most likely the most powerful witch in this world as well. Even if I’m on a power trip that’s gone to my head and I think I’m the greatest.”

“Do we sabotage their camp?” Kathryn’s pushing for action, like she needs something done during the night.

“If we do that, they’ll move elsewhere,” Emma says. “I’m tempted to blow their weapon stash, but they’ll just know that we’re onto them.”

“I’m going to get a good look and a good sniff at the mines. I’ll be back, you guys decide what you want to do, but I say we touch nothing.”

“Ruby’s right,” Emma says, for Kathryn’s benefit. “It’s too early. It’ll accomplish nothing except tip our hand.”

“Should we infiltrate the camp to get information?” Kathryn asks.

“Do you think we’ll find out t where they’re keeping Regina?” Emma asks, hopeful.

“I think that this is King George’s army and that there aren’t enough men here for him to attack anyone any time soon,” Kathryn says. “I also think that you are correct. The Witch has an army of creatures around—we’ve spied enough of them on specific attacks in several kingdoms. I don’t know how many, but certainly more than a handful. At least a whole guard.”

“She stays somewhere else.”

“She does.”

“And Regina stays with her.”

“Most likely.”

“We should get out of here as soon as Ruby gets back.”

Kathryn doesn’t respond, she only lets out a frustrated breath.

Kathryn loses it the minute they make it back to camp.

She screams and kicks at dirt before storming out of the cave down to the river. She’s kept that rage inside of her for hours. Possibly since the night Frederick died.

Emma and Ruby take the saddles and packs off the horses as fast they can, making sure everybody is secured. Then they join Mulan on the bank of the river, where Kathryn hasn’t calmed down at all.

She screams, loud and painful, like she screamed when Frederick died. On her knees, sobbing and scratching and punching at the wet ground, breaking the skin of her hands on the sticks and rocks.

“He died for nothing!”

The despair in her cry hurts Emma deep in her heart and in her gut. She wants to go to Kathryn right away, but she doesn’t.

What if she’s right? What if Frederick died for nothing? Not one clue. They haven’t found or crossed one thing that will lead them to the Witch. Not even her fucking army.

“No, he has not.” Mulan kneels in front of Kathryn, grabbing one of athryn’s hands with her uninjured one. Nobody wants Kathryn to hurt herself. “He saved us, and we are going to make it count. We will save Regina and honor his memory.”

Kathryn cries.

Mulan pulls them in the water, and washes Kathryn hands, dabbing her face gently. “We need your hands to help. We can’t all be useless.”

Ruby’s taken her boots off and her pants, too. She gets in the water. “There are other things we can do. We’ll find her, Abigail, we will.”

Emma watches her friends, Regina’s friends, comforting each other. They’re family. They all found each other in this world, with understanding and a common cause. They’ve managed to forge bonds of love and loyalty.

She should have risked it all to save Frederick. She should have used magic. They have no idea where Regina is. Maybe she’s—Emma takes a breath. Maybe Regina is dead. She should have thought about healing Frederick really hard and poured all her heart into it. It would have worked like the candle in Neverland.

She should have wanted it bad enough. Regina lives in the journals, Emma hears her voice telling her about herself, about their son, about being in love with her sometimes. She’s passion and intensity. She’s so much and Emma’s messed up.

Frederick has died for the tenderness for Emma in Regina’s heart. The tenderness Emma wants so badly, she let her friend take the fall for it.

She sees Ruby looking at her, contemplating, like she’s understanding what Emma is thinking. Then Mulan.

And then Kathryn turns to her. “Emma,” she calls, tears falling through a smile that breaks Emma at the knees.

She feels her lip quiver. She can’t make it stop. Emma doesn’t cry. She doesn’t cry. No, no, no, no.

She bites that lip hard enough to yelp, a sob in her throat. She has a hiccup because she can’t breathe and swallow and speak and not cry. She doesn’t cry.

She freezes. She doesn’t know how to do this.

“Oh, Emma.” Kathryn embraces her for the second time in two weeks. They weren’t even friends before this shit, not really.

Kathryn shivers against her. Another life she’s wrecked.

“I’m so—” she inhales sharply, “so sorry, Kathryn.” The tears burn as she sheds them.

“He was always a hopeless romantic, you know?” Kathryn rests her forehead against Emma’s. “He told me it was too late for him, so he wanted you to have your best shot.”

“He sacrificed his life for me?” Emma shakes her head. “Oh God.”

“No.” Kathryn wraps her arms around Emma’s shoulders as Emma buries her face in Kathryn’s neck. She cries hard. “No, sweetheart, he sacrificed his life for me and all of us. So we could go on. And when we manage to do that, then I won’t have lost him forever.”

“‘kay,” Emma nods.

“Okay,” Kathryn answers. Emma stares at her.

“You look like your father a lot more than you look like your mother.” Kathryn’s smile is as sad as her eyes, but she’s being so brave.

Emma pulls herself together. She clears her throat, wipes her eyes and blows her nose in the handkerchief Mulan hands her silently. She feels like an idiot. She’s managed to be the baby of the group again.

“So what do we do now?” Emma asks.

“First, we need to look at Mulan’s arm,” Kathryn says.

“Only if we also take care of your hands.”

“I think I have an idea,” Ruby interrupts. “Let’s eat and fix everybody up properly, then I’ll tell you.”

While Red is gone, Emma takes care of gathering wood and enough water for their skeins, the pot for the bandages and the kettle for more infusion. Kathryn and Mulan start a fire, and Emma goes down to the river with the horses. She lets them graze for a while. They’ve been keeping them in the cave, but they’re going to have to work on that. The horses are hungry and they need more sun.

When she gets back, another turkey-chicken thing is roasting on a separate fire, while the pot is boiling for clean bandages. Mulan has new wrappings on her arm and Kathryn has her hands covered with some of the nasty honey-nettle poultice stuff that seems to be working all right.

“You guys sorted?” she asks as she walks in with Bug, Twinkie and the others in tow.

“No infection.” Mulan is the only one with a cup, so Emma assumes it’s quinine she’s drinking.

She leads the horses further into the open cave where their mini paddock is set. They still can see the outside but they’re not on top of their humans. She keeps calling the cave a cave, but it’s really more like a cove in the side of a rocky hill. Just covered enough not to be seen from above, which suits them, knowing what they know now about King George’s army.

Emma pours some water on her hands from her skein and then settles down by the fire with the others for some food.

“What’s your idea?” she asks Ruby.

“It’s Rising Moon. In a few days it will be Full Moon, which is pretty much when I heard the call from the Witch last time.”

“You think she calls to magical folk on regular basis?” Mulan asks.

Ruby ponders the question. “I think she must be getting her magical creature soldiers somewhere. Most werewolves live here on protected land. I don’t know how she gets her monkeys, but her werewolves are here, all around us. I can smell them when I hunt, they mark their territory.”

“Have we been detected?” Kathryn is worried.

“Not that I’m aware of. I’ve been careful not to leave any traces, and we’re close enough to both Verdania and Welkinforge that we’re on the edge of any wolf’s territory.” Ruby shrugs. “I mean, things could get worse, but I think we’ve had our share for now. I’m—I’m an alpha, it’s not everyone who will want to challenge me. Plus Emma’s potency inspires caution. If we’re sensed, I don’t think we’ll be bothered. As long as you guys stay around camp, you should be safe.”

“What about you?”

“I want to go search deeper in the forest for packs, see if I can pick up the Witch’s call and find out her location. I will fit in if I’m in wolf form.”

“That’s a big chance to take, Red,” Mulan says.

“What else can we do?” Ruby sounds frustrated, but like she has thought about this idea for a while. “Think about it, where else could she hide so perfectly, be undetected for almost two years? We’ve searched everywhere.” Ruby sits up, animated. “George’s people must be getting their orders via flying monkeys. And the raids? What more central location to keep an eye on all of Mainland than Brocéliande? Only the Centaurs have clearly said they would fight the Witch and they’re gathering mostly to the south-west, close to the Southern Kingdom or in the Enchanted Forest past our border. It’s all I’ve got, but I think it’s the right idea.”

“So, we stay here? While you run?” Kathryn asks.

“Yes,” Ruby says, setting aside her food. She hasn’t been touching it anyway. “I’ll find the bitch, and with her I’ll find Regina and then we’re going home.”  


* * *

  
Ruby runs. Day and night. She comes back exhausted with fresh kills. She must eat in Red’s form because she barely touches her food when it’s cooked. She drinks a lot. She sleeps. Always curled around Emma, always gone when Emma wakes.

Emma walks the horses daily. She makes sure they drink and eat and stretch their legs. They stay by her when she sets up to fish in the morning. Gutting them is still gross but she’s getting pretty good at it. She’s also explored the vicinity. She’s found wild berries and apples and vegetables, too. It took a couple of tries for her to bring her friends the edible kind, but then Mulan went out with her and taught her what she needed to know about berries, mushrooms and roots.

Mulan’s arm is definitely broken, even if the open wound is healing decently. She needs a cast, but her arm strapped to her chest will have to do. She’s in pain, though, and their quinine is getting low.

Kathryn’s scratches and bruises are healing a lot faster than Mulan’s arm. But not her heart, there’s no powder for that. She’s forlorn and mourning. Sometimes weeping, sometimes trying to keep busy so she doesn’t have to think about the immensity of her loss and how terribly real it is. Mulan stands by her, quiet and solid, like an anchor.

Emma reads more of Regina’s recent entries. She doesn’t want to read through Regina’s twenty-eight years in Storybrooke right away. She needs to hang on, just like Regina does. The closer she gets to when Regina got taken, the more Regina sounds frightened that Emma and Henry could fall into the mysterious claws of the Wicked Witch. The alliance has no idea of the Witch’s whereabouts. The threats on all the people Regina wants to protect keep increasing, especially around Evan’s birth.

Her brother is born on Thanksgiving, as cliché as it is. Emma is in awe of how selfless Regina can actually be. She protects him, them, Emma’s family. She protects all of her people and more. She protects Emma and Henry while they’re not even in this world yet. It’s beautiful. Regina is beautiful.

The ache in Emma’s chest doesn’t quell, not even when Ruby rushes to her on the morning of their seventh day in the cave, the morning before Full Moon.

“Emma! Wake up!”

“What?! I’m awake.” She rubs her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” Ruby is practically bouncing in her lap. “I found her! I found Regina!”

Emma sits up in one go and hugs Ruby to her as tightly as she can.

“All right, all right, Em, lemme go, I can’t breathe!” Ruby is giggling like an over-excited ten-year-old and lying through her teeth. She can breathe just fine.

“You saw her? Is she okay?” Emma can’t help herself. “Is it far? Can we go? She’s okay, right?”

“I’m not sure.” Ruby sobers up.

“Let her go, Emma,” Mulan says. “Come, Red, sit down and tell us everything.”

Ruby is still naked. Emma gets up and tosses Ruby a clean change of clothes. Kathryn gets the water kettle going and cooks some eggs with a little pork fat they’ve been collecting from the wild pigs Ruby sometimes brings back. Fish isn’t always for the morning.

Ruby drinks clear fresh water then splashes her face and hands. She doesn’t look like she stopped by the river to wash.

“I heard the call.” She’s put on the clothes Emma handed her and is sitting on a large and flat log Emma—well, Twinkie, really—hauled in to make their interior more comfortable. “Up north, I made it back to the lair of a pack of werewolves I followed the night before and I heard it, in the afternoon. I followed at a distance. It took us all the way north-east of Brocéliande to the Eternal Mountain.”

“The Wicked Witch is staying by the Eternal Mountain?” Kathryn sounds surprised.

“Her and all her minions. It reeks of magic. Ancient magic, but also dark, and wolves and monkeys and maybe even some other kinds of magical folks. And I clearly picked up Regina’s scent.” Ruby takes the plate Kathryn hands her and put a large forkful of eggs in her mouth. “Not by. In the mountain. There’s a castle built in it.”

“The Eternal Mountain,” Emma says, “that’s Maleficent’s castle.”

“What do you mean?” All three are looking at her.

“It’s in Regina’s journals. Maleficent and Cora knew each other, and Regina met her as a child, but always at the estate in Basurto. Then later on when Regina was Rumplestiltskin’s apprentice, she ran into Maleficent several times in the Enchanted Forest. There was the ordeal with Aurora—which apparently isn’t quite like the Disney movie at all—but Regina didn’t elucidate. I don’t think she knows the details. Maleficent took a liking to Regina, and from what she described, she wasn’t really a villain, more the mysterious and in-between type.” Emma sits crosslegged by the fire. “Anyway, when Regina first set out to cast the dark curse, she had to get the actual curse scroll from Maleficent who kept it as treasure. Maleficent also warned Regina that it wasn’t a good idea at all for her to cast the dark curse. Later on, she told her about the prophecy.”

“The prophecy?” Kathryn asks.

“About me. About the Savior who would break the dark curse. Regina went to Maleficent’s castle in the Eternal Mountain. It’s there.”

“That is a fascinating bit of information,” Kathryn muses. “Too bad you killed Maleficent in Storybrooke.”

“She wasn’t very keen on talking it out,” Emma says. “Did you see Regina there?”

“No, I didn’t dare. I found where she’s kept, which is deeper into the mountain. We’ll have to go through a good part of it, including the interior gardens that are open through the crater of the mountain.

“She’s in one of the chambers in the north wing. She’s weak but alive. She’s in pain, I think, but there wasn’t any blood. Just a lot of magic. The whole place is guarded by wolves. They stay in their wolf shape—even during the day—but there were some humans, too, wandering about, sometimes escorted by wolves. There were flying monkeys in and out, but they come in higher up, in the flank of the mountain.” Ruby inhales the last of her food. “I wouldn’t imagine such a place to be so big, doesn’t look it at all from the outside. I think I found the back door, though so to speak.”

“So, you think we can get in undetected?” Mulan is already formulating strategies, so is Emma.

“I think we don’t really have any other way. We can’t fly, and we certainly can’t attack. We need to sneak in,” Ruby answers.

“Won’t we be recognized?” Kathryn has a point.

“We should go at night, and cloak up. You said there were humans walking around with wolf escorts?” Emma asks.

“Yes, I should definitely stay in my wolf form to show you the way.”

“Will that be enough to conceal our intentions? Or Emma’s magic?” Mulan asks.

“Tonight’s Full Moon. The magic there will be high, and there are a lot of magical folks answering the call—with or without their consent. I think she’ll blend in. I couldn’t really discern the Witch or anyone else. I found Regina by smell and because I know her scent and her brand of magic well.”

“There’s no way I’m staying behind anyway.” They know better than to discuss it. “ So, we could actually sneak in, that’s good. How do we get out?”

“First we have to stay alive,” Mulan says. “I don’t think Regina is unprotected.”

“You think a castle full of werewolves and flying monkeys, and god knows what else isn’t enough to guard Regina?” Emma retorts.

“I think there’ll be magic wards,”Mulan tells her.

“Then it’s a good thing your sword can deflect magic,” Emma says, “but it’s going to trigger all the alarms, whatever we do.”

“Most likely,” Mulan concludes.

“Will we be able to get out?” Kathryn asks.

“If Regina is capable of helping, I’m sure we can even fight our way out, honestly.” Emma knows that even if she can’t really yield her own magic, she has enough for Regina to guide the both of them and kick some ass.

“We should assume and plan as if Regina is unfit,” Mulan says.

“Mulan is right.” Kathryn finishes her last bite of food and takes a swallow of her infusion. “We need to figure out how to get out of there in one piece and maybe undetected.”

“Regina and I moved a fucking planet together.” Emma stands up in annoyance. “I’m getting her back and I’ll blow up anyone who stands in my way. I might not be seasoned at using my magic, but it’s there, I can assure you.”

“Take it easy, Em.” Ruby comes to stand next to her. “What Kathryn means is that it would be a lot safer for everyone if we could avoid fighting off the whole castle. If it comes to that, we will.”

“‘kay.” Emma sighs heavily. “I’m gonna go water the horses.”

She leaves the fire to round up the horses. They know to follow her. It always ends up with fresh water and food, and nice rubs.

She sits in the shade of the tree she likes to hang out by. Its roots are large and end in the water. Emma takes off her boots and lets her feet dangle in the fresh, crystalline water. The horses graze and roll in the grass, roaming around. They drink and play.

This past week has been about laying low, letting Red do her thing. Emma has been strangely calm for all the agitation she’s feeling inside. She knows her friends will do all they can to get Regina back. They love her, too. Trusting isn’t what Emma does best. Even when she knows.

Regina is weak, Ruby said. It’s tying knots in her stomach. She can’t think like that and she knows it. Believing isn’t what she does best either.

“Emma?” Kathryn has managed to sneak up on her. How reassuring. “May I join you?”

“Yeah.” Emma watches Kathryn remove her boots before sitting close to her and dangling her feet in the water as well.

Kathryn says nothing. Emma can’t hold it inside that long. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“You haven’t, I just—”

“You want her back and you’re tired of waiting.”

“Yeah.” She didn’t know she’s that easy to read, but then again, Kathryn is pretty cunning, as princesses go. “That’s selfish, though.”

“You love her, Emma. You’re not being selfish.”

“How’d you know?” Maybe Frederick told Kathryn.

“It’s written plain on your face every time you say her name.”

“Oh.” Idiot.

“And when you read her journals.”

Emma blushes.

“We’re going to go, right?” She’ll go alone if she has to.

“Yes.” Kathryn looks at her with a soft smile and sorrowful eyes. “We’re leaving after midday, and we will wait until the late hours of the night to make our move.”

“Thank you.” Emma takes Kathryn’s hand in hers, rubbing her knuckles to hide her nervousness at the spontaneous gesture.

“We’ve all bloodied our hands, fought through betrayal and fruitless travel.” Kathryn rests her other hand atop Emma’s. “My husband didn’t die for us to stop at Regina’s door because the risk is high. If we don’t get her out that mountain, nobody will. And then we will be doomed.”

Emma turns her attention back to the horizon. They’re going to get Regina back. Tonight, she’ll see Regina again.

She doesn’t notice when Kathryn leaves, but she’s alone again. Emma gets the journals from her jacket and sits back against the tree trunk.

There’s one last entry for her to read before this section ends.

_‘The 1st Day of Full Moon during the 2nd Moon of Spring of the 6033th Lunar Cycle,_  
_582th day of my curse, Rocio Palacio_

_Emma,_

_You will be here soon. You and Henry. Your mother shared the news tonight. She could not hold it in anymore, I suppose. I kissed Evan goodnight, placed him in his crib and disappeared._

_I fear I will go mad with worry._

_I thought about destroying the Jolly Roger. I thought about killing them all. The fucking fairy will get it some day soon, that I can swear to._

_Then your brother smiles. He has your eyes. He has her dark hair, that snow white skin, but he has your eyes._

_She’s going to come for me, Emma. When you read this you might not understand why I will let it happen. Why I’m not stopping them from bringing you and Henry here._

_He has your eyes, and he is innocent._

_Maybe I will see you again. Maybe you will find me. I’m taking a gamble with my life, projecting that she won’t kill me. At least not right away. Hopefully she’s not as volatile as I was. She’s powerful Emma, the green bitch. I can’t find her, I can’t stop her, I can’t understand what it is she’s looking for. We’ve been at this for months, over a year now, and still I have no clue._

_I can’t tell if she knows when you will be arriving, but she seems to know everything else. There’s a traitor in our midst, and spies, many of them. Hopefully you’ve read enough by now to have realized my suspicions are real._

_I can’t bear the thought of harm coming your way, or Henry’s, but here I am, weak and pathetic._

_She’s coming for me and letting her is the only thing I can do. It’s the only means I know for me to be close enough to her, to find a way to make this world safe for Henry and for you. For the ones you love. For the ones we love._

_The only way for this world to ever be safe again is for you and I to save it together._

_Would you believe me, mi cielo, if I told you I don’t have the heart to let them all die in your name? The only life I can lay forth these days is my own. Such an Evil Queen I am. Don’t even scare the children anymore._

_I make a poor sight of a villain. Or a hero for that matter. I haven’t been this scared in a long time. I think maybe I have never been this scared at all. I was resigned, I was ready. To die, to lose, to pay._

_Hope is cruel. It has weaved itself into my dreams and it resembles you. You and Henry, and our family._

_You must be safe, Emma. Protect Henry, he is what matters most. Always. If you can’t do this, if you won’t, have no shame. Leave. Take Henry and leave. I would not hold it against you._

_Will you tell Henry for me that I love him with all my heart? He has always been my happy ending. I am and I will forever be proud of him. He will become a great man for he is a great boy and he has the most beautiful soul. I have been so blessed to be his mother, he has enlightened my life since the day I first looked on him._

_And you, Emma. For the longest time I believed you were my ruin. I wish, at times, to have made different choices. Better choices. At times, because you see, all the terrible ordeals I have been through, that I put others through, they are the reasons why I could love our beautiful son and allow you in my life._

_I refuse to fight you anymore. I would rather love you instead. Even if you don’t._

_I love you, Emma._

_This is goodbye._

_R.’_


	7. Mi Cielo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma, Mulan, Ruby, and Kathryn venture on their last attempt to finally rescue Regina. They're met with unprecedented news and unforeseen enemies, but make a new friend in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ **Setting** | Events in this chapter begin on day 30 after Regina’s abduction.]
> 
> I would like to dedicate this story to Alyssa.
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> C.
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> You can find me on Twitter and Tumblr. @Paradoxalpoised
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They reach the Eternal Mountain a couple of hours before nightfall. They leave the horses a mile west off the road as well covered as they can. Emma is nervous leaving them. She’s worried some werewolf pack will have them for dinner or scatter them away in fear. It takes Ruby promising her she can track them if they run away to force Emma’s hand.

They approach the castle on foot staying off the wolves’ patrol lines. They get close enough to the back door to discern it. Ruby transforms so as not to attract unwanted attention. Even if it seems clear their presence isn’t exactly secret, it’s not threatening.

While they make a quick beeline for the door, Red leaves them to enter the castle with the other magical folks through what they consider the main ground entrance. She meets them in her human form when she opens the side door for them.

“The path is clear.”

They’ve pulled their cloaks low on their heads, concealing their faces and most of their weapons. Mulan’s arm is still strapped to her chest.

“I’ll change again,” Ruby says, closing the door and locking it behind them with a metal bar. “Just keep your distance from anyone else, but don’t look like you’re keeping your distance too much.”

“Very funny, Chewie,” Emma says. “How are we supposed to do that?”

Ruby grins. “I don’t know, fly casual?” She’s back on four legs with a powerful thud of her paws on the smooth polished floor before Emma can retort.

Emma rolls her eyes at Ruby’s bravado, but smiles that neither Kathryn nor Mulan got the reference. She’s pretty sure Frederick would have.

“Lead on, fluffball.” She’s met with Red’s snort.

It’s not really a great time for joking but Emma finds it’s exactly what she needs to get rid of her jitters. She makes sure to keep her hand away from Dart and projects a confident demeanor. But not like she owns the place. Blending in on a job is something she knows how to do.

They’ve timed the guard change to every four hours. The moon is high in the sky. It’s around two in the morning, and besides the werewolves, shifted or not, the castle is dead quiet. They entered the premises during the last changeover, so that should leave them four hours to rescue Regina and get the hell out of there.

Red leads them deeper into the castle. They go up several flights of stairs in the west wing. Red is taking them through back rooms, dusty and unused. They hold no hint of the grand and ornate castle that Emma gets glimpses of on certain turns.

The ceilings in the castle are sky-high, supported by columns so large, she can’t believe the place was built by regular people. She remembers that in a land with ogres and giants, it’s possible that humans didn’t have that much to do with its construction. Then she starts imagining building using magic. That’s like all her childhood Lego daydreams come true. She’s ever only seen things like this in the Lord of the Rings. Which isn’t even real, as far as she knows, and she sure as hell isn’t going to ask. There have been enough nasty surprises for one lifetime without running into Gollum leading them straight to Shelob the spider’s nasty mandibula.

They climb a spiral staircase, eventually reaching a huge elevated room. The room is adjacent to a main chamber which is downright gigantic—like, could-host-Beyoncé-and-not-sell-out gigantic. It’s accessible from both the west and east and it overlooks the south wing. The staircases catch her attention: some are huge, others much more regular-sized. Definitely meant for different sizes of people. Or creatures.

“Dragons,” Kathryn whispers.

This place was built for dragons. By dragons.

White marble, granite and quartz of all colors, platinum pooling in the moonlight. It’s a wonder.

The real shock comes from what is floating in the very center of the mountain: the gardens. With divided crystal ceilings hanging at different heights, coves and arches of the same stones as the floors and columns. Like suspended nests. The crater of the mountain opened to the skies. As if the moon and stars only exist to be gazed at.

“Focus.” Mulan’s hand grazes hers.

It’s all it takes for Emma to get back in the dangerous game they’re playing.

They walk through the suspended gardens, still on the west side, then down and up again to the north wing. These parts are divided, partitioned on the back inner slope of the mountain. These are the lived-in quarters of the castle, which might not be Maleficent’s Castle after all. Emma wonders if Maleficent was just a squatter, like this Wicked Witch of the West is.

It takes them a good forty-five minutes of brisk walking to reach the large corridor where, Emma can feel it, they’re getting close to Regina. They locate Regina’s door and wait patiently to check if it’s guarded, or on a patrol route of any sort.

Emma can be patient for a lot of things, but waiting isn’t one of them. She discreetly walks ahead of the others to the door itself and studies it intensely.

“Emma?” Mulan is right by her side, back to the door. “What do you think?”

“I’ve picked a lot of doors in my days, that’s not going to be an issue here.” Emma is not moving an inch, though. “Still got a bad feeling about this one.”

“There should be guards,” Kathryn remarks.

“There’s magic everywhere here.” Emma closes her eyes for a moment, breathing in and quieting her mind. “It tastes like Regina in the air.”

“What does that mean?”

Red is sitting on her back legs, directly behind Emma, and Kathryn is on her left, waiting. Emma is still facing the door, not even half an arm’s length away.

“I don’t know, but it’s everywhere. I don’t think the door is actually locked or warded.”

They can stand here all they want, but until she reaches for that door handle and opens it, they’re suspiciously standing by a prisoner’s door, alone in the dead of night in a corridor they definitely can’t explain being in.

“All right, here we go,” she says as she opens the door, Dart in her right hand. All four step into the room, standing still in one line while Emma closes the door behind them. Kathryn has an arrow in hand. Mulan isn’t moving but her good hand is gripping the hilt of her sword, and Red is prowling in a way that clearly means ‘attack and I will rip your throat.’

The room is wide, with a bay window weaved with platinum or some other precious metal framings. It gives onto a large terrace.

There’s a bed and an opening to the left, maybe a bathroom. There’s a desk facing the bay window and a second table covered with what looks like a chemistry set. For alchemy, perhaps. There’s also a sofa and arm chairs with a coffee table and a fireplace to the right side of the room.

In the center, though—room has been made for it—there is a large table carved from a single marble slab.

Regina is lying on it, unconscious.

Emma launches herself toward Regina, only to be stopped by Ruby’s arms lifting her off the floor.

“Wait.” Ruby speaks quietly, but her grip is iron.

Emma doesn’t fight it, she knows Ruby won’t let her go until she’s calm.

“I’m gonna let you go but, please, let’s be careful, we could hurt her.”

“Or let the whole castle know we’re here,” Mulan adds as she hands Ruby her clothes back.

“I know.” Emma has eyes only for Regina.

“Something is leaking from those markings on her skin,” Kathryn says. “Look, the marble has veins collecting it.”

Regina’s body is barely covered by a short gown. Her skin is marked, like tattooed runes and vines all over her body. They start from her face, throat, shoulders, then become visible through the fabric on her chest, stomach, abdomen and thighs, all the way to her heels and the tip of her toes. They’re weaving into something that looks like symbols from a spell.

Thick purple-silver ink is oozing from the markings and bleeding from her nose, eyes, ears, fingertips and down the arches of her feet into the crannies of the marble slab and then into a large glass urn.

“It’s her magic!” Emma suddenly realizes. “She’s being drained.”

Emma is horrified. This is what has been making Regina so weak. Emma wonders if separating Regina from her magic could eventually kill her. It has incapacitated her.

“She’s so pale.” Kathryn is on the other side of the altar, frowning with concern. “She looks like Frederick when… when…”

When Frederick died.

here’s a bracelet around Regina’s right ankle linked to a chain attached to a thick hole in the marble forming a hook. The chain is glowing a crisp emerald green with the Wicked Witch’s magic. Emma is surprised it’s not standing out so differently from Regina’s own magic.

“The moment we touch that chain, discretion is over,” Mulan warns. She stands immediately beside Emma, her sword in hand.

“Will it cut through that?” Emma eyes Mulan, pointing at her sword with her chin.

“I’m not in shape for the marble, but I can deal with the bracelet.”

“Em,” Ruby calls, “let’s try to wake her up. She’s not completely knocked out.”

Emma steps closer to the marble slab. “Regina! Wake up! It’s Emma. We came to get you out of here. Come on, Regina! Wake up!” She calls for her as loud as she dares.

Regina stirs, and moans. Her throat is parched. “Em…Emma?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

Regina opens her eyes with the shyest of smiles. What a beautiful smile.

Emma smiles back and, for a fleeting instant, she savors the iridescent sensation of joy, seeing Regina alive and feeling her so close.

“You came.” Regina’s eyes are glowing the same deep shade of purple and silver, shadowed by exhaustion and blurred by tears.

“What else was I gonna do?” Emma smiles. “Ruby’s here, and Mulan and Kathryn. We came to rescue you.”

A tear drops on Regina’s cheek. Emma extends a hand to catch it but Regina shrinks at the intent. “No, Emma, don’t. If you touch me, it will alert them.”

“Will it trigger anything if you drink from my skein?” Kathryn is offering Regina her skein filled with fresh water from their now-abandoned camp.

Regina accepts it. “Just make sure not to touch me.” She drinks avidly, but sputters and coughs.

“Easy now.” Emma bends close to her, and catches the skein, careful not to make contact. “Who is ‘them’, Regina?”

“Zelena.” Anger flashes on Regina’s face. “The Wicked Witch and Rumpelstiltskin.”

“That bastard is here?!” Ruby growls. Emma and Regina both turn their heads to look her. She’s shaking with rage.

Regina nods. “He’s behind it all.”

“Some things don’t change,” Kathryn says.

“From what I could gather, he ended up in Oz after he stabbed his father with his dagger. He didn’t quite explain but I think time warps differently in that realm and the story we’ve read about on Earth is quite different as well.

“Zelena was never the Wicked Witch of the West to begin with, she was the Good Witch of the North.”

“That’s in the original book,” Emma remarks.

“Yes, but the truth of how she became wicked and green is due to Rumplestiltskin. He was ripped of his powers and couldn’t get back to Earth, but he found Zelena. She’s very powerful. He tricked her some way or another, and cursed her to become the Dark One.

“He controls the dagger.”

“So he controls her,” Mulan says. “And she controls magical folks?”

“Only shifters and animals.”

“That’s good to know,” Emma interrupts, “but what do we do now? Because once this chain is off, we’re going to have the Dark One on our asses.”

“We can’t leave now.” Regina labors with her words. She’s not regaining any color and her magic is still being drained, uninterrupted.

“Regina, this thing is slowly killing you,” Emma says. “We need to escape.”

“You don’t understand,” Regina pleads through short breaths. “I know what Rumple wants.”

“What does he want?” Mulan encourages her for more, placing a calming hand on Emma’s forearm.

“It’s—He called it the Sliver of Darkness. I don’t know the whole story, but it is half of a shard of a materialized piece of the essence of magic. I don’t have the energy to explain to you exactly what that is, but apparently it has a will of its own and this Darkness was broken in two halves. One of them was embedded in my heart at birth.”

“Gold did that to you?” Emma has wished him dead before, but she vows she’ll make him swallow his fucking dagger.

“I don’t think so. He would have kidnapped me a lot sooner if he had known.” Regina sounds forlorn. Emma wants to wrap her in her arms so much that she has to focus on keeping her distance. “What I know is that George, the backstabbing bastard that he is, told Rumple you and Henry were coming here, and that led him to set Zelena on me.”

“He took my heart out my chest right away, but he couldn’t separate the Sliver from it. This entity is very powerful. It’s rooted at the core of my heart and feeds on my rage, on my pain. It’s been like ivy attached to me all my life.”

“So he’s come to the conclusion that if he weakens you, he’ll weaken this Sliver?” Mulan is connecting the dots aloud.

“Precisely.” Regina is exhausted and leans back on her right elbow, facing Emma. “It hasn’t worked so far, but it will, I can feel it. He’s trying every day that passes.”

“He’s going to kill you.” Emma can’t stand being here one second more. “All right, we’re getting out of here. Let’s take that chain off of your ankle and leave. We’ll worry about that thing in your heart when you’re safe and away from here.”

“Emma.” Regina’s voice breaks with the exhaustion and the sadness. She’s in pain. “Please, we can’t leave yet. The Sliver is actually weakened as much as I am, it’s my only chance to have it out of my heart once and for all. What Rumple is doing to my magic, to me, is a very dark spell, and it’s dangerous. I won’t survive it a second time.”

“You shouldn’t be going through it to begin with.” Emma doesn’t understand what Regina wants.

“Weakening the Sliver is the right way, but Rumple will never get it out of my heart, he can’t.”

“Because he’s not powerful enough,” Ruby carries on for her, “and the Witch is under the Dark Curse.”

“You want—” Kathryn interrupts herself.

They’re all looking at Emma.

“No way I’m taking your heart out of your chest.” It’s a categorical no. Nuh-uh. “I don’t want to kill you, thank you very much.”

“Emma,” Regina’s voice is so soft, “you must do this.”

They’re looking at each other. Regina’s crying. Emma wants to scream with how badly she needs to touch her.

She approaches so close to Regina, Emma can feel the shiver running through Regina like it’s her own.

“I can’t hurt you,” Emma whispers.

Regina takes a breath and exhales against Emma’s cheek. “You won’t, I believe in you. I trust you, Emma. Trust yourself as well.”

“I don’t know how.” Emma feels so little.

“Yes, you do,” Regina says, voice tender and patient. “Look into my eyes, don’t be scared.”

“Will the spell stop draining you?”

“Hopefully, when you touch me.” Regina looks over her shoulder, “Mulan—”

“I’ll have to cut through the bracelet. Just make sure not to move,” Mulan answers.

“We’ll cover you.” Ruby places herself at Regina’s feet, Kathryn at her head, bow at the ready.

Emma takes a deep breath, closing her eyes then opening them again to find Regina’s gaze. She embraces Regina to her with her left arm, pulling her up so she has access to her chest. Emma places her hand flat on the top of Regina’s left breast. Feeling Regina’s hand on her forearm, she plunges her own in Regina’s chest.

She holds Regina’s heart, feels it beating in her fingers. She’s awed at the power she feels coursing through her own veins just from holding it. Regina’s heart. The magic in Regina is so powerful. The taste in Emma’s mouth is delectable. She recognizes their connection instantly.

It feels so, so good.

She hears Regina moan. The world glows purple in the eyes Emma can’t let go of. Regina whispers, “Mi cielo,” and that’s when Emma notices the soft shade of blue at the corners of her own vision. It’s reflecting in the silver of Regina’s purple irises. Emma’s own brand of magic.

Mulan frees Regina from her shackle with one swing of her sword.

The magical fluid oozing from Regina does not vanish from her body at all. Emma feels it wrap around herself, around them. It flows backward from the urn, from the crannies in the marble slab. Regina’s magic caresses Emma without leaving a trace but the sensation of it returning to Regina through her is exhilarating.

Emma pulls Regina’s heart from her chest, oh so gently.

She looks down to it thrumming bright red, shining through light shadows of what might have been Regina’s darkened heart she’s been told about. The only darkness she can see is pooling to a side of the heart, as if sucked by a vortex, in the shape of a willowy gem. The Sliver is inside Regina’s heart, but Emma can see a purple silvery fracture isolating it more and more with each beat.

Regina’s body is flush against Emma’s, her legs on each side of her hips, her arms around her neck, their foreheads together. Regina gasps in alarm. Emma pulls her tighter into her, her left arm secured on Regina’s back.

The potency of Zelena’s magic is suffocating. Regina is weakened, Emma is a diamond in the rough. The Dark One’s curse laced with Zelena’s natural brand of magic makes her power frightening.

All in the hand of the real Wicked Witch.

“Well hello, Dearie,” Gold says, rolling the ‘r’ with dripping sarcasm. “Long time no see.”

“Not long enough, Gold,” Emma sasses right back.

“Now, now, you wound me,” he mocks. “I rather missed you, Miss Swan.”

Ruby launches herself at him but is projected into the air and immobilized before she can shred her clothes and explode into Red. An arrow whistles past her ear straight for Zelena’s head but the bow follows and Kathryn is in the air next to Ruby.

Mulan parries the arrow Zelena turns back onto her with a movement of her sword. She side steps to position herself between Emma, Regina and Zelena.

“You keep your dog away from them, Imp.” Mulan is trying to shield them from attacks.

“Put her with the others,” Gold snaps. “And keep them quiet, will you?”

Zelena nods but keeps as silent as her prisoners. She’s really green, although Emma has no time to dwell on it. She’s shocked to see how drained the woman actually look. Being the Dark One doesn’t suit her at all.

Mulan is thrown back onto the sharp edge of the marble slab, directly onto her injured arm. The crack is sickening and followed by a loud scream of pain. Mulan drops her sword as she loses consciousness and slumps to the floor at Ruby and Kathryn’s feet.

“Mulan!” Emma yells.

“Where were we?” Gold keeps putting on a show, with his hand gestures and head movements. A real comedian. “Ah, yes, you were going to hand me Regina’s heart, or see your lady friends die one after the other.”

“You can count on that.” He can go to hell for all Emma cares.

Emma feels Regina tense against her although her forehead is now heavy against the nook of Emma’s shoulder. Regina’s clutching at her empty chest, her breathing is labored. Emma doesn’t care so much about the Sliver itself, if it comes to that. It’s her only real bargaining chip. She’s not giving away Regina’s heart or any of their friends’ lives.

She lets go of her hold on Regina’s back and, with a swift motion of her left hand, reaches into Regina’s heart with her fingers, much like she had reached into her chest. She pulls opposite sides with both hands, willing the Sliver to let go. The purple and silver fracture surrounding it helps her sever the last remaining tendrils securing the Sliver’s parasitic hold on Regina’s precious heart.

Just as quickly, and while Regina is still trembling from the separation of her magical ivy, Emma replaces Regina’s heart in her chest and palms the Sliver in her left hand. She returns her arm to Regina’s back to support her as she unsheathes Dart from its holster.

She’s pointing it at a laughing Gold.

“You really think your little toy is going to be of much help, Dearie?” He doesn’t wait for her answer, his face turning hard and impassive as instantly as he started his fit of condescending giggles. “Now, hand it over, Miss Swan.”

Emma feels the Sliver probe at her hand, both magically and with its disgusting tendrils. It’s giving her chills.

They seem to be in a bit of a conundrum. Emma can feel Regina’s breathing evening against her, but her body is growing heavier and heavier. Regina is about to pass out. Their friends are moaning and whimpering, incapable of doing much of anything. Mulan is lying unconscious on the floor, blood pooling underneath her, her arm at a very disturbing angle.

“I tell you what, Gold, let’s make a deal.” Emma has to try. “You have your pet here. Transport us back to Regina’s place and I’ll let you have that thing without a fight. Just a fair trade.”

“And why would I do that?” She’d cut one of his hands or two if it could stop him from being such an ass. “You can’t fight me taking it from you. And I get to rid myself of the Evil Queen and the Savior in one lucky strike!”

“I guess we’re going to have to do this the hard way then.” Emma closes her eyes and focuses, pooling her magic as Regina taught her in Neverland.

“Isn’t she precious?” Gold giggles once more.

Emma thinks she’s just going to at least manage to blow something up before they all are done for when—

She’s not the one making the floor tremble and rumble like the mountain itself is an erupting volcano. That would be too good to be true.

Emma hears a roar, mighty and deafening. She knows that roar.

The bay window shakes and shatters. Debris comes crashing into the room. Both Kathryn and Ruby fall down to their feet, apparently free of their entrapments.

Emma protects Regina as best she can from any shards of glass or stone, then gathers Regina bridal style in her arms to join the others. Kathryn is kneeling by Mulan’s side.

“Ruby,” Emma has to shout, “get Mulan and let’s get the fuck—”

Although Ruby is already hoisting Mulan up in her arms, as Kathryn picks up her sword and tries to make sure her arm isn’t mangled more than it already is in their exit, it seems they’re not going anywhere.

Their route out is inconveniently blocked, as the ceiling caves in. From a huge hit from a dragon tail.

And not just any dragon.

“Fuck my life.” Emma can’t help herself. She killed the dragon, or the woman. She sent her father’s sword straight into her heart. And she screamed and roared and then she fell. And that was that. “I killed you!”

Through the settling dust glows a heart of fire in the chest of a mighty beast with its wings spread. Scales the shade of wine, a deep red covering skin of brighter ruby red, embossed with patterns of thinner, smoother, almost inviting, soft scales reminiscent of the skin of a snake. Talons razor sharp and indestructible, strong and muscular legs, a long, flexible and powerful tail ending the line of dorsal spines running from head to tail. Two majestic horns at the crown.

Maleficent.

“Well, not exactly, sweetheart, but I guess we can discuss it later.” There’s a…chuckle?

Maleficent’s voice when she isn’t human is quite—Emma’s not sure if she’s hearing it in her head or out loud to begin with. It’s deep but feminine, scratchy yet booming, and it commands respect.

“Look what the cat dragged in.” Gold is showing off now, because his face doesn’t reflect confidence.

The dragon takes a step closer to Gold only to be faced by Zelena. He’s pointing the dagger to Maleficent’s chest.

She stands on her hind legs, unfolds her wings and roars so loud, Emma thinks she’s about to burn them all to a crisp. It seems to freeze Zelena just as much as everyone else. Before she can do a thing to attack the dragon, Maleficent stands before them in nothing but a floating ruby colored sheet of a fabric Emma has never seen before.

“You’ve been a very naughty thief, Rumpelstiltskin.” She waves to Zelena who is still frozen where she was before Maleficent changed into human form.

“You’ve never cared before.”

“You presume, Rumple, as always.” Maleficent is barefoot, and so light on her feet, it’s almost elvish.

Zelena launches her attack on Maleficent in a flurry of debris targeting her, but Maleficent waves her wrist in a circular gesture and it turns to a fine powder, red like garnet sand gliding over the white marble floor.

Zelena is on her knees, dress about her, at Maleficent’s feet. Being choked to death.

“I will have to think about dispossessing you of this insulting dagger. You enjoy waving it around way too much.”

“Maleficent,” Emma looks away from the scene to Regina nestled in her arms, “please don’t hurt Zelena.”

“She’s the Dark One, child.” Maleficent has a disapproving pout on her lips. “She is dangerous.”

“She’s my sister,” Regina says, looking at Zelena. “He’s holding her hostage.”

Maleficent says nothing but releases Zelena who gasps and breathes in heavily. She coughs, but still no other sound comes out of her.

“Very naughty thief, indeed.” Maleficent steps toward Emma and her friends, but turns to Gold in a flurry of red. “You may keep the castle for now, but you certainly won’t have the Sliver of Darkness.”

She sees Maleficent wave both hands and then, bam, she’s gone in a puff of ruby red fog and away from the Eternal Mountain.

* * *

  
Emma thinks that’s what Harry Potter was referring to when he said disapparating with Dumbledore was puke inducing.

They’re back on Regina’s bed in Rocio Palacio.

Emma checks on Regina, who’s unconscious but unharmed. She deposits her gently on her bed, still holding her hand while she looks around to see if everyone is there.

Ruby is standing in the middle of the room. She still has Mulan in her arms. Kathryn is trying to hold both of them steady from the destabilizing disapparation. Maleficent, composed, is not far from them.

“Kathryn,” Ruby’s voice is full of concern, “run, alert the palace, get Marika and Granny. We need help.”

Ruby walks over to Regina’s bed and lowers Mulan onto it as Emma moves away to give her more room.

“It’s bad.” Ruby starts to undo Mulan’s leather armor then her clothes. Emma hands her dagger over so she can tear through the sleeves and collar of Mullan’s shirt. “How’s Regina?”

“Not to worry, little wolf.” Maleficent is beside Ruby, looking at Mulan over her shoulder. “She only needs rest. She will be much better now that the Sliver was removed from her heart.”

Emma has almost forgotten about that. She looks down at her left hand and opens her fist, revealing the onyx-black smooth but squishy looking Sliver of Darkness. It’s still probing at her hand.

“Right,” Emma says. “What do I do with this?”

Maleficent’s ruby red dress whisks around as the woman, dragon, witch walks to Emma, producing a small wooden box. “Put it in here for safekeeping. The box is enchanted. The Sliver won’t be able to escape it or reach for another host.”

Emma does as she’s told. She feels lighter being free of the malignant parasite. Maleficent closes the lid of the box. Then she bends over Regina and murmurs a few words while hovering her free hand from Regina’s forehead down to her feet and back.

All the markings on Regina’s body disappear. She stirs, beautiful brown eyes fluttering awake. Emma smiles to her.

“Mom!”

The doors fly open, letting in a bunch of people, but Emma and Regina only have eyes for their son racing to them.

“Henry!” Regina kneels on her bed.

“Mom!” Henry sprints around the bed to throw himself into his mother’s arms. “Are you okay Mom? I love you!”

“Oh, Henry!” Regina’s eyes are gleaming with tears of joy. She squeezes him to herself. She kisses the crown of his head and his face, so much he giggles and pulls her into a hug again. “Henry, I thought I would never see you again.”

“I remember. I remember you, Mom.”

“Henry.” Regina seems to only be able to say his name in wonder.

Emma watches them both share tears and embraces. Her chest tightens from the emotion. It’s how it should be. She’s not his mother, Regina is. Emma’s going to have to figure who she is to him.

“Alteza.”

Both Regina and Henry’s heads turn to the right side of the bed, answering in unison, “Sí?”

“You’re speaking Spanish again?” Regina is looking at Henry with renewed awe, biting at her bottom lip with pride.

“Not as great yet.” Henry blushes but she pulls him in a fresh hug.

“Alteza.” The gravity of Marika Floran’s tone sobers mother and son. “I am happy to see you safely return, but your friend is gravely injured.”

Emma puts a hand on Henry’s shoulder. He lets her wrap him in a loose hug and leans back into her. Regina lays eyes on Mulan for the first time and brings a hand to her gaping mouth in horror.

“Marika,” Regina asks what they’re all thinking, “can you heal her arm?”

“She’s mangled.” Marika frowns, annoyed. “I can heal the flesh but the bone—”

Her accent is thick, even after many years lived away from her roots in the Southern Kingdom.

Emma is looking at her friends’ faces. Kathryn is clutching Mulan’s sword to her body, supported by Ruby’s arm around her.

Ruby addresses Maleficent who has moved to the feet of Regina’s bed. “Do something, dragon.” Ruby’s voice is harsh, demanding, her eyes burning with moonlight, fixed on Maleficent.

“You ask so nicely, little wolf.” Maleficent isn’t offended, only amused.

“Can you heal her?” It’s very much like Red. Trust the werewolf to find the biggest creature in the room and pick a fight with it.

Maleficent studies Ruby for a silent moment. Marika is rummaging in her satchels, pulling out powders, herbs, bandages.

“Granny,” Marika says, “I need hot water, alcohol, and clean sheets.”

Granny runs out, calling for a maid and giving short, clear orders.

“I can mend the bone, maybe some of the internal damage,” Maleficent offers. “The rest will be up to the garden gnome, and your friend.”

“Do it.” Ruby is agitated. “Please.” They all are.

Maleficent moves over to Mulan. Marika is already at work cleaning around the wound, preparing her surgical needle and thread.

“She’s unconscious,” Marika says, “but it would be good to make sure she remains that way. And I am no gnome. I’m an herbalist. A witch should respect that.”

“Then give her whichever of your salad dressings will do the trick, herbalist.”

Marika mixes a few things and crushes some herbs then puts it all in a small bowl of boiling water. She covers it with a cloth and moves it to Mulan’s face. She places the cloth over Mulan’s head and the bowl of steaming water she’s holding underneath it. She waits a full minute and then retreats.

Marika nods. Mulan is out.

Emma holds Henry against her, her left hand on his chest, his arms still wrapped around Regina’s left arm and his head in her neck. They’re sitting side by side on her bed, leaning into Emma, paying close attention to what Marika and Maleficent are doing to help Mulan.

Emma doesn’t know if she should—if it’s okay—but she trusts that if Regina doesn’t want to be touched, she’ll make it known.

She threads her fingers through Regina’s hair. She inches closer, letting her fingers fall to Regina’s neck. To the bare skin of her shoulder. She can see the raise of Regina’s chest come up higher. Her breathing is picking up. Emma traces her collarbone with the back of her fingers until she reaches Regina’s chest above her heart. Emma’s hand is flat on Regina’s skin. She can feel her heart racing under her fingertips.

Emma watches Maleficent murmur as Mulan’s arm glows red and silver and the angle of it isn’t disturbing anymore. The bone is reset; tendons, torn muscles, nerves reform. Regina’s hand covers Emma’s on her heart. Mulan won’t lose her arm.

They have so much to talk about. All Emma wants is Regina and Henry close to her, and Regina’s heart beating for her, strong and steady.

“There. The bone is reset, everything that was torn is reattached. The rest is up to her body.” Maleficent stands and steps away from Mulan to Ruby. “And the garden gnome.”

Marika stitches Mulan with dexterous hands and then, when she’s cleaned everything, she applies a poultice with a bandage around Mulan’s arm before setting it in what looks like a soft cast and a sling.

“Will she be able to regain full use of her arm?” Kathryn asks.

“She’s healthy,” Marika says. “It will be painful and long, but she will heal.”

Kathryn brushes some of Mulan’s hair from her face, and covers her for modesty.

“Should we move her to her room?”

“We should,” Marika says, “before she wakes.”

“I’ll take her,” Ruby offers.

“I think I’ll stay with Mulan, if that’s all the same to you, Regina?”

“Of course,” Regina smiles to Kathryn, who can’t seem to return the gesture. Regina leans in, covering Kathryn’s hand on Mulan’s chest. “I have no words to thank you for all you must have gone through in order to save my life. All of you.” She looks at Ruby and cradles the crown of Mulan head with her other hand.

Kathryn’s tears fall, heavy and heart wrenching. She nods.

Ruby relents then, her tough exterior softening enough to hug Granny before she moves to Kathryn’s side.

“I’ll be back,” Ruby tells Regina. “Emma can fill you in.” Ruby and Emma exchange a quick glance before she carefully lifts up Mulan in her arms as if she weighs nothing. She leaves the room, followed by Kathryn.

“I will be back, dragon.” Ruby’s voice is a low, warning rumble.

“I’ll be waiting, little wolf.” Maleficent is more or less smirking.

Granny brings them back to the matters at hand.

“I’ll have your bedding changed and something whipped up for you girls to eat.” Granny nods with her decision. She looks old and tired all at once, standing in her night gown and bonnet. “You don’t exhaust your mothers more than they are, Henry, and, when I get back, you’re off to bed.”

“Come on, Granny,” Henry whines. “They just got back.”

“None of that,” Granny scolds. Maybe she knows already that not everything is shiny and has a happy ending in this particular story. “They’ll tell their tale when they’ve had enough to eat and sleep, and when they’re ready.”

Henry pouts but surrenders. “Okay.”

“Alteza,” Marika stands by Regina’s nightstand, “I should examine you.”

“Your Queen will be fine.” Maleficent’s tone is dismissive. “She only needs bedrest for a few days. And maybe some of your infusions.”

“Gracias por su atención, Marika.” Regina smiles to her oldest friend, placing a hand on Henry shoulder. “Y por cuidar de mi hijo.”

“Alteza.” Marika bows her head once. “I will make sure your guests are cared for as well.”

The older woman doesn’t wait for any approval or further goodbyes, she leaves with her gathered instruments.

“There’s no need for you to be rude to Marika, Maleficent.”

Emma recognizes Regina’s mayoral bitchiness with a strange satisfaction.

“Why does Ruby call you dragon?” Henry interrupts any potential retort, and argument the women could have started. “I thought you were a witch?”

Maleficent studies Henry with a playful smile, “I am a dragon first, and a witch when it pleases me.”

“A dragon, like a flying and breathing fire dragon?” Henry’s ecstatic.

“The only way to be a dragon, young man, is to be born a dragon.”

“So how come you’re a witch?” Henry asks.

Emma looks at Regina’s face only to see surprise as if this is also new information to her.

“I am a dragon with the ability to change into a human,” Maleficent clarifies.

“So you’re a shifter, like Ruby,” Henry concludes.

“I suppose you could compare me to the little wolf, if you must.”

“But it’s in reverse.” Henry smiles to Maleficent like she’s the coolest person—or beast—that he’s ever seen.

“I’m glad you understand. It’s a detail of great importance.”

“I’m Henry, by the way.” Henry stands and takes a couple of formal steps to extend his right hand to Maleficent. “Thank you for saving my moms.”

Maleficent takes his hand and shakes it. “Well, it is pleasant to see not all of you humans are mannerless and rude creatures. Your mothers raised you well.”

“My Mom, when we were in Storybrooke.” Henry smiles. “And Ma, when we were in New York.”

If Maleficent is confused, she hides it. Emma’s proud he also mentioned her. She’s been decent at the whole mom thing with Regina’s memories in her brain.

“You shall have to sit with me at breakfast and tell me all about these fascinating series of events.” Maleficent decides that’s the way to go and Henry squeals in anticipation.

“Yeah, I’ll do that.” Henry walks back to Regina and sits by her. “If you tell me all about dragons.”

“You must go to sleep before then.” Maleficent is down with children.

“Deal.” Henry acquiesces without a struggle. Go figure.

“Deal,” Maleficent agrees, as serious as if they were casting some curse or discussing the fate of the world.

Henry turns his attention to his mothers. “Are you guys going to stay here, together?”

“Yes, Henry, we are.” Regina brushes his hair off his face. He hasn’t cut it yet. She looks at him the way she always does. Like he’s the entire universe.

Emma gives him her best reassuring smile. “Yeah, I’m not going to let your mom out of my sight, Kid.” She puts a hand on Regina’s shoulder. “You go sleep and tomorrow we’ll tell you everything.” It’s not like keeping him from the truth has ever been the smartest thing.

“Estás bien, ¿verdad?” Henry looks back to Regina.

“Sí, mijo, estoy agotado pero voy a estar bien.” She smiles.

Regina’s smile for Henry. Emma has noticed it before. The smile she’s never ever had. The smile Emma craves as she needs air to breathe. A path through the battlefield, brighter than hope, warmer than home, raw and unconditional. Unfailing love.

That smile. It’s why their son has the heart of the strongest believer.

She’d been scared of that smile for a long time. Jealous of it, too, in the gaping wound of her own heart. Jealous of her own son for being so casual about basking in its safety. Jealous of Regina for having the inexorable strength to always give it.

Emma swallows a lump of guilt that lodges in her throat as she remembers how she’d taken every possible opportunity to translate their bond into a toxic one. Each sign of Regina’s distress at Henry pulling away from her. Each undermining of Regina’s humanity and motherhood by her parents, always first to do it, followed by the townspeople. There’s no doubt Emma has messed up, even if Regina has found it in herself to forgive her. Through Henry first and foremost, but also just between them. Enough to give Emma a happy ending and a life free of the heaviest burdens she has always carried with her, her own deformities and inadequacies.

Emma doesn’t deserve either of them, she’s still convinced of that, and they’re going to have to talk about it.

Granny reappears with a Latino man in his fifties maybe—if the silver in his hair is to be any indication—and two younger white men. One is carrying a large tray with food, silverware and a tea pot. The room has been cleaned and restored to its original order. Granny walks to a large mirror in the depths of the right side of Regina’s chambers, and returns with fresh clothes for both of them, as well as a robe she actually drapes over Regina’s shoulders. The three of them move away from the bed, Emma immediately wraps a supporting arm around Regina’s waist, because she still isn’t steady on her feet.

“We should get you into a bath.” Granny too puts an arm around Regina’s waist. She rubs her arm energetically. “Tomorrow.” Granny nods. “Tonight, you sleep.” She eyes Emma firmly.

Message acknowledged, loud and clear. Emma turns beet red and wants to go hide under Regina’s humongous bed.

“Yes, Granny.” Regina smiles at the older woman. It’s not her Henry smile but it’s such a genuine, beautiful smile, it takes Emma’s breath away.

The two younger men have changed the bedding. They retreat to the door while the older one checks their work; he opens the right side and fluffs the pillow.

“It is very good to have you home safely, Su Majestad.” The man bows his head, solemn.

“Gracias, Aitor.” Regina smiles to him, too. “It’s good to be back.”

Aitor walks back a step or two then turns round to the door, the two young men preceding him as they leave.

“Henry,” Granny says next, and Emma could swear both Henry and Regina’s faces crunch in disapproval with precisely the same expression. “Time for bed, boy, come on.”

He sighs, then wraps his arms around Regina. “Goodnight, Mom, I love you.”

“And I love you, Henry, I missed you so very much.” Her arms keep him close to her, a hand on his back and a hand cradling his head. He’s grown quite a lot in the past two years, but his head still fits nicely on both their chests when he bends over. “I want to hear everything about all the time we’ve been apart, later, after we’ve both slept.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Henry stays in her arms for a while longer, his eyes shut tight, like he’s trying to never forget, ever again. Regina kisses his forehead when he pulls back.

And then Henry turns to Emma. She’s almost forgotten she’s allowed, too. It hurts, though, knowing now that he never truly was hers.

She’s still Ma. She has to hang on to that. She’s still Ma.

“Mom?” Henry’s looking right at her with a frown.

“Yeah.” She smiles at him. She’s okay.

“Mom, you’re crying.”

She wipes her tears, they’re ridiculous. “No, I’m not. I’m just happy to see you.”

“I’m happy to see you, too.”

She’s still holding on to Regina with one arm. She can’t let her go any more than she can let him.

Granny pats his shoulder, and Henry gives Emma a hug which she returns willing all the love she feels for him to pass through, all the while taking a long whiff of the scent in his hair.

“I love you,” she tells him under her breath.

He lets her go. “I love you, too.”

And he’s walking away with Granny, but he throws over his shoulder, “‘Night, Moms, and good night, Maleficent.”

Granny looks Maleficent up and down, then, as if she just remembered she has something to say, she blurts, “I had a room prepared for you, and a collation. The guard—”

“Your little wolf can show me to the hunting grounds, and to my chambers.”

If Granny disapproves, she doesn’t say. They’re gone and the door is closed behind them before Regina says anything.

“A dragon?” She cocks her head to Maleficent.

“Did you think you were punishing me all these years, child?”

“Why did you let me?”

Emma can feel Regina tense into her. She’s angry.

“That, dear one, is a conversation for another time.” Maleficent has lost her smirk.

“You lied to me.” Regina’s anger taints her voice.

“I could not risk your mother knowing.” That really gets Regina pissed off. She takes a step from Emma.

“I am not Snow White.” Regina’s hands are shaking with agitation. “I would have never betrayed you!”

“Your mother always had her ways to get what she wanted, Regina. With you, she was just violent.”

“It was her, wasn’t it?” Regina asks. “She put that thing in my heart?”

“I suspect she did, and that the other half of it is in your sister’s chest.”

“Zelena—” Regina all but falters. Emma catches her. She’s also picked up the box from the other night stand by Regina’s bed.

“Here.” Emma extends her hand and the box to Maleficent.

“No, Savior.” Maleficent shakes her head. “You hang on to it. I will tell you what it is later, after you have both rested.”

“So you’re staying?” Emma asks.

“Yes, we have much to accomplish.”

“Aren’t Rumplestiltskin and Regina’s sister going to come back for this?” She shakes the hand holding the box once.

“I will place wards around the grounds and the palace, but I doubt it. He will want the one in the Dark One’s chest as well, and as we know now—” Maleficent interrupts herself.

Ruby knocks and enters. Emma has the impression that it’s not why Maleficent didn’t finish her sentence.

“Only the act of a pure heart can detach the Sliver from its host.”

“We know what he really wants?” Emma asks.

“There will be a war, Savior, don’t doubt it.”

“Is there a way?” Regina asks, less angry than before. “Is there a way to end the Dark One’s curse without killing her?”

“I will think on it.” Maleficent turns her back on them to face Ruby. “Come, little wolf, I’m starving.”

Ruby looks at Maleficent like she’s from another planet, and then at Regina and Emma.

“Kathryn is settled with Mulan. Are you two okay?” Ruby frowns.

Regina nods.

“You told her yet?” Ruby asks Emma.

“I didn’t get a chance.”

“Told me what?” Regina looks at Emma, worried again.

“Frederick died.” Emma doesn’t know how else to say it. “And Kathryn killed Hook.”

“No!” Regina cries. Ruby is with them in a flash. She pulls Regina to her and Regina hangs onto her.

Emma watches them. Regina’s hands on Ruby’s chest, her face in Ruby’s neck. Their friend is taller than either of them. Not by much, but just enough. There’s an intensity to Ruby’s relief, being in Regina’s presence again.

“That was really a dumb thing to do, Regina.” Ruby isn’t really scolding her. “Don’t ever do something like that again.”

“It was the only way, Red.”

“I know.”

“I should go to Kathryn,” Regina announces. Emma kind of feels glad she’s not the only one calling Kathryn, well, Kathryn anymore. She just can’t picture Abigail.

“No, you should rest.” Ruby looks at Emma then. “You can barely stand on your feet. She’ll still be here in the morning. She’s exhausted, too. She was scared to death for you, and for Mulan.”

Regina lets out a resigned breath. Emma is feeling sort of dumbfounded that Regina would let Ruby be so familiar with her, but then what else had she imagined?

“I’m gonna go feed the lizard.” Ruby rolls her eyes, still holding Regina. “Do you want me to run the perimeter, check if we’re safe? You’re fine with Emma here.”

Maleficent snorts.

“No.” Regina pats Ruby’s chest with the flat of her hands. “I want you to go see your grandmother, and stay with Henry.”

“Will do.” Ruby kisses Regina’s cheek, tenderly, and then steps closer to Emma and kisses her, too. “Goodnight, Em.”

Emma blushes and looks at her feet. “‘Night, Rubes.”

Then Ruby’s hand is on her forearm. Emma looks at it.

“I love you, too,” Ruby says.

Emma’s head shoots up. Ruby smiles at her and she’s gone.

“Maleficent!” Emma calls after them. “Thank you, for saving us.”

Maleficent bows her head and turns to walk away.

“Wait!” Emma gasps. They forgot.

Maleficent is looking at her expectantly.

“The horses! You disapparated us here, and we forgot the horses!” She can’t bear the idea of Bug, Twinkie, Khan, Feathers, Alicante or Lad spending the night out there. And Alicante’s saddle bag has Frederick’s ashes in it.

“Shit! We did!” Ruby’s head is through the door again. “Come on, dragon, we have to go get the horses.”

“You always ask so nicely, little wolf.” Surprisingly enough, or weirdly not so much, Maleficent follows Ruby, who doesn’t seem to doubt even for one second that she’ll get what she wants out of the Witch. Woman. Dragon.

* * *

  
Emma is still blushing pretty hard, but she remembers that Regina has been in and out of consciousness all night.

“We should get you changed and then to bed.”

She’s awkward but she wants Regina to be okay. Emma steps into her space again and lifts her up in her arms.

“I can walk, Miss Swan.” There’s no bite to it but it makes Emma smile anyway.

“I know you can, but not today.”

“You just like carrying me around to show off your gallantry.” Regina is smiling into her neck. Emma is tempted to pause and look at her face just to see what kind of smile it is.

“Well, I have to be good for something around here.”

She deposits Regina on the bed, then walk back to grab the clothes Granny left for them.

“You saved my life, Emma.”

“It wasn’t just me.” Emma hands her a shirt. Regina takes it with one hand and captures Emma’s hand with the other, then she pulls.

Emma sits next to Regina on the edge of the bed. She looks down at Regina’s thumb stroking the top of her hand. It feels warm. The magic between them buzzes gently. Regina never stops. Emma breathes and breathes. She could sleep just like that.

Fingertips caress the line of her jaw then lift her chin. Regina’s hand is shaking a little. Emma wonders if it’s because of emotions, or because she’s exhausted. Maybe both. Regina rubs at a spot on her cheek and Emma looks to the ceiling before leaning into the hand cupping her face.

“I need a shower,” Emma says. “I must stink. And have stuff all over my face.”

“I could use that bath Granny offered.”

“I’ll get you a basin with hot water and a cloth, if you’d like.” Emma stands right away.

“Thank you.”

This is not awkward. Not at all.

Emma rushes to the bathroom, finding a basin on one of the counters. She lets the water run on hot for a while until it steams up. Then while the basin fills up, Emma gets a cloth and a towel, and also some type of soap that smells nice.

She makes sure to turn the water off and she walks back carefully to Regina’s side of the bed. She puts the basin on the nightstand then stands back, satisfied. Regina smiles, and offers a thank you.

It’s another smile. She wants to learn them all.

Regina takes the cloth and washes herself, slowly. She sits on the edge of her bed and rubs her lower legs clean, then her thighs. Emma is watching her completely hypnotized. Then she blushes and turns around.

“Right, I’m, um, gonna take a quick shower, and, um, I’ll be right back.”

She practically runs to the bathroom. Moving quickly isn’t that comfortable because although she lost the cloak a while back, she still has her dagger, Dart and her quiver to her waist, with her belt and holster, and also her sword strapped to her back and across her chest. On her jacket.

Emma takes off all her weapons, and then runs back into the bedroom as she realizes that she forgot her night clothes and that she doesn’t really need her weapons in the bathroom with her.

“Oh!” Emma turns around again. Horrorstruck. Sort of.

Regina is naked facing the basin. And Emma saw Regina’s back and her ass and the back of her legs, and the dimples on her lower back and Regina has thin ankles and small feet, but mostly a very nice ass and curves and her spine is arched and her skin is like gold and Emma isn’t sure she’s breathing.

She breathes. In and out. For good measure.

“Emma?” Regina sounds amused. She’s amused. Because Emma is being an idiot. What’s new?

“I, uh, forgot my shirt,” Emma says. “I’m sorry.” She walks to the nearest chair and drops her weapons on it.

There’s a rustling sound behind her. She doesn’t dare look.

“You don’t need your jacket or your boots, either.” Regina’s voice is right behind her. “I’m covered.”

“You shouldn’t be walking.” Emma frowns, but turns around anyway.

“I won’t stand for long.”

“How are you so calm?” She should learn to shut up.

“I’m about thirty-five years older than you,” Regina smiles. That one lifts the left corner of her mouth a little higher than the right one. “Take off your boots, Miss Swan.”

Emma does what she’s told. She puts them parallel to the chair with her weapons and also puts her dirty socks on top of them.

“Good. Now, your jacket.” Regina extends a hand.

Emma unties the lace which fastens the lapel to her collar. She undoes the straps which close the jacket she’s come to love even more than Dart, until she feels the ensemble loosen. She shrugs it off and gives it to Regina, who offers her a shirt in exchange.

“Enjoy your shower.”

“Yeah, ‘kay.” Way to go.

Emma bolts to the bathroom again. She drops all her clothes in a frantic exercise not to fall over and break something. She enters the shower stall, turns on the ceramic handle of the pretty copper pipes. She’s got to be careful not to touch those. The water is ice cold at first and Emma bites her lip not to squeal in shock. It warms up fast enough and soon she’s scrubbing herself with the washcloth she obviously forgot before getting in the shower, using the same pretty nice smelling soap she gave Regina.

Emma doesn’t want to just hold Regina. She wants her. That’s new, or not at all. She forces herself to breathe, her face under the running water. She would need to wash her hair if Kathryn hadn’t braided it for her before they left, on each side of her head up to the back so she wouldn’t be bothered by it during their rescue mission.

When she gets out the bathroom, Emma is dressed in a loose shirt that laces at the collar and makes her look like a musketeer. She wears only that and the closest thing this world has to the boyshorts she always favors back home. That’s how Emma encounters Regina, already in bed with a cup of tea and a raspberry scone.

“I was thirsty. And hungry. You should eat something, too,” Regina says.

Emma helps herself and joins Regina on the other side of the bed. She puts her cup and the other scone on the nightstand while she lifts the sheets and slips under them. Instinctively, she looks for her jacket. It’s in Regina’s lap.

“I save your life and you steal my jacket? That’s not fair.” Emma shakes her head in mock disapproval.

“I didn’t think I’d ever see this ugly thing again. Or you.” Regina makes a strange little choking sound, like a sob, but a moment later it’s like nothing happened. “I’m very glad you found me, Emma. Even if it does makes us more like your parents than I’m comfortable with.”

“I will always—” Emma wants another of Regina’s beautiful smiles.

“I’m not that grateful.”

Emma laughs. Regina smiles. It’s a smile of acceptance and pleasure. It suits her. This is their thing. This is the beginning of their comfort zone. Theirs.

Emma takes a bite of her scone; Regina does the same. They also drink some tea. It might be as much for composure as sustenance. Emma’s stomach is knotted. She desperately wants to relax.

Regina is still holding on to the jacket she had made for Emma. Her tears are never far. Emma knows now, the intensity with which Regina feels. Just about anything.

“So, war, huh? Is this gonna be how it is for the rest of our lives? Another bad guy, another dangerous pile of crap that nobody knows how to defeat?”

If that’s what it is, it’s going to get old really quick. It already is. New York is beautiful this time of year. Even Storybrooke is.

“We’re not at war tonight. Not here, in this palace. Here, for now, we’re safe.” Regina is trying to convince herself.

“I guess there’s a lot to talk about. Your new career as a bestselling author, maybe?”

“That, we will keep under wraps if you don’t mind?” Regina looks at her. Asking for Emma’s cooperation, that’s new. And vulnerable. Emma wants to touch her. To promise Regina that she understands. She knows now what she could only guess before, how Regina’s smile got stolen from her heart, and her eyes. Until it became a weapon.

Emma tries not to blurt that she’d sooner never talk about these things at all. She can’t say that. It’s not what Regina needs. It’s escape and running. She doesn’t want to run anymore. At least not from Regina and all the pain, the hardships suffered. It means that Emma is going to have to look at their common history, too, and the things she’s been through.

Regina gave herself without holding back. Emma admires her for it. She wants to honor her for it. She also loves her for it. Trust is a rare commodity in both their lives. Regina is a lot more trustworthy than Emma is. It’s a wonder it took all the people around them so much time to become aware of it. And to love her, too.

Emma is brave and reckless and self-sacrificing. Regina is truly courageous.

She kneels and inches closer to Regina. Then gently, she turns the jacket in Regina’s hands, on her lap, and opens the pocket inside the back of the jacket Emma could not imagine herself without anymore.

She produces the journals and deposits them in Regina’s hands.

“When the pirate ship exploded, and we were swimming in the sea with Bug, I thought they had gotten ruined.”

“You were on a pirate ship that exploded?” Regina looks horrified.

“I, um, yeah?” She only wanted to tell Regina that she’d taken good care of the journals. “But they’re fine. You did an awesome job at waterproofing them and all. Are they fireproof too? I didn’t dare try that.”

She doesn’t hear Regina laugh and she’s too shy to look up.

Emma clears her throat. “Well, anyway, they’re yours. I didn’t get to read everything, but I’m truly grateful you trusted me enough to—I know what it meant to you to do that.”

“Why on Earth would you ever get on a pirate ship? On a pirate ship, Emma!” Now Emma’s done it. Regina looks pissed.

Emma puts her hands up and sits down, crossing her legs. “To be fair, we didn’t know it was loaded with gunpowder at the time. And it was the only way we found to get to you.”

Regina is looking at her with a mix of irritation, worry and tears. It’s an expression Emma knows well, one she’s seen once too many times. But, before, Regina would have turned away or said something condescending or lashed out. That was before.

Now Regina has her arms wrapped around Emma’s neck, her hair as unruly as her temper tickling Emma’s nose, and she’s straddling Emma’s lap.

“Idiot.” Well, not everything has to change. Or change at once.

“You mean like giving yourself up on purpose to Rumplestiltskin?” Emma chuckles and gently twines her arms around Regina’s waist.

“Yes. Don’t do it again.” Regina is smirking into her neck.

“I won’t if you don’t.” And then biting it. “Hey!” Emma laughs and pulls Regina into her tighter.

Their magic flares. Their breathing hitches. Regina is so tense she’s vibrating in Emma’s arms, and Emma thinks she might very well be lovesick herself. Which is that close to freaking the hell out of her.

She tries to breathe, she really does. Every time, she’s met by Regina’s abdomen against her stomach. It’s not helping.

“So, tonight. Us. This bed—” She swallows.

“Granny will have your head.” Regina’s fingers are threading through Emma’s hair, the other hand grasping at her shoulder.

Emma buries her face into Regina’s hair and neck.

“I wouldn’t have stopped until I’d found you.” Her voice breaks.

“Emma—”

“I would have let him have it as long as it meant saving you. Even if it’d meant everybody else dying.”

Regina’s hands come to the sides of Emma’s face. Regina pulls for Emma to look at her. Emma’s eyes are full of tears. She wants to wipe them away but Regina won’t let her.

“Mi cielo.” Regina kisses her forehead, her eyelids, her eyelashes wet with tears. “You wouldn’t.”

Emma’s hands clutch at Regina’s waist. Under her shirt. Her skin.

“I—” Her voice is stuck. Everything hurts. Emma swallows a whimper, strangled in her throat.

Regina kisses her. Her upper lip. Her bottom lip. She bites. She sucks. Emma lifts both of them into their kiss. Their first kiss. She’s on her knees, a hand on Regina’s ass swallowing her moan as she kneads it, another on the skin of her back. Her nails dig into Regina’s flesh.

They need this. She’s going to scream, so much she’s longed.

She kisses Regina back with all her intent, her passion. She moans and tilts and bends and kneads. And their tongues are in each other’s mouth.

Regina isn’t anything they say. Regina isn’t prudish or cold or angry. She’s fire and strength and determination. She’s real and raw and she loves—oh, how she loves.

Emma’s chest soars with the multitude of emotions she’s feeling. Regina’s mouth, warm and wanting her. Wanting her. Seeking her. Like she’s everything. Like Regina needs her. Regina’s hands are on her face, cradling her, touching her, claiming her.

Emma cries. She cries and she’s a mess. But she wants to be strong and kiss Regina. Until it’s okay. Until they forget. Until nothing hurts.

“I’m—” She tries to get it out. She needs to get it out. Regina deserves that. “I’m sorry.” Regina deserves everything.

“Shhh.” Regina kisses her more. She wipes Emma’s face with so much care and so much—it’s too much. All too much.

“I’m so, so sorry.” Emma is kneeling and she bends into Regina’s neck. “I’m sorry.” She’s sobbing now and she’s weak but she doesn’t know what else to say. Because everything has always been bigger than her and she fights and fights, relentless, but fighting Regina, hurting Regina—Emma regrets having fought for that.

Emma is kneeling, and her face is now in Regina’s belly, her arms around Regina’s waist.

Regina waits. She doesn’t speak. She makes soft, gentle hushing sounds that Emma is sure she must have used with Henry before her. Regina threads her fingers through her hair and Emma never wanted this moment to be about her. Shame.

She calms. Regina is calm.

“There’s a lot we have to talk about, Emma.” Regina never stops stroking Emma’s hair.

Emma nods. She listens. She wants to listen like she’s never listened before.

“A lot about you. A lot about me. And a lot about our son.” Regina’s voice is soft. “You came for me. You were very brave. You could have stayed in New York.”

Emma lifts herself up to look at Regina, with all the resolve she can find.

“I couldn’t have.” She takes Regina’s loving hands in hers. “I had to fight bandits, kill pirates, survive a shipwreck, explore an army camp, ride a horse and face a dragon. Shit has been wild, and I was so fucking scared.” Emma sniffles. “But, all that? I read you every day, every word. All that you’ve been put through. All that I put you through. I came to the realization that I’m in love with you, Regina. I probably don’t deserve you, but I’m in love with you, too.”

“We make this right, now,” Regina says. “We make this right, and we live. We learn, we listen, and we talk.”

“And we live,” Emma repeats.

“I want to know about you.” Regina looks at her with honesty. “I want to know about your childhood and your life. Your dreams, your pains. I want you to talk to me. Really talk to me. And no more running.”

“No more running.” Emma smiles, through the wetness on her lashes and her sniffle. “I promised Henry I wouldn’t let you out of my sight.”

“Good.” Regina’s vulnerable suddenly. “Because I don’t know how to do this very well.”

“We’ll figure it out.” Emma’s a fool in love, and hope is nice sometimes. Lifts her right up. “We’re a family. We just take it one day at a time. Together.”

“What are we going to tell Henry?” Regina might as well panic.

Emma shrugs. “The truth.”

“The truth,” Regina agrees. “Right away?”

“He’s going to find out and then he’ll be mad at us that we didn’t tell him anything.”

“He’s very smart, and sensitive.”

“And almost fourteen.” Emma pauses. “I want us to do what’s healthy for him.”

“I can never lose him again, Emma.” Regina sounds heartbroken with the words.

“You won’t, I promise you, you won’t. I don’t care what it comes to, we won’t let that happen, okay? Curse or no curse, whatever the price, we stick together.”

Emma kisses her again to seal her promise.

“We’ll talk to him tomorrow? He’s going to be fine.” Emma’s gut is telling her that their son is going to be their knight in shining armor.

Emma pushes the jacket away at the foot of the bed, and she tucks the journals under Regina’s pillows. She rearranges the sheets for them to properly slip in them and then she lies down, gently pulling Regina with her.

They’re lying on their sides, face to face. Emma covers them properly. It’s not cold, but dawn will be there soon, the night is fresh and they’re exhausted, both emotionally and physically.

Emma kisses Regina’s lips softly, almost chastely this time. She looks at her, shy.

“I—” Emma’s not sure how to say it, so she decides to go ahead and say it. “I want to make love to you. I really do. But I want to do right by you even more, and you were drained from your magic, kidnapped and tortured for a month. You need to sleep and rest and process. ’kay?”

“Okay.” Regina smiles at her. This one is the prettiest so far. Emma has seen a version of it on Regina’s face already. I love you.

“And we’re gonna get your sister back.” Emma has meant to say that since the moment Regina begged Maleficent not to hurt Zelena. “We’re not leaving her behind.”

Zelena is Regina’s last blood relative. It’s just them. They’re the last of their line. Then it’s Henry and Emma. The whole family they’ve got.

“She’s my twin, Emma.” Regina looks down. “We’re not identical but she’s my twin sister. How could my mother—How could she do such a thing?”

“She took her own heart out. She couldn’t do anything else but break everybody else’s.” Emma snuggles closer to Regina and wraps her in her arms. “We’re going to kick Gold’s ass, once and for all, and get your twin sister back. ‘kay?”

“Okay.” Regina nestles her face in Emma’s neck. She’s warm in Emma’s arms, her hands resting on her chest and stroking her skin.

They breathe in unison. The moon shines in a sky full of stars. Regina has a twin sister. Emma has a baby brother. Maleficent is a dragon that Emma never killed. There’s some dark magic force at work. Gold is up to his neck in it. And there’s a war coming.

Emma is scared, but who wouldn’t be? Somehow, she knows that, as long as she’s with Regina, and Henry, and they love one another, they can do anything.

“Mi cielo,” Regina murmurs and kisses her below the ear.

Emma holds Regina tightly until she feels her breath relax and slow down, heavy with slumber.

When she’s almost asleep, Emma says one word with all the tenderness in her heart condensed into a single whisper.

“Regina.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  This was Book I |  _Maybe in My Words_ , of the Series |  _An Untold Fairytale_ , which will continue in Book II |  _Find a Way to Hear_.
> 
> The amazing art pieces linked to each chapter of _Maybe in My Words_ were performed by Joana, @artbyjoana on Tumblr. and @joanapuff on Twitter.
> 
> The extras, including a beautiful map of the Land of Fairytales courtesy of @rgbvscmyk on Tumblr., countries' histories, characters' headcanons and other time systems will be published separately, in a Glossary.
> 
> C.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Maybe in My Words](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2294504) by [artbyjoana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/artbyjoana/pseuds/artbyjoana)




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